FeelGooder: Tips for Life

10 Couples’ Massage Dos and Don’ts

October 25, 2011 by Guest Contributor

This post is by Denis Merkas of CouplesMassageCourses.com.

Massage between couples can be so much more than just a five-minute shoulder rub every now and then. Those particular shoulder rubs are not often given in the right spirit of generosity—couples instead bicker over who got the longer massage, who owes who what and then no one ends up satisfied (and everyone gets sore hands!).

Done right, massage can be a catalyst for building trust and intimacy between partners. Giving a loving massage—without expecting a thing in return—is a surefire way to make your partner feel absolutely amazing.

The benefits speak for themselves—heightened intimacy, a feeling of closeness, better sex, stress relief, brownie points… you don’t even have to be the one getting the massage to enjoy these benefits. Even the giver of the massage will feel more relaxed afterwards.

Image copyright istockphoto - Graham Bedingfield

With all that in mind, think about pampering your partner tonight with a special massage just for them and see what happens. Here are my top dos and and don’ts of massage to get you started.

1. Don’t squirt oil directly onto your partner’s body

Squirting cold oil onto warm skin looks sexy in the movies, but feels terrible in real life. Always squirt your oil into one hand and then rub your palms together to warm the oil up before applying to the body. Much sexier.

2. Do slow it down

So many couples tend to rush through their massage. There are no points for finishing first! Get your sweetie in the mood with relaxed, gentle strokes. Slowing down will also help you gain their trust, which means they’ll be putty in your hands by the end.

3. Don’t use your thumbs!

Aha, that one got you, didn’t it? Using thumbs is the quickest way to tire out your hands, so avoid using them at all until the very end of the massage. Start by using an open hand technique with relaxation strokes and save your thumbs as your secret weapon—after a good ten minutes of the open-hand technique, bust out your thumbs for short bursts (I’m talking 30 seconds only at a time) on specific knots to really make your partner melt.

4. Do ask for feedback

Any good massage therapist will ask their client for feedback, and you should do the same. “Is that deep enough?”, “How does this spot feel?”, “Where are you tight?” are all great questions.

Also look out for moans and groans, oohs and aahs while you massage; these all signify that whatever you’re doing, you’re doing it right—so keep doing it!

5. Don’t massage without being prepared

You don’t want to be stopping halfway through a massage to turn off lights, adjust the thermostat or grab a towel. Have everything you need organized and close by before you begin. And turn your phone off!

6. Do contour your hands to your partner’s body

The more surface area you can touch, the better your massage will feel for your partner. When massaging, keep your fingertips and palms down and relaxed. If your hands are stiff or tense they won’t contour properly and your massage won’t feel natural.

7. Don’t underestimate the ambiance

Tidy up the massage space so there’s no mess and clutter, and make it seductive by triggering all the different senses—light candles, play soft music, burn incense and serve wine and chocolate.

8. Do give encouraging feedback when you’re being massaged

Remember, your partner is new at this and will lose motivation if you’re critical of their performance. Positive reinforcement is the key, tell them what you love about the massage and how great it feels—remember to pound out some “oohs and ahhs.” Trust me, you’ll be on the receiving end of many more massages with this approach!

9. Don’t go in deep at the start!

Many people make the mistake of getting right in there with a firm massage. Unless your partner has just come off the football field and needs a leg rub stat, there is no excuse for going too deep too fast. Any good practitioner starts off gently every time to give the muscles time to warm up first. You can go in deep towards the end of the massage.

10. Do massage on the floor

The bed seems like a sexy idea, but the soft and uneven surface of the mattress is going to hurt your back, and your partner’s neck. The best position is for you to kneel on the floor with your partner sitting cross-legged between your knees. You must have plenty of cushions bolstered under your butt to help keep your weight off your knees. In this position, you have great access to your partner’s neck, shoulders, arms and upper back. Massage for no more than 20 minutes in this position as it will eventually start to tire out your knees and lower back.

Keeping the above in mind should set you well on your way to pampering your partner with a decadent, long massage. For more information on massage techniques go to CouplesMassageCourses.com and download your massage guide now.

Do you massage your partner at home? What does and doesn’t work for you?

