How to Help Out—and Feel Good!—This Fall

Cooler weather often makes us want to batten down the hatches and hibernate. But this is a great time of year to get involved in some of the global initiatives that are likely to be recognized somehow in your local area.

Help out

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There’s a very full list on Wikipedia, but these are our favorites.

International literacy day: September 8

This UN-endorsed initiative aims to promote literacy around the world. Ask at your local library (or even bookstore!) to find out how you can help celebrate.

Suicide prevention day: September 10

This year’s theme for the WHO-endorsed Suicide Prevention Day is Preventing Suicide in Multicultural Societies. The Wikipedia page provides a wealth of ideas for those who want to help raise awareness of—and help prevent—suicide. Perhaps you could put one of these into action in your community?

International talk like a pirate day: September 19

Who doesn’t get a kick out of talking like a pirate?! Talk like a pirate day is a good excuse to throw a party, wear an eye patch, and address strangers as “me hearties”. Also: studies have shown that talking like a pirate makes you feel good. Okay, maybe we made that up. But this is still one to mark in the diary.

World habitat day: October 3

This UN-supported day recognizes the importance of habitat globally. This year’s theme is Cities and Climate Change, so if you live in a city, you may have a Habitat Day event on your doorstep! Check with your local council or environment groups for details.

World animal day: October 4

World animal day is a great opportunity for animal lovers to come together to celebrate animals. The initiative’s website has a handy search that will tell you about registered events happening in your area—and lets you add your own!

International men’s day: November 19

This event aims to “promote positive aspects of male identity based on the premise that ‘males of all ages respond more energetically to positive role models than they do to negative gender stereotyping.'” Accordingly, the 2011 theme is Giving Boys the Best Possible Start in Life. Get involved! Your local council, schools, or community groups will likely have information on events in your area.

World hello day: November 21

“Greet ten people for peace,” says World Hello Day, which has been going for 39 years. This is one celebration that’s easy to participate in: the aim is to greet ten people on this day, in recognition of the importance of communication in achieving peace. Don’t be shy: say hello!

Don’t forget to check out the complete list—there are plenty of days of recognition, so whatever your passion, there’s bound to be something you can get behind.

Have you thought about getting more involved in your community—local or global—this Fall? Share your plans in the comments.

FeelGooder Asks: What Are Your Plans this Fall?

Down here in the southern hemisphere, we’re now enjoying a few warmer days as Spring hints at its own arrival. Hooray!

Fall

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But for those in northern climes, the picture’s looking a little cooler. Fall is fast approaching, and with the change in season comes a chance to refresh, repair, and reinvigorate … that is, if you’re into that kind of thing.

Here at FeelGooder, we most certainly are! Next week, we’re falling head over heels for Fall: every day, we’ll look at a different aspect of life through Fall-colored spectacles, and hopefully inspire you with a few ways to make the most of the season. Think: Fall recipes, a winter holiday savings plan … even a fresh Fall fitness regime!

But first, we’re curious: what do you have on the cards this Fall? Any plans? Adventures? Hopes? Ambitions? Let us know how your Fall’s looking in the comments!

Why Smiling Makes You Feel Better

This post is by Jean Compton of jeancompton.com.

“Smile when your heart is aching, smile even though it’s breaking…” You’ve probably heard the song “Smile” made famous by singer Nat King Cole. But did you know that the music was composed by actor/director Charlie Chaplin? He used the melody in the soundtrack to his epic film, Modern Times. Through the years, The Little Tramp and his films have taught us a thing or two about smiling. But, did you know the following facts?

Smiling

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It takes more muscles to frown than smile

There is some controversy about this. Some researchers actually think the opposite is true. But, however you look at it even if smiling does take more effort, doesn’t that bit more “muscle” make the effort worthwhile? 

What babies can teach us

Babies don’t start actually smiling before two to six months of age. Sometimes smiling can be so intense for babies that they have to look away. But don’t get discouraged because in a moment they’ll look back. And, when they look back make sure you’re still smiling as the engagement will teaches them—and us—that it’s a good thing to do!

Smiling makes you more attractive

When you smile at someone, it’s infectious—kind of like yawning. Have you noticed, that someone is much more likely to smile back when you smile at them? You know the saying, “Smile and the whole world smiles with you?” They say that for a reason. You want to pull people closer—not push them away.

Sometimes you just don’t feel like smiling

If you’re having one of those days, you can actually trick yourself into feeling better. If you make yourself smile, it may feel false at first, but something about turning the corners of your mouth up instead of down will actually start to make you feel better. Then you can turn what might have been a down day into a groovy, “up” one.

