FeelGooder: Tips for Life

Holistic Fitness: It’s Not Just Sweat and Weights

August 18, 2011 by Lisa Johnson

I read lots of fitness information, studies, the latest workouts, journal reviews, and so on. I find it rare that people talk about fitness in terms of integrating it into a lifestyle. We are often just looking at evaluating one small piece of a much bigger pie.

I had the opportunity to go to a hiking retreat recently and they looked at the big picture. They wanted us to move, lose weight, and eat healthily, but they also wanted us to address other things such as sleep, stress, spirituality, and community.

Coming back on the plane I felt so, well, balanced. I got it! For a shimmering moment in time the whole concept of wellness was distilled for me. I was going to meditate more, work out with friends, be in bed early, ditch the laptop in the evenings … it was going to be amazing!

The reality is I walked back into a dirty house, an impending dinner party, a family who missed me and wanted me back, and a 56-item to do list for work. Balance? What’s that?

A week later I’m realizing I have to pick a couple of things at a time. I need to get my exercise in, but my downtime too. I need to eat healthfully but I can squeeze in girlfriend time over lunch or a workout. The 56-item to do list got delegated and executed down to 30 or so (still scary), and meditation is haphazard but a work in progress.

A lot of people treat fitness as a short-term fix. If they can just work hard for the next X weeks, they’ll have the body they want and go back to their lives again. It just doesn’t work that way.

If you need to put your life on hold to lose a few pounds you’re doing it wrong and you’re destined to fail.

Instead, look at the big picture, see what you’d like to add into it, and try to slide it in gracefully. You’ll be much more likely to make and keep the change. You might even inspire somebody else to change, too.

What new holistic fitness thing would you like to bring into your life? Do you have a plan to do it? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

7 Ways Travel Makes You FeelGooder

August 17, 2011 by Guest Contributor

This post is by Ryan Barton of Smart Marketing.

“So, what do you think the chances are that we’ll catch our flight?”

“When does it leave?” asks the border agent.

“4:30.”

“You’ll be spending the night here in London, I’m afraid,” he says, handing back our passports. He glances at the line behind us, “Next!”

My wife and Iook at each other and sprint towards the baggage carousel. One bag, two bags, three bags, go!

Pushing our luggage ahead of us, we navigate the crowded corridor between baggage claim and the train to Terminal 1.

There’s only one flight a day; we have to catch this flight, we have to get home.

Image is author's own

Out of breath, we stumble to the subway platform; there’s no train.

“When’s the next train?!,” I blurt to the attendant. She looks at her watch, “‘Bout five minutes.”

The train arrives. Travelers get off, travelers get on, doors shut, and we’re on our way.

If we miss this flight, we’ll find a hotel? If we miss this flight, we’ll sleep on the floor? If we miss this flight…

Six minutes later, the subway doors open and a young American couple frantically begins their race towards the next terminal’s elevators.

Three weeks in Europe, and we’re spending our last few minutes sweating through Heathrow.

We charge out of the elevators and locate our airline’s check-in desk in the distance. We check our baggage, move through security (belt off, hat off, iPad out, no security alarms, iPad in, hat on, belt on, go!), and slide into the aircraft before the doors shut behind us.

Finally in our seats, my wife looks at her sweating husband. “You may want to change your shirt.”

Travel is an investment

It’s been three weeks since we returned home from our whirlwind tour of Europe.

Sure, our time in Heathrow may have been the most exciting, heart-pounding leg. It may have challenged our comfort levels and sanity more than any other country did. But I wouldn’t change it for the world. What a story; what an experience!

And while we were sad to return home, I’ve personally never had so much clarity, peace, and happiness as I do now.

For you, travel is getting from Point A to Point B. For many, it’s a means to relaxation. And for others, it’s the simple thrill of seeing a new stamp in a passport book.

Whatever the reason, when travelling, you collect amazing, memorable experiences along the way.

Removing yourself from daily routines refines who you are; it’s something new. It sharpens you, removes the excess, and re-energizes your soul.

7 ways travel will enhance your life

Travel is more than scoring a tan and eliminating the bags under your eyes; that’s what your backyard’s for.

Here’s why I travel; seven ways I believe it makes you a better person:

1. Clarity

I’m a huge advocate for changing your routines. When we’re in “the grind,” we dig ourselves into such a rut we can’t see out.