Denis Merkas is a qualified Acupuncturist and Remedial Massage Therapist whose expertise is in training and developing professional massage therapists. He has used those same techniques over the last five years to teach couples how to massage in live workshops and has just released a series of eBooks, available at CouplesMassageCourses.com.

FeelGooder Asks: What Did You Give This Week?

October 21, 2011 by georgina

Giving makes us feel good. While altruism is largely regarded as being at odds with the basic theory of evolution, anyone who’s ever given help knows that it feels good.

What did you give this week?

I gave help to a man stranded in his car on a country road with two young sons.

Where I live, if you see someone standing beside their car, you stop and ask what’s up. This guy was at the crossroads of a major road, but no one seemed to have stopped.

Out here, no one can hear you run out of fuel.

So I wound down my window and asked what was wrong. He was out of petrol. My car was on diesel. Did he have a phone to call someone? No.

I pulled over and we talked. He had a long way to drive, and it was already mid-afternoon. I tried calling my friend to see if he had a jerry can of fuel, but to no avail. In the end, the driver borrowed my phone to call the national motorist-assist service. I told them where he was—though he was only about 50km from home, he didn’t know the roads—and they said they’d be about an hour.

I was so sorry I couldn’t have helped him with fuel—an hour’s wait is a long time—but he waved my apology away.

“Out of 30 or 40 cars that have passed,” he said, “you’re the only one who stopped.”

This was no big deal: it took about five minutes out of a sunny Sunday afternoon. Though I couldn’t help him more, I was glad I’d stopped. I didn’t exactly see it as optional—I saw it as natural. Who, I thought, wouldn’t stop for a stranded driver? I was also glad I’d met him. Being able to help someone—whether it’s someone you know, or someone you don’t—is extremely fulfilling.

That’s what I gave this week: five minutes of my time and a phone call. But it left me feeling pretty good about the world. What about you? Tell us what you’ve given in the comments.

How to Be as Happy as a Child, No Matter What Your Age

October 20, 2011 by Guest Contributor

This post is by Marie-Eve Boudreault of the behappyanddowhatyoulove.com blog.

Happiness is a tricky thing when you’re a kid—and also as you grow up into an adult.

I observe that we find happiness easily when we’re young. But we try so hard to please others, so we can be loved by them, or believe in a fictive way to live, that we lose that knack along the way. At least we can expect to grow up wise enough to have a broad perspective on life, and to know “It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.”

Have happiness teachers: mine are my sons (Image is author's own)

Fun is now

Somehow, when we think we “get” life and have a lot of responsibilities, the fun levels can decrease. We don’t have time for fun; we can’t have fun at work because we have to do “important stuff.”

When I was young, every moment was an opportunity to have fun. In school or in spare time, I knew instinctively what I loved: to hang out with my friends and sisters, read, go out into the woods with my dog, or be an athlete.

My three-year-old twin boys are the same: everything can be a source of wonder. Fortunately they are my every day teachers of having fun.

Find out how you can keep fun in your life or get it back.

Love goes with happiness

Love is energy: it can neither be created nor destroyed. It just is and always will be, giving meaning to life and direction to goodness. Love will never die.—Bryce Courtney

I understand now that love is what we should look for and do our utmost to carry out. But I can’t say I understand it more than ever, because it seems I knew it when I was as young as a toddler.

I flourished being in a circle of constant love, and perished when I wasn’t. Even if through the passage into adulthood loving slashed a bit of my happiness—because when love crashes, it hurts bad—I’ve never regretted to love. I get love from relationships, but also from the beauty of this world, the smile of a stranger, and conditions that permit us to live and experience reality.

Violence is the contrary of love. We can all know violence, going from a mild form to the extreme, and showing itself by verbal or physical abuse. I know we can stay in that place because we need to be loved, but this is not love. Looking back now, I’d stand up for myself and get out of abusive situations as soon as they came. Don’t be afraid to do so. Love yourself enough for that—and by this you’ll never be out of love.

You always have a choice to be happy

It’s easily observable: when a child has all his needs responded to, he’s—most of the time—naturally happy. I strongly believe genuine happiness is a natural state in humans.