The eyes have it

Know how to tell if someone is fake smiling or genuinely smiling? Look at their eyes. If the eyes aren’t smiling, then you know it’s a phony look. Catch yourself when you do this. Don’t be a phoney baloney.

You’re wearing it

You know when someone is stressed right away as it always shows up on their face. Take time to put on a smile. Pretty soon you’ll be feeling less stressed and more productive.

To your health

Some believe that optimism improves the immune system. So being relaxed can help you ward off diseases such as colds and flu.

The “low”-down

Test the effectiveness of your smile. Try this if you have high blood pressure. Sit for a few moments. Take a blood pressure reading. Then smile and while still smiling, take another reading. You’ll be surprised at the results!

You’re so vain

Smiling makes you look younger! Frowning definitely ages you. You can take years off your face by not going under the knife but rather going into the frown-free zone.

As you can see, the life-affirming effects of smiling are numerous. So, learn from the music in The Little Tramp’s song. Sometimes it’s hard to smile. But, like the song says, “That’s the time you must keep on trying…” It’s so much more worthwhile … if you smile.

Want to learn proven relaxation tips from someone with over 20 years experience? Want to de-stress and change your life?  Visit Jean over at http://jeancompton.com/ for more insightful posts.

When Life Gives You Lemons…

This post is by Jim Nelson of LiveWorkDream.com.

As trite as it may sound, when life throws lemons at you the best thing you can do really is to make lemonade. I suggest adding sugar, and enjoying every last sip.

We were living the entrepreneurial dream. In 1998 my wife and I escaped the rat race and left lucrative Silicon Valley jobs to start our own home-based graphic design firm in the rural coastal town of Eureka, CA. By 2006 we had grown our business to include Fortune 500 clients, expanded into a 3700 sq. ft. Victorian home office, developed an online storefront, and outfitted a full-service large format graphic production studio. We were making good money and enjoying the success we had built for ourselves. Then our dog got cancer.

Jerry and us

The author and his wife with their dog Jerry on the road in South Carolina

Jerry was our Chief Fun Officer. He kept us sane during the endless hours we worked, and he was always there for us when the stress of dealing with clients, color correction, inventory, and overhead got to be too much. It was our turn to pay him back for his years of dedication and selfless service. After proceeding with an amputation to remove the tumor growing in his shoulder, and being given a prognosis of four to six months, we took a serious look at our situation and wondered what we might do to make the most of the remaining time we had together.

Our little venture was at a point where we seriously needed to hire sales and production help. We were in debt up to our elbows and over our heads in work. The last ten years had flown by as we slaved away. We had always dreamed of traveling the country, and we knew Jerry was always up for an adventure. So we quickly made plans to sell the business, our home, and nearly everything we owned.

I created our Live Work Dream blog initially as a marketing tool to promote the sale of our ideal live/work opportunity. In a matter of months we were training the new owner and waiting to hit the road in our new fifth wheel trailer. Although doctors told us Jerry had only a few months to live, we spent the next two years exploring the country together as a pack. From the Badlands to the Mississppi headwaters, from the Atlantic coast in Maine to the Gulf of Mexico, Jerry taught us to make the most out of life.

Along the way, we investigated potential business opportunities while searching for land where Jerry could spend his final days. Our furry zen master didn’t quite make it to see the Colorado mountain home we call Jerry’s Acres. But he inspired the business that turned out to be right under our noses the whole time. We continue to maintain the largest online community for three legged dogs from the road when we head south for the winter every year with our new three legged dog Wyatt.

I share this story not to brag, but rather to encourage anyone with a dream to follow it, and to offer hope for anyone facing adversity. Our bittersweet journey with Jerry is just one example of how to make lemonade. Hopefully the following ideas I learned as my life changed course ‚Äì for the better ‚Äì might help others who feel like they’re being buried alive in lemons.

How to Follow Your Dreams

Make a plan

Figure out what you want and determine the steps required to get it. Write down a detailed plan of attack with action items, budget considerations and deadlines. Make a dream board complete with pictures, news clippings and other items reminding you of your goal.

Forget about stuff

Stop focusing on money. Focus on your passion instead. By releasing your attachment to material possessions, you can more freely work toward the end instead of the means.

Think from the end

As personal growth expert and self help guru Dr. Wayne Dyer suggests, see yourself where you want to be. If you want something, envision yourself already having it. See it, breathe it, feel it. Above all, Believe it.