By changing routines, you’re forcing yourself to ask why you’re doing what you’re doing; maybe there’s a better way of doing it.

Travel does just that. From the moment you land in a new city, your routines change. You’re not driving, you’re walking. You’re not hustling around the office, you’re admiring new scenery.

Personally, I ask if it’s worth doing in the first place. And by eliminating burdensome tasks, I enjoy renewed clarity.

2. Perspective

Back at home, my morning routine was simple — wake up, turn on phone, check email, check Twitter, shower, check email, check Twitter… Chances are, you know the cycle too.

While traveling, my phone’s turned off. And after three weeks of breaking that cycle, suddenly Twitter wasn’t all that important; spending time with my wife was.

Two years ago, we traveled through Cartagena — an amazing city of color and culture.

But like many cities, the poverty surrounding historic locales reminds you how fortunate you are to live where you live, eat what you eat, and sleep in the comfy bed you do. Suddenly, all those minute problems you stress about don’t seem so big anymore.

3. Culture

In my beloved suburb outside Los Angeles, you’ll have a hard time finding a building older than 20 years. We live in a “new” city, where anything older has either deteriorated or been rebuilt.

Contrast that with Barcelona’s Sagrada Familia—Gaudi’s famed basilica that’s still being built 129 years after the project started and isn’t scheduled to be completed for another 15.

The same goes for having dinner in a Parisian café at midnight, snorkeling among the kelp forests in Alaska, or walking through the throngs of pigeons in Venice’s St. Mark’s Square.

That’s culture, that’s collecting stories, and that’s the complete opposite of walking through your neighborhood big box retailer.

Experiencing another’s culture — their food, their lifestyle, the things they prioritize—adds to your cultural quiver; that’s something you can’t buy locally.

4. Inspiration

At home, inspiration is elusive. It certainly doesn’t come from 10 hours in a cubical or a noisy cafe.

So I take long bike rides at night, I enjoy fresh air on morning walks, I play with the dogs—anything that isn’t explicitly “work.” Because that’s when the best ideas come—when I’m able to think without distraction.

When I’m travelling, my mind is elsewhere; and yet, travelling kick-starts idea fires. I don’t plan on it, but without fail, I smuggle new ideas back into the country.

Sometimes it’s a photograph, sometimes it’s people watching, sometimes it’s observing an old-time business owner greet loyal customers by name, and other times, it’s just getting out of your day-to-day rut.

5. Delegation

Are you like me? You firmly believe the best and only way to do something is by doing it yourself. That makes it really hard to let go. My wife and I had the great fortune of taking a month off for each of the last two years.

She had to learn to let go and delegate the care of her kids—the dogs—to somebody else. Let’s not even get started with how (and how often) the house was cleaned.

I had to learn how to give proactive and detailed feedback to my assistant so Rhyno continued operating in my absence.

If we hadn’t traveled, we never would’ve been presented with those challenges. But since, we’ve grown, we’ve learned, and we’re ready for what’s next.

6. Relationships

As the old adage goes, absence makes the heart grow fonder. That’s why travel is great for building strong, boundary-respecting relationships.

Professionally, I told my clients I’d be off the grid and travelling. That meant working together to ensure all projects were wrapped before I left.

Because when I left, I was gone. No amount of emails, phone calls, text messages, Twitter DMs or carrier pigeons was going to yield a response. The result? My clients respected my time away, appreciated me upon my return, and were eager to get back to work when the vacation veil was lifted; so was I.

But the same principle also applies to our personal relationships. Look beyond the romantic cliches and you’ll see the same is true for your family and friends. Who can you not wait to see? Who’s greeting you at the airport when you’re back in town?

You’ll soon remember why some people are in your life and what makes them so special. Those are the people who fill you up and enrich your life; everybody else simply drains you dry.

7. Confidence

Inherently, travel will force you to do something you’re uncomfortable with; it’ll challenge your comfort zones over and over again. But that’s how you grow and discover new confidence.

When we sprinted through Heathrow and still made our flight, we triumphed. That built confidence.

When I taught her how to snorkel in Hawaii, she struggled to breathe, but conquered it in just an hour’s time. Now, she’s a pro, looking to dive in any country we visit.