Adults in our industrialized societies don’t appear to have retained this ability. Maybe we’re too much occupied to get the next thing that should gain us happiness, and greed, avarice or complacency have a part to play in it. Maybe we’ve been hurt too much by sad events in our lives. But we have to realize that we can be happy this very moment. If you don’t, you consciously—or unconsciously—make the choice to be unhappy.

I realized after doing what was expected of me, and facing the hardships of life, such as sickness, violence, and a child’s death during pregnancy, that I was becoming more and more unhappy. At the same time, that was the last thing I wished for me, and others. So I went out on a happiness quest: maybe this job will make me happy, this thing, this relationship…

I should have just stopped doing what was making me unhappy, and lived happiness in the present instead of going on a happiness treadmill. I’m not angry at myself. I was pretty much on my own, and I now have tools to remain happy no matter what happens. One of those tools is that I have to make the conscious choice to be happy.

Dreaming is good for happiness

Dreaming is the first step to achieve our dreams. We dream a lot when we’re kids, but somehow growing up we try to make those dreams fit with what’s socially acceptable.

Now that I have children, I really understand that parents love their offspring a lot. Often, we’re stuck in unpleasant situations and are depended upon to fulfill needs, so we forget our dreams and/or the wellbeing of our children. Young people, please understand this; parents, don’t neglect your children because of it.

Any of us can always strive for a better situation, and do our best to reach it. This is what will bring your dreams into your life.

An example: I’ve always loved books. In kindergarten I was angry at the teacher because she wouldn’t show me how to read and be in the first grade class. I forgot that one of my dreams was to write, but I’ve rediscovered it recently.

Now, the situation isn’t ideal because I work a lot at home with my kids. But we shouldn’t wait for ideal situations. I find time every week-day to write, because if I don’t, I feel unfulfilled. I’m an author and I love it. But if I’d stuck with my dreams originally, it would have taken me less time to find my passion, and what I believe I’m here to do: inspire people to live a happy, aware life and do what they love.

As adults, we have to fulfill all our needs, and rediscover our dreams without sabotaging those of our young—let them be.

Be a conscious, happy child

Now, it’s not too late! You can remember, as I did, to make the choice to have fun, love as if you’ve never been hurt, and live your dreams. Be a conscious child, no matter what age you’re at, and live in happiness.

Marie-Eve Boudreault chose the path of happiness and living her dreams, being a sociologist, stay-at-home mom and author. You can get her free ebook, ecourse, newsletter at Be Happy and Do What You Love, under the free products page, at http://behappyanddowhatyoulove.com/blog.

5 Steps to Better Self-confidence

October 19, 2011 by Guest Contributor

This post is by Nabil Gulamani of successatreach.com.

Many of us want to work on our self-confidence, but we are not sure about what approach to take to improve it. Those of us that suffer from low self-confidence know we need to take action … and yet we don’t.

Below I have included five tips for ways you can improve your self-confidence so that you can have more success in your career and your personal life.

1. Talk to more people every day

Most of us are caught up in a routine lifestyle, and we talk to the same people every day.

Image copyright Yuri Arcurs - Fotolia.com

In order to take your self-confidence to whole new level, you have to make a habit of talking to different people consistently. You will realize that when you have mastered this skill, you will overcome your shyness. The reason why many people suffer from low self-esteem in their social lives is because they are not talking to enough new people each day.

2. Get outside of your comfort zone

We all have fears in certain areas that stop us from having the lives that we really desire. In order for you to grow mentally and emotionally strong, you have to get outside of your comfort zone.

Make a habit of doing what you fear, and you will notice that you will get past all of your limiting beliefs. The reason most of us are afraid to step outside of our comfort zone is because we fear the unknown. When you learn how to deal with uncertainty on a regular basis, you will get a sudden boost in your level of confidence.

3. Practice making direct eye contact when you’re talking to other people

Making eye contact is very important with the people you communicate with face-to-face, every day. When you can master making great eye contact, it will help you in your career, but it can help improve the relationships you have in your personal life as well.

When you can make good eye contact when talking with others, it shows that you have leadership traits. People respond positively to leaders, so if you master these skills, your friends, co-workers, and members of the opposite sex will gain more respect for you.

4. Surround yourself with people who are successful

Start getting to know people who are successful in every area of their life. This includes friends and people in your work niche as well.