Stop “shoulding” on yourself

“I should be making more money.” “I should have what I want by now.” “I should have done things differently.” These are detrimental thoughts that will only keep you from reaching your goal. Instead, focus on your intention and reframe your thoughts to be more positive.

“When you realize there is nothing lacking the whole world belongs to you.” -Lao Tzu

Change your perception about stability

Don’t fall for the false security of societal norms, and pay no attention to those who may think you’re crazy. Realize you have the power within yourself to succeed at whatever you wish. When overwhelmed with thoughts of “what if” forget what and tell if to take a hike.

Never underestimate the power of coincidence

Coincidences are the universe telling you to pay attention. Ask yourself what they mean, and follow their lead. Example: When we decided to buy a trailer, we realized we would need a new truck. Within a week we were hit by a red light runner who totalled our small pickup. The time had clearly come to buy that Dodge Ram we’d been eyeing.

Seek inspiration

Get to know others who have done what you want to do. In addition to reading a few books that inspired us, we took our research a step further. We contacted and spent time with the author of one, a 70-year-old man who had recently completed his second solo trip around the world by motorcycle. His inspiration helped us believe in our adventure and our friendship continues today.

Don’t forget to smell the roses

Above all, be present. Be aware. Take the time away from chasing your dream to consider one of the most important lessons we learned from Jerry: that every day is a great day, no matter what life throws your way.

Jim Nelson and his wife Rene are freelance creatives and writers who blog about the lifestyle they have designed for themselves at LiveWorkDream.com. Jerry’s legacy lives on in the Tripawds three legged dog blogs and canine cancer discussion forums.

How Health and Wealth Are Tied

This post is by Andrea Travillian of Take a Smart Step.

Do you feel like you are constantly trying to work on your money and your health?  Like no matter what you do, they seem to be the exact same problems that keep appearing over and over again?  You can’t pay off your debt; you can’t lose that last ten pounds…

What if I told you this was happening because your money is the root problem?  When you are in debt and struggling with money, it affects your health.  Higher stress levels can lead to more health issues—high blood pressure, insomnia, weakened immune system—all of which affect your weight.

health and wealth

Health and wealth. Image used with permission.

Because of all this stress, you eat out more; you buy more diet products—anything that will help relieve the stress.  What it ends up doing is adding more debt, more weight, and more stress.

So how can you go about stopping the cycle and changing that?

1. Ignore the weight

To start with, just maintain your health. I know this is counterintuitive, but you need to reduce stress somewhere if you are to be able to gain traction in one area. By not working on two stressful items at one time, you free up more energy to work on the money.

Please note, I didn’t say “stop being healthy”—just stop trying to take off that last ten, 20, or 30 pounds. Continue what you were doing, but no more pushing.  Maintain.

2. List your debt

Now we can focus all of our energy on paying off debt.  The first step is to write down all of your debts in one spot.  It does not matter if it is on paper, in Excel, or in a text file—just write it down.  This lets you see what you need to work on.  Keep the list handy, and post it in a place where you will be able to keep tabs on it.

3. Build a budget

Please don’t stop reading! I know our eyes tend to glaze over when the word “budget” comes up, but it really is helpful!  Why?  Because when you budget you get to see where your overspending is coming from.  Then you can actually create a plan to tackle those expenses thus freeing up money for paying off your debt.  Without this step you have no idea how you are doing or where you have problems. You are playing darts in the dark without a budget.

4. Start paying extra on your debt

Now you get to take that money you uncovered with your budget and start paying off your debts.  Which debt first?  I personally don’t think it matters—go for the highest interest rate, lowest balance, most hated company, or whatever suits you.  The key is that you are paying it off and making progress, not that you are doing it in the perfect order.  I do recommend that you make all your extra money payments to one debt of your choosing and nock it out, versus trying to do a little bit on each debt.  This gives you more traction by making your minimum payments smaller and smaller.

5. Rinse and repeat

This step here is the important one, just like you keep getting up every day and working out you need to re-list, re-budget and keeping paying down debt over and over again.  If you stop after a month you will have made no progress.  You need to do each phase over again as your situation changes. Every month is different, and every time you make a payment your amounts go down. When you pay off a debt, you need to pick a new one to pay on.  The process is not static, so you need to keep moving on it.

Before you know it, your debt will be gone.  Gone with it will be the stress that it caused.  This is when your health can really take off! With the extra stress gone you can refocus on your fitness and finally lose that last ten pounds.