Embrace the portions of travel that make you say “if I can do this, I can do anything.” Those confidence-building experiences are precious.

Do you have a travel story?

Has travel made you a better person? How has it helped you grow in ways you didn’t expect? Or maybe you have other reasons you enjoy travelling.

Whatever the case may be, share your story below!

Ryan Barton is the author of “Smart Marketing” — a 169-page marketing blueprint for small business success. Follow him on Twitter, Google+, or subscribe to his blog.

Why I Love … My Heroes

August 16, 2011 by Guest Contributor

This post is by Michele C. Hollow of Pet News and Views.

You might not know their names. However, once I tell you their stories, they will be your heroes too. They don’t wear capes or have secret identities. What they do have in common is a need to help others—both animals and people.

Their stories are inspirational; if I’m having a bad day, interviewing my heroes transforms my mood. That positive feeling is reinforced when I write about them.

My blog, Pet News and Views, focuses on the positive side of animal welfare. I spend my days with people and animals who make a difference. Judy Fridono and her surfing dog Ricochet (yes, you read that right) are two of my heroes. Ricochet, a golden retriever, surfs for charity. Together they have raised $100,000 to help disabled children and adults. Watch this video and I guarantee you will feel good.

Eldad and Audrey Hagar of Hope For Paws get the hero tag because of their rescue work. This husband and wife team, in California, have rescued thousands of abused dogs and cats from scary situations. I don’t know how they do it. Talking to them lifts my spirits. And there are others who are in the trenches doing amazing rescue work.

Then there are the trainers who work with rescue dogs, therapy dogs for children with epilepsy, and military service dogs. When I heard about the dog who could detect seizures a few minutes before they occur and how a child has cut back on her medication thanks to this dog’s actions, I got teary-eyed.

The people who work with and on behalf of animals are my heroes. The animals are heroic too. I know the power animals have on us. When I’m feeling sad, my cat is right at my side. Heck, he sits on the desk while I write. I’ve been known to type with one hand, while the other pets Earl Gray, my cat.

A call to action

I have developed a deep bond with many of my readers. I request that they send e-mails to congress to stop the wild horse round up, sign a pledge stating they will not shop at stores that sell puppies (these stories support puppy mills), or leave a comment on my site so a pet food company will donate food to an animal shelter. I truly love my readers because they come through each and every time.

Some people don’t understand

Animal welfare people are often asked, “Why help animals when there are so many people suffering?” Did you know that most people who help animals also help people? It’s true. And when we help animals, we actually help ourselves. The love we get back from animals is immeasurable.

Being true to my beliefs

Recently a major clothing company approached me about purchasing a banner ad on my site. They were talking about a good deal of money. I was elated. Then I found out that this company came out with a perfume, and my ethical side kicked in. I sent an e-mail asking if they test on animals. They said they did, and I had to turn down the ad. Darn, I could have used that money.

I am following my bliss by writing about my heroes—both two- and four-legged—and the rewards are slowly coming to fruition. I can’t rely on my blog for my full income yet. However, other opportunities like speaking gigs are arising.

My agenda

I want everyone who reads Pet News and Views to spay and neuter their pets. I want people to adopt from local shelters and rescue groups. I want people to promise never to wear fur. I want people to be kind to animals, and in turn, to be kind to one another.

My husband sometimes calls me a dreamer. I just interviewed a hero of mine who is working to get people throughout the world to spay/neuter their pets. He is getting endorsements from celebrities and has just launched a nonprofit for students to get involved. His organization is called 600 Million. There are 600 million stray dogs in the world living in deplorable conditions. Without spaying/neutering these dogs, these 600 million dogs can give birth to between one and three billion puppies each year.

During my interview with this hero, I was told that there are scientists researching oral contraceptives that would sterilize these dogs. This person was so positive that a solution would be found.

The skeptic in me kicked in. However, he and others like him who are working tirelessly to make this a better world continue to make me believe. They are the dreamers, and I’m so proud of them.

Michele C. Hollow writes the blog Pet News and Views (http://petnewsandviews.com). Her blog has been nominated for Best Pet Award. You can follow and link with her at: Facebook: Michele C. Hollow, Facebook: Pet News and Views, Twitter: @michelechollow, @PetNewsAndViews. LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/michelechollow.

FeelGooder Asks: How Do You Keep Your Relationships Strong?