When you make a habit of talking to successful people, your vision will expand and you will explore new opportunities that you hadn’t seen in the past. When you are around individuals that are willing to share their success and help you as well, you will enjoy a lot of positive energy.

5. Exercise more often

Go to the gym at least four to five times a week. Many of us are sitting at our office desks the whole day, and it can get really depressing if we don’t move around during the day.

Lack of exercise will affect your confidence in all areas of your life. If you do not want to go to the gym and prefer the outdoors, go for a run or hike. Make working out and eating healthily a long-term commitment. Don’t get into crash dieting because you will feel like you are forcing yourself to stay healthy, and that can have a negative impact on your self-esteem.

Next time you pull out your calendar, make sure that you have enough time set up so you can work on mastering the above skills. Make a daily habit of doing something that will improve your self-confidence.

What are you going to do to take your self-confidence to the next level?

Nabil Gulamani is in sales and helps businesses nationwide with their Direct Marketing. During his free time he blogs about self-improvement and personal growth to help people improve their overall lifestyle. You can visit his Self-Improvement blog www.successatreach.com.

How to Know When to Seek Relationship Counselling

October 18, 2011 by Emma

If your car broke down and there was smoke rising from the bonnet, would you try and fix it yourself? Or would you have it towed off to a mechanic to make sure the job got done properly?

It may not be the most romantic metaphor, but you can compare a long-term relationship to owning a luxury car.

It needs to be looked after carefully, filled with a particular kind of high-octane fuel, taken for regular spins, and have its oil and water levels checked constantly.

When your luxury car needs servicing, you don’t try to do it yourself. You send your precious vehicle to a specialist mechanic who knows how to fix it correctly.

Then why is it that, at the sight of smoke coming from our relationship’s bonnet, we don’t take ourselves off to a relationship “mechanic” for help?

Why do so many couples insist on blindly trying to fix it themselves (often not armed with the right tools or the user’s manual), instead of asking for help?

Couples counseling, unfortunately, has a bad rap. Seen as the domain of the philanderer spouse and almost-divorced, a couple usually has to find themselves in serious turmoil before they turn to a psychologist for help.

But what if we went much earlier to see counselors?

What if—what if—we went for yearly “maintenance” tune-ups so that any potential problems were caught early enough to manage effectively?

When there are issues in your relationship that you are struggling to resolve yourselves, why not ask an expert for their advice?

You may just save your relationship.

The stigma

Because of the general public perception of what counseling “means” for a couple (read: divorce, problems, break ups), it can be hard for people to make the leap and seek out help early.

Going to counseling also means having to admit there’s a very real problem in the relationship—something that can be hard to face.

But the first step to solving any problem is to recognize it. And thinking that you should be great at being in a relationship is a fallacy.

People don’t automatically have perfect relationships. Just because you have problems in yours, doesn’t mean you are “not meant to be together” or that you’re with the wrong person.

Look at it like any other small hurdle in life—able to be solved, and a good learning experience.

The other good news is that often, after seeing a therapist, couples will realize that their problems aren’t quite so overwhelming as they once thought. With the correct strategies in place and a new perspective on the issue, suddenly the unsolvable becomes completely manageable.

How to know when to go to counseling

There are several indicators you can look for to tell you when it might be time to seek counseling, which I’ve taken from Relationship Journey:

You want to learn skills and tools to have a good or even better marriage or relationship.
Or, as soon as one of you thinks you need it, even if the other person doesn’t think so.
Or, you feel stuck and what you have tried on your own is not working.
Or, one of you feels emotionally or physically and sexually disconnected, and can’t seem to change it on your own.
Or, you fight or withdraw or refuse to address issues of conflict.
Or, you think your partner is what is wrong with the marriage or relationship.
Or, you are thinking you might be happier with someone else.

Basically, if you’re not happy, or you’re sure something is wrong and you can’t seem to fix it yourself, go and find more information about it.

How to find a good counselor

Finding a good counselor is paramount. Make sure the person you choose does specialize in relationship counseling—it’s a very different model to individual therapy. If you’re not sure, ask them on the phone how much of their practice is dedicated to relationship counseling.

Make sure the therapist knows that you and your partner are there to work on your relationship, not to be coached through a break up or divorce.