August 12, 2011 by Emma

I’m always fascinated when I meet people who have reached their twentieth, thirtieth, or fiftieth wedding anniversaries (or longer!) and are still together. The first question I always blurt out is: What’s your secret?

I love the answers. No one has ever told me it’s easy. My own grandmother tells me that she and my Pa always had fun—that was their key. And it’s true. They were always laughing, pulling stupid pranks on each other, telling jokes, organizing costume parties, and so much more. They adored each other and they loved to laugh. I make it a point to keep playing in my relationship as much as possible.

On Valentine’s Day 2010, the world’s longest-married couple took to Twitter to share their wisdom and advice in bite-sized pieces for the younger generations, who were all invited to tweet questions.

The Fishers' Twitter stream

Together 86 years, Herbert and Zelmyra Fisher (with the help of a technologically-savvy young thing somewhere) delivered their gems of marriage insight to the World Wide Web.

When you are more than 100 years old, I’d say you’ve seen nearly everything. They struck me with their calmness and certainty in what they have, and the sheer solidarity of what it takes to get through almost a century together.

When asked how they knew they were right for each other, they said: “We grew up together and were best friends before we married. A friend is for life—our marriage has lasted a lifetime.”

And when asked about the hard relationship times they said: “Remember marriage is not a contest—never keep a score.” They emphasise teamwork and a willingness to do what needs to be done.

These days, they enjoy sitting on their porch talking. After all these years they haven’t run out of things to say to each other.

What advice would you give to someone asking how to keep their relationship strong? What’s the best advice you’ve ever received from someone else? What do you do in your own relationships to make sure they survive the distance?

How to Harmonize Your Work/Life Balance

August 11, 2011 by Guest Contributor

This post is by Jesse Langley.

Maintaining a healthy balance between your work and personal life can be difficult. Modern office workers can have an especially tough time with this because work can often occupy a sort of no man’s land between the two.

When you begin taking work home with you, the line between recreation and work begins to blur. Taking occasional breaks from the laptop and the television can actually improve your work performance and help keep you sane.

Unplug more often

It’s easy to lose track of how much time you’re spending online. We typically spend a large chunk of our day in front of the computer only to get home and fire up the laptop again.

The next thing you know, the evening has flown by and you’ve spent most of your day at a computer. Facebook newsfeeds, CNN, and BBC apps giving you updates on your iPad while you’re working on your laptop can easily take over your free time.

Setting aside some technology-free time can help you detox from the constant barrage of email and social media status updates.

When we’re not careful, heavy social media use could be impacting us in other ways as well. The tendency to tweet and post Facebook status updates constantly often causes us to be less than perfectly thoughtful about how and what we’re communicating.

Researchers suspect that heavy texting can change the way that some high school students process and deliver information when engaging in writing assignments. Communicating only through brief tweets and status updates may result in more difficulty expressing complex thoughts and ideas when writing.

What to do with your new-found free time

As I began to take more work home, my personal recreational activities started to suffer. I had previously been a heavy reader and always ran at least three times a week. But as I spent more time with my laptop and iPad, I read and ran with less regularity until finally I was doing neither.

But more time spent working doesn’t always equal better work efficiency. Stepping away from your desk and going out for a brisk run does more than simply burn calories and keep you in shape. Exercise elevates endorphins in the brain and enhances a sense of well-being and positive outlook on life. This can translate into better work performance and task execution.

Reading works in several ways to benefit your work life as well. In addition to being a great way to discover new ideas and perspectives, reading also doesn’t turn the reader into a passive recipient of information like watching television tends to do. Reading a good book is often the exact opposite of our multi-tasking methods of modern work. Being able to focus on one thing completely is relaxing and rejuvenating. Reading frequently helps me get back to developing thoughts more thoroughly and working with fewer distractions when I get back to work.

Schedule your reading and exercise breaks

If you don’t make a point of scheduling time for your exercise and reading you’re likely to procrastinate or end up skipping it entirely. Be sure to start slow and ratchet things up as you get into a good routine. Exercise at least three times a week if you can manage it. Find a form of exercise that you enjoy and you’ll be more likely to stick with it.

The same goes for reading. It doesn’t matter as much what you read, just that you’re reading. It doesn’t have to be highbrow literature to be beneficial. Try to find an hour a day to read. Once you’ve incorporated an exercise and reading routine into your daily activities you’ll likely feel that your life is a little better balanced.

Jesse Langley lives near Chicago. He divides his time among work, writing and family life. He has a keen interest in blogging and social media and is an advocate for online training he also writes for www.professionalintern.com.

Why I Love … Chocolate

August 10, 2011 by Guest Contributor

This post is by Jules Clancy of Stonesoup.

Growing up I was more a vanilla or caramel fan. Chocolate didn’t really do much for me, especially when it came to ice cream flavours.

Over the years I did learn to enjoy the odd square here and there. But in general I was more the type of person who gets excited about the cheese course, rather than planning my meal around something gooey and chocolatey.

Then I landed a job designing chocolate biscuits for Australia’s largest biscuit company.

My friends were very jealous. The words “dream job” were bandied about quite a bit.

I wasn’t that excited.

I knew it was going to be kind of fun. But I didn’t realise just how much it was going to change my relationship with chocolate.

You know the old saying that if you’re not excited about something, just dig deeper and learn more about it and soon you’ll be loving it?

Image is author's own

Well that was what happened with me and chocolate.

So if you’re struggling to find something to love about chocolate, here are some tips to expand your knowledge and foster a little (more) chocolate love.

Chocolate isn’t naturally sweet

The first time I visited the place where the company I was working for made their own chocolate, was blown away by the massive blocks, about half my height, of what looked like chocolate. And then someone suggested I taste a little bit.

Extremely bitter and almost nothing like the chocolate that you and I know and love, I couldn’t believe I’d been tricked. What I was actually tasting was cocoa mass which is produced from fermented and crushed up cocoa beans. Chocolate manufacturers add sugar (and for milk chocolate some milk powder) to the cocoa mass to make chocolate.

If you ever come across a 99% cocoa chocolate, give it a try. You probably won’t like it that much but it will give you an idea of what chocolate tastes like without the sugar.

Chocolate, like wine, tastes different depending on where it was grown

I used to think that chocolate was chocolate. But after being lucky enough to try different chocolates from around the world, I’ve learned that chocolate made from beans grown in Ecuador will taste completely different to a chocolate made with beans from Ghana.

Good quality chocolate producers are beginning to label their chocolate with the origin of the beans. So you to can explore the different chocolates from around the world.

Chocolate is a delicate flower

When cocoa butter or chocolate cools and solidifies, there are a number of different crystal structures that the fat particles can form. Unfortunately for chocolate manufacturers only one of these types of crystal is stable and give the lovely shine and “snap” characteristic of good quality chocolate. If you’re making chocolates it’s important to use a process called “tempering” to make sure the chocolate forms the right type of crystals.

If you’ve ever come across chocolate that looked like it had a white-ish dust or mold growth on the outside, this is called chocolate “bloom.” It’s a sign that either it wasn’t tempered correctly in the beginning, has been exposed to high temperatures at some stage, or is getting old. Don’t be alarmed, it’s just cocoa butter in the wrong crystal structure. It won’t hurt you to eat it.

Cocoa powder is just cocoa beans with most of the fat removed

Before I actually worked with chocolate, I’d always considered anything made with cocoa powder to be inferior to products made with real chocolate. But the thing is, all the flavour is in the cocoa powder part and the cocoa butter (or fat) is pretty bland. The cocoa butter provides that lovely melt in the mouth texture and that’s about it.

So if you have a cake or a brownie where the texture is coming from the butter and flour and sugar, adding a good quality cocoa powder to get your chocolate flavour isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It’s just a matter of getting a good quality cocoa.

Chocolate contains antioxidants

Chocolate contains antioxidants such as phenolics and flavanoids which can be beneficial to our health. One study has shown that cocoa has a higher antioxidant capacity than green tea and red wine. Different chocolates and cocoas contain different levels of antioxidants, however, so best to choose higher quality chocolates and natural cocoa powders which haven’t been ‘alkalised’ (treated with alkali to change the colour).

Not all chocolate is created equal

Different chocolates are made with different amounts of cocoa solids. Generally, cocoa is the most expensive ingredient, so some manufacturers will try and bulk out the chocolate with more sugar (and for milk chocolates more milk powder).

The best way to tell the quality level of a chocolate is to look at the % cocoa solids claimed on the packaging. Generally the higher the number the better the quality.