Every counselor has a different style and approach. There are those who are pro-marriage, who will advocate for your marriage and fight to help you save it. For me, this would be the most preferable style of counselor to find. You don’t want someone who is anti-divorce (sometimes, in extreme cases, this may be the only solution), but you don’t want someone who is quick to jump to that option either, or who will put the idea on the table even when it’s the furthest thing from your mind.

There are those who are marriage-neutral and will simply help you list pros and cons for saving the relationship or letting it go. Again, I would prefer someone who would help me fight for my relationship.

Alternatives

If counseling seems too extreme for you, or you are uncomfortable with the idea, consider finding some relationship education courses to attend. These are run by qualified relationship educators and can offer some great insights into relationships and give you new tools to help manage your own relationship in day-to-day life.

What are your thoughts about relationship counseling? Have you ever tried it? And if not, would you?

FeelGooder Asks: What’s Your Good News?

October 14, 2011 by georgina

Look in the papers—or at the online news—right now and you’d be forgiven for feeling a little deflated. In fact, that’s probably the best-case scenario! Between shaky local and global economies, political bickering, environmental disasters, and humanitarian crises, things are grim.

…but not entirely.

What’s your good news?

Snow: an increasingly uncommon sight where I live.

I know you have some good news. Perhaps it’s something that’s happened in your personal life, or to a friend. Or maybe it’s something you read online. In any case, share your good news with us in the comments—with a link if you can—so that we can all add a bright, FeelGooder moment to our days.

My good news? The government here in Australia has passed carbon tax laws. This is one debate that’s raged white-hot for some time in Australia.

Regardless of the politics, whose side you’re on, or what you believe the merits of a tax are or are not over other tools that could be used to curb carbon emissions, this seems to me to be a large philosophical step forward for Australia. And that’s good news.

My country remains one of the highest emitters of carbon per capita in the world. Given the changing climate here—and with our Pacific Island neighbors—I’m very glad that we seem to finally be tackling the difficult question of what we can, and are willing, to do to act. To me, this mind shift is very good news.

What’s your good news this week? Please share it with us in the comments.

Top Health Tips for Computer Users

October 13, 2011 by Guest Contributor

This post is by Jane of Coupon Triumph.

Online entrepreneurs use computers a lot. They sit in the same place a lot. That doesn’t sound healthy, does it?

It’s not just online entrepreneurs—anyone who uses computers for their work, or for fun, sits in front of computers a lot.

Such people tend to neglect their health as they spend long hours in front of their computers. Sitting the whole day isn’t really advisable as it may affect your body and take a toll on the overall health. And that’s before we consider strain and other injuries specifically related to computer use itself.

Image copyright Ana Blazic Pavlovic - Fotolia.com

Yes, as a person who uses computers often, you will need to invest in your health too. Here’s a list of action items to get you going and stay healthy—even in front of the computer!

Your eyes need attention

As you continuously work in front of a monitor, staring the screen for a long time, you are sure to strain your eyes. Many vision-related issues crop up because of long hours spent sitting in front of the computer.

Taking breaks in between tasks, looking away from your screen, and maintaining a good distance from your screen while you are working may help you give you relief from eye irritation and strain. You should also make sure you blink while you look on the screen—don’t just stare at it for long hours.

Back issues

Many people’s backs ache when they sit for long hours; it only adds up more pain if you don’t pay enough attention to the initial signs and take steps to avoid the back issues in the first place.

Get yourself a comfortable chair which enables you to keep your feet on the floor. A footstool may help if you need extra height. Sit straight and take small breaks for walks away from your desk.

Eat—don’t skip

Your diet does come into play here. You shouldn’t skip your meals: you are what you eat, and your health depends on how healthily you eat.

Avoid sugar-rich foods and starches. Grab fruits and healthy snacks instead. If you feel that you don’t have time to get away from your work, keep healthy snacks at your desk. Remember: eat healthy to stay healthy.

Drink water

Water, as they say, is the elixir of life. Drinking water while you work may save you from lot of problems related to dehydration. Your computer heats up, and working inside under lights, or in air-conditioned spaces, can also make you feel dehydrated.