Although, once you go above 70% cocoa solids, there is less sugar to balance the bitterness of the cocoa so you may find it too intense. It’s a matter of personal preference. I know people who swear by 99% cocoa chocolate which is pretty much sugar free. Personally I like something a bit less austere and tend to enjoy my chocolate in the 65-70% cocoa solids range.

Why not buy a few different chocolates and have your own tasting to figure out what works best for you and your guests?

Little flourless chocolate cakes

Serves 2

It’s a great cake to have in your repertoire because it will work for gluten intolerant people. If you needed to make it dairy free, you could easily replace the butter with vegetable oil. In terms of sugar, I’ve used both white and brown, and either is fine.

These are among those cakes that rise to lofty heights during baking then sink miserably as they cool. The first time I made them I was a little depressed how they looked, but I just turned them upside down and the looked rather lovely. Of course once you taste them, any negative thoughts will be banished all together. When I made them the other day for the photographs, I decided to make the most of the sink hole and fill it with double cream – so good.

If you don’t have a food processor, just melt the chocolate and butter in your preferred way and stir through the sugar and egg yolk and then proceed to step 4.

50g (1 3/4oz) dark chocolate (preferably 70% cocoa solids)
40g (1 1/2oz) brown sugar
40g (1 1/2oz) butter
1 egg, separated
cream or ice cream, to serve

Place a baking sheet or tray on the middle shelf of your oven. Preheat to 180C (350F). Grease and line the bases of 2 x 1 cup capacity ramekins.
Whizz chocolate and sugar in a food processor until you have coarse crumbs.
Add butter, egg yolk and 2 tablespoons boiling water and whizz for another few seconds, until well combined.
Whisk egg white with a pinch of salt in a clean, dry bowl.
Gently fold chocolate mixture into the white foam until only just combined.
Divide mixture gently between the prepared ramekins. Bake for 15 – 20 minutes or until the tops feel firm when touched with your finger.
Allow to cool then serve with cream or ice cream.

Jules Clancy loves food and wine so much she has science degrees in both. She is the author of the eCookbook 5 Ingredients | 10 Minutes and blogs about delicious, healthy meals that can be made in minutes over at Stonesoup.

How to Make Time for What Really Matters to You

August 9, 2011 by Guest Contributor

This post is by Ali Luke of AliVentures.

Do you ever wish you had just a bit more time for yourself?

Perhaps you’ve got a project you’d love to finish. It could be anything— writing your novel, creating a website, designing a Flash game, making a rug—so long as it’s important to you.

The problem is, whenever life gets busy, your project gets shunted aside—and at the rate you’re going, it looks like you’re never going to finish.

Or maybe you have a particular hobby or interest: surfing, golf, knitting, video games, fencing, cooking … something that you really enjoy. You just never seem to have time for it.

What can you do?

Realize that it’s important

Your big project or much-loved hobby might seem unimportant. After all, you’ve got work, chores, family, friends, commitments…

Plus, the folks around you might not get what it is you want to do. I’m a writer, and trust me, I know that sitting down to write several thousand words a day is not most people’s idea of a good time!

However frivolous, geeky, weird, or dull your project or hobby might seem to other people, it still matters to you.

It’s important.

You have the right to do what you love for at least a few hours each week.

And you’ll find that when you do make time for what really, truly matters to you, you’ll be a happier person. If you get just a couple of hours at the weekend to relax with your knitting or to focus on your new website, you’ll have more energy for the rest of your life.

So, how exactly do you go about finding the time?

Join a course or group

When you belong to a course or group that meets regularly, you’re almost certainly going to find the time. A fixed appointment in your diary is much easier to keep than a vague commitment to “play golf sometime this month.”

A course with teaching, assignments and deadlines can be a great way to take things to the next level—plus it helps show your family and friends that you’re serious.

A group of like-minded people, whether locally or online, can be incredibly encouraging. Simply being around others who value writing/cooking/games etc. is motivating – and members of the group may well help keep you accountable.

Find your best time of day

Some projects require a lot of concentration and energy: anything creative, for instance (like writing, designing, composing) or anything that’s quite academic (like studying for a new qualification).

If you’re working on a project like that, it’s crucial to find a time of day when you’re naturally focused and energized. For me, it’s mornings: I try to do the bulk of my writing between 8am and 11am. For you, it could be early evening, or late at night when the rest of the household are asleep.

Even with an “easy” hobby, you’ll want to find a time of day that works well. You might need space to spread out your art materials on the kitchen table (not ideal if your partner is trying to cook) or you might need quiet (not ideal if your kids are running around screaming).

Deliberately set aside time

Don’t wait for free time to suddenly appear: it won’t. Your life is already full—even if some of the things filling it are “watching TV” and “surfing the net”. You might need to cut something out in order to make more time for what you really want to do.

One of the easiest—and most powerful—ways to find time is to deliberately set it aside. This is easiest when you look a week or two ahead in your diary: you’ve probably got a free evening next week or a few hours at the weekend that you could spend on your project or hobby.

If you don’t set the time aside, you’re just going to fill up your life with all the usual things. So grab your diary now, and look for just two hours this week that you could spend on you.

It’s not selfish, and it’s definitely not pointless.

And you never know what two hours this week could lead to…

Ali Luke used to commit a couple of hours a week to her writing—and now she makes her living as a writer and writing coach. If you’d like to finally get your blog going or write that novel you’ve been daydreaming about, check out her free mini-ebook How to Find Time for Your Writing.

FeelGooder Asks: What Makes You Nervous?

August 5, 2011 by georgina

I’m always surprised by the number of articles—and writers—who focus on fear. It’s not that I’m not fearful; it’s just that I’m surprised that so many of us have fears we know about, yet struggle—really struggle—to overcome. To me, fear seems like part of the human condition. And the only answer to fear is to take the plunge—something which, for many of us, is untenable.

All this made me wonder how you feel about fear.

What makes you nervous? And how do you handle it?

Am I welcome here? Who knows?!

Something that makes me nervous is meeting a new group that I have to work with. As a freelancer, I often have new clients—and that’s no problem. But when I have to go on site and fit in with a team, I get nervous. Even though I love doing it. Weird.

The ways I “handle” it are at once typical—nail-biting, the racing heart, etc.—and a little less likely.

I don’t really get past the nervousness until I feel like I fit in, and to do that, I need to have colleagues I can joke around with—people who appreciate my sense of humor. I’ll be honest: there are places where my sense of humor simply does not fly. And I’ve worked in them.

So I spend my first few days at a new location trying my humor on with people, until I work out who gets it (whence hilarity ensues) and who doesn’t. Once that’s settled, I can ditch the nervousness because I know that, at least in some quarters, I belong.

That’s me. So what makes you nervous? And how do you handle or manage that nervousness? I’d love to hear your stories in the comments.

Ten Ways to Get to Know Your Family Better

August 4, 2011 by Guest Contributor

This post is by Eric Speir of www.ericspeir.com.

Have you ever noticed that the older you get the more time seems to fly? In fact, when you add children into the mix our time seems to spiral out of control. We are staying busier as families but one of the downsides to this is that we often lose quality time with our children. I’m reminded of a time of when I was in college when this thought was driven home into my life.

While in college I was required to take a class on marriage and family. To be honest, I can’t remember a word the professor said that semester except for one simple statement. He warned all of us, “If you don’t love on your children, then someone else will.” I’ve never forgotten that statement. It has stuck with me ever since.

As parents we need all the help that we can get. It’s easy to beat ourselves over the head because we cannot do more for our children. You cannot give your children everything so why not use what you have and quit living in regret? Living in regret does not accomplish much except for make us miserable and make us feel like failures as parents.

One of the best ways to be a good parent is by simply being there for your children. We have somehow bought into the idea that our children demand more “things” from us, but what they really need from us is our time! Someone once said, “Children spell love as t-i-m-e.

There is not much that we can do to change the pace of our lives, but what if we could use the time that we have more wisely? What are some practical things that we could do to make the best of our time with our children?

Here are some practical ideas to get you started:

1. Be home when you’re at home

When you are home with your family intentionally spend time with them and avoid multi-tasking with family and work.

2. Put your iphone or Blackberry on silent or leave it in your home office

As adults I think that we are too connected to our offices. My wife reminds me that a ringing phone is only an invitation! We don’t have to answer it every time that it rings.

3. Cut off the television and play a game with your children

The television has become the family babysitter of choice. The television is cheap and is always available.