Sometimes, you may not even feel that you are thirsty because you are so busy at work. Keep a bottle of water ready and sip in at regular intervals. This will ensure that your water intake is proper.

Neck pain

Exercise while you work. I do not mean that you have to totally cut off from your work—you can follow some simple and easy exercises at your desk itself. Tilt your head to avoid neck pain now and then by looking up, and to the right and left sides.

You can also relax for a few minutes in your chair, too. Do try exercises that relieve shoulder pain, like rolling your shoulders back and forth a few times each hour.

Use a friendly keyboard

This may sound a little difficult, as many of us usually become adjusted to a particular keyboard. But this quick tip works too well, as it gives much-needed comfort to your ever-typing fingers.

Invest in a ergonomic keyboard—one that’s friendly to your hands and wrists. It will benefit your work and your health as well. It helps you easily avoid that wrist pain which cramps your muscles, and leaves you free from finger pain too.

Weight loss

Unintended weight loss occurs as we result of the wrong eating habits and an unhealthy lifestyle.

Skipping meals is a strict no-no. Give yourself good amount of time to finish your food completely—it energizes you to work for the rest of the day. Try spending meal times with family or friends, and make eating a fun-filled activity in your schedule.

Sleep

Last, but not least, sleep is as important as food to your health. You might get yourself a bad headache or strain yourself too much if you continue working all day and night.

Relax your brain and eyes and slip into a good sound sleep. You will feel more refreshed after a good sleep, and you’ll work more effectively too.

Try these effective tips to get your work going without sacrificing your health. Do you have any you can add?

Jane also writes for Coupon Triumph, a discount coupon site that offers bistro md and diet to go discount coupons.

How to Make Decisions: 10 Useful Questions and 5 Simple Techniques

October 11, 2011 by Guest Contributor

This post is by Barry Demp of dempcoaching.com.

I like things to be simple, and yet if you read even a fraction of the information about decision-making, you could get a brain cramp! For that reason, I will share some simple ideas that you may “try on” as you navigate your professional and personal life decisions.

General questions and techniques for great decision-making

Image copyright Gorilla - Fotolia.com

When you’re making any decision, it’s useful to ponder these questions:

What are my needs, preferences and the objectives I desire?
How can I use both my heart and head in making this decision?
What creative alternatives can I generate?
What are the drawbacks and risks associated with this decision?
What are the positive outcomes that will occur if I make this decision?
What would logic and an objective approach have me decide?
What do my intuition and gut tell me to do?
What does my knowledge and experience suggest?
What decision will benefit the most people?
What process or techniques are available to make this decision?

You can use these simple techniques to help with any decision:

Create a Pros and Cons list of advantages and disadvantages of each decision.
Prioritize by choosing the options with the highest probability of success.
Choose the first option that comes to mind. It is often correct.
If the option is between two equally good decisions, flip a coin and get into action.
Check your moral compass and values and ask yourself what is right.

“The pain of discipline weighs ounces whereas the pain of regret weights tons.” Jim Rohn

The power of making effective decisions and taking decisive action is the source of professional and personal success. If you happen to make a mess—and we all do from time to time—you can always decide to clean it up.

What decisions are you facing in your professional or personal life today? Which of the above questions and techniques will you use to help you choose a route forwards?

Barry Demp is a highly-skilled Michigan Business and Personal coach, working with small business owners, executives and other professionals. He has a free ebook Time Management Strategies and Tactics: A Workbook available on his website, and he blogs regularly about self-improvement.

Why You Should Volunteer

October 10, 2011 by Guest Contributor

Too often we get caught up in our own lives. We mean to volunteer and “be a good person”—whatever that means—but we just don’t get around to it. For some days, being busy is a good enough excuse. But what you’re missing out on is far more valuable than a little lost leisure time.

Personal satisfaction

You probably remember that feeling you got after participating in your company’s canned food drive last year. But do you remember how quickly it went away? The point to volunteering is to do it regularly enough that you’re getting the full benefit of it along with the nonprofit you’re working with.

Image copyright mangostock - Fotolia.com

Of course, if you’re doing something you hate, quite frankly, you’re never going to feel good about it. The trick is to find something that may not be 100 percent fun, but it is something you can do with a smile on your face.