4. Force yourself to keep eye contact with your spouse or children

When someone in your family is talking to you put down the newspaper, laptop or ipad and focus on what they are saying.

5. Have a family night every week

My family and I try to take every Thursday night as a family night. We eat dinner together as a family and we participate in an activity together. It could mean watching a DVD movie, playing a game, riding bikes together or anything that your family enjoys doing. If you can’t do it every week then start having one a month. Just start somewhere!

6. Take your children on “dates”

I have two girls at home and I try to take them on “Daddy Dates.” I might take one for breakfast and the other to get an ice cream cone. They don’t seem to care what we do as long as we are together. On these dates I get to spend some one-on-one time with them and I get to focus my attention on them. The good thing about these dates is that I get to teach my children what a “good” date looks like before they start dating. I don’t leave dating for chance!

7. Write them personal notes

Handwrite a little note and tell your spouse or child how much you love and appreciate them. Everyone likes to be encouraged and told how special they are. (This is free too!)

8. Buy them a small gift

You would be surprised what you can get for a dollar at the dollar store. Children enjoy small gifts and it really is the thought that counts!

9. Go dark on the weekends

Try going a whole weekend without getting on your laptop or checking your email. You will be surprised as to how much time you have.

10. Start making new family traditions

Try “Pancake Saturday”, “Movie Friday”, “Sunday Brunch”, or anything else that you would like to start. The reason that you remember family traditions is because they made good memories for you.

Remember, you don’t always have to spend money to make a memory! Many of the ideas on this list cost little to no money at all. Again, the whole point is that you find creative ways to spend quality time with your family.

What other ideas can you add to this list?

Eric Speir is a pastor, life coach, educator and blogger. He is passionate about leadership, coaching and writing. He likes to use biblical principles, coaching, practical wisdom and encouragement to help others to thrive in every area of their life. You can read more of his posts at www.ericspeir.com.

Challenge Your Body: Homemade Bootcamp

August 3, 2011 by Lisa Johnson

As I write this, I’m sitting in the mountains of British Columbia overlooking a crystal-clear lake. The stars at night are so riotous that they absolutely take my breath away.

It sounds idyllic, and it is, but I’m also pretty darned sore from my fourth day of hiking, yoga, weight training, and cardio. I’m at a hiking bootcamp and thoroughly enjoying the experience of having my butt kicked, royally, by a whole team of people who have an ever-so-slightly sadistic glint in their eyes. (Or maybe I’m just imagining that…)

Sometimes we’ve been doing the same fitness routines for so long that we need to do something, anything, to shake things up. I’m here today to suggest a bootcamp—and you can design your own at home.

This will require some prep work. You’ll need permission from family members to shift your schedule for the bootcamp. Even better, have them join you. You’ll need food prep, and perhaps some fitness or exercise gear. Maybe even a spiffy new pair of tennies to give you a little extra motivation. Plan for just a week of time.

Also, you need to decide how you’re going to bootcamp. Yes, there is the traditional calisthenics in cammo gear in the backyard, but you could also…

Design a program with a personal trainer for free weights and cardio.
Work with gym staff to use a variety of their equipment and group classes to hit the gym hard.
Do a Pilates or Yoga bootcamp where you go in every day for sweat, toning, and relaxation.
Head for the hills and hike like a maniac (I’ll have lots of empathy for you…).
Take a one-week membership to a boxing club. There’s nothing like skipping rope and thumping objects to torch calories.
Whatever else your heart can dream up that involves a lot of moving and a lot of sweat.

When you’ve mapped out a plan, make sure that it’s safe for you to do. The goal is not to end the week with a trip to the emergency room at the local hospital. If you need to check with a doctor, please check with a doctor.

Then, set a date, get excited, get your family and friends excited, and go! Like a horse out of the gate, go for it with gusto, with the fun of adventure, with the thrill to see if you can really do this after all.

Feel yourself overcoming a little fear, and perhaps some sore muscles, and dig deep for the gumption you’ll need to succeed and surprise your family, friends, and yourself.

Sounds exhilarating doesn’t it? It is … trust me, it totally is.

Have you ever tried a week long intense bootcamp of some sort? Does this post inspire you to try one now? Let me know what you’re planning and I can point you to websites and give you some advice if you need it.