Gardeners can look for opportunities in the spring to help landscape nonprofits, and those who love children can work at a Boys and Girls Club. If you know a specific craft or skill, contact your local library and see if you can offer a class on it through them. People who enjoy a little alone time can work at historical societies and comb through data and records or even walk cemeteries to record burial sites.

Whatever you choose to do, make sure that it’s something you don’t mind eating away at your free time or you likely won’t stick with it.

The personal side of networking

If you’re looking for a way to meet people, either as friends or business contacts, look no further than your local food pantry. Volunteering releases all sorts of endorphins that will make you a happier, friendlier person that’s just ripe for hiring or befriending.

Looking for friends? Chances are good you’ll find someone with your same interests if you find a specialized volunteer position. Chances aren’t that great that they’ll be in the same age group (depending on the position), so be open to mentoring a college student or helping a senior.

Better than exercise?

Okay, no, it’s not better for your body than exercising. It will, however, give you some of the same benefits. The Corporation for National and Community Service created a report from 30 studies that showed significant health benefits for those who volunteered 100 hours or more a year.

Heart attack patients were less likely to battle depression after their hospitalization if they were volunteers or if they began to. In one study, those 65 and older lived longer if they volunteered. Another study showed older generations had less of a decline in health. Yet another study showed that those with significant health problems progressed better than science can account for.

In addition to all of that, volunteering gets you off the couch. Whether you’re walking around, playing with children or gardening, you’re going to be moving around. Even volunteering at a food pantry can require anything from lifting and carrying heavy boxes to filling grocery sacks. However, if you have problems with mobility or lifting, don’t hesitate to contact an organization. More than likely, they’ll need someone to work the receptionist’s desk or be a greeter.

Learn new skills

Sure, you could take classes to learn new skills. But they’re not going to be as hands-on as learning in the moment. Many nonprofits use online training to teach their recruits, but others will sit down with you and explain things.
You can learn grant-writing (a semi-lucrative writing career), just by volunteering at an animal shelter. Often, the directors will teach you enough for you to do it and guide you through the first one. Their investment in you pays off as you continue to work with them.

At many organizations, you can learn new computer programs. The volunteers are all busy people, but they’re also patient, and they’ll recognize that it’s important for you to know everything that’s going on in the system. Respect their time and pay attention, and they’ll be as helpful as you need them to be. You can also learn soft skills, like working with children or training animals.

So what are you waiting for?

If you’re looking for a great place to volunteer, check your local United Way. They’re a collection of non-profits, and you’ll be able to talk to someone in person about your skills and where you’d best fit. You can also get information on which non-profits have an upbeat atmosphere instead of a frazzled one. If they’re frazzled because they’re understaffed, go ahead and try them. If they’re frazzled because of poor management, though, they’ll only add stress to your life.

For those who want to type in some keywords and get results, check out Volunteer Match, which lets users type in a keyword and their location to find some options they would be interested in. Go through a search portal like Volunteer Match instead of just Googling a term, though, because many non-profits don’t have websites.

Now get out there and start helping others and yourself!

Jesse Langley lives near Chicago. He divides his time among work, writing, and family life. He has a keen interest in blogging and social media and is an advocate for online training.

FeelGooder Asks: What’s Made Your Day?

October 7, 2011 by georgina

Over the last year, I’ve had—and taken—more opportunities to honestly say “You’ve made my day!” than ever before.

It’s a great feeling to make someone’s day—on par, in my books, with having someone else make my day. Also, the more often I recognize that someone’s made my day, the more likely I am to have that feeling.

What’s made your day?

Today, FeelGooder author Peter Sinclair sent me a link to an article he’s just published, called 27 Champion Influencers of 2011. And he’d mentioned me in his list!

You guessed it: this made my day. For those of us who work independently or online, the relationships we build with those we’re dealing with are valuable. They have real meaning. But regardless of the circumstances, to get a thank you like this would boost anyone’s mood! This kind of thing makes me feel that what I do is worthwhile, and that I’m actually making a difference for someone. That’s a pretty great feeling—it’s rewarding, but it’s also extremely motivating.

Of course, it’s not always people that make our day—sometimes it’s events, or a general sense of good fortune. What’s made your day in the recent past?