Andrea Travillian writes the blog Take a Smart Step which helps you untangle your money mess so you can create financial freedom. You can follow her on Twitter or Facebook @smartstep or facebook or sign up for her RSS feed (Or do them all to be extra money savvy)!

FeelGooder Asks: What’s Your Philosophy of Change?

Yesterday it was announced that Apple CEO Steve Jobs had resigned. For lovers of technology, the announcement raised many questions: What would this mean? Was Jobs okay? Where was Apple headed now? Remember when you bought your first Newton?

These are the kinds of questions most of us ask when we’re faced with big and unexpected change: we might panic, worry, hypothesize, and reminisce about the good things we believe the change has brought an end to.

change

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But aside from these responses, we all have our own ways of handling change. So I thought I’d ask you…

What’s your philosophy of change?

In a nutshell, I think I’d sum up my philosophy as “go with it.” To my mind, we can’t unchange something, so we might as well start looking at what’s new—at what the change has left us with, and offers—with as much of an open mind as we can muster.

Some changes are easier to deal with than others, and whether it takes a moment or months, we all need time to get our heads around changes in our lives. But in the process of understanding even negative changes, I find that positive aspects usually appear. Maybe they’re just aspects that my brain chooses to view positively, but in any case, they make change easier to run with.

Once I was made redundant in a mass-layoff situation. The woman sitting beside me in the staff meeting started to cry. But I was smiling. I’d just lost the best-paid job I’d ever had. I’d have to find a new way to pay my rent. I liked my colleagues, and the company was a prestigious one. But I hadn’t exactly loved working there, and now I was free. The world was my oyster. What would I do next? Not knowing was part of the adventure…

This philosophy also makes it very easy to initiate change myself, rather than waiting for it to be kicked off by external forces. If change is the hallmark of adventure, how can I possibly say no to it?

What’s your philosophy of change? I’d love to hear how you handle it in the comments.

Adventures in Chronic Illness: What to Pack for the Journey

This post is by Heather Gaskill of whereapy.

There are so many things that most of us take for granted, and one of the most basic is our health.

Particularly when we’re young, the thought never really occurs to us that one day we’ll wake up with a set of symptoms that prevent us from performing the basic activities that carry us through life, those that the people around us can do relatively effortlessly.

illness

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Just the experience of getting really sick is terrifying and traumatic; the feeling that your body is attacking itself for no apparent reason is bad enough, but being told that the condition is permanent is something else altogether. It’s like waking up in an awful new environment and being told “you live here now.”

 

If I could use one word to describe my experience of chronic illness, it would be “struggle.” I’d love to say that now, five years after having been diagnosed with Crohn’s, a form of inflammatory bowel disease, I had achieved “peace” with the situation, “accepted” it, as I’ve been advised to do, or found some great deeper meaning from it that made me appreciate the experience.

Don’t get me wrong—I feel like I’ve grown and learned things that would have been otherwise out of reach for me, and feel proud of how I’ve coped with and responded to my disease. However, if I was standing at a crossroads, and one path said “Crohn’s,” I’d take the other path.

The real rub of being sick for me has been figuring out how to cope after having found myself here, on the path that I would never have chosen. Initial diagnosis, given that it often follows a health crisis and many intrusive (and with bowel disease, very unpleasant and embarrassing) diagnostic tests, gets a lot of attention, but it’s really just the beginning of the story.

For me, the mental and emotional aspects of chronic illness have matched the difficulty of the physical ones. It’s hard to get your head around the idea that you may never have the energy to do the things you could before you got sick, that you may just keep getting worse until surgery is the only option, and that the treatments offered to you carry potential side effects that rival the disease itself.

Chronic illness can feel so lonely and isolating, as we’re often surrounded with people who are sympathetic, but have no real concept of what the experience might be like.

Things that I’ve found helpful on the road so far…

1. Support

I’ve found that I need just as much now as I did when I was diagnosed. Please ignore anyone who responds to you in a way that communicates that you should be “over this” by now. I’ve found working with a therapist at different points along the way to be really helpful. A lot of conditions have support groups, forums on the internet, etc.—figure out what works for you and use it.

2. Information

Most of us start with what our doctors tell us about our condition, available treatments, and prognosis. What I’ve found is that there’s a lot more out there about my disease than I’ve been told by my physicians. Sorting through all of it can feel confusing and overwhelming, but the more you know about what others have experienced, possible alternative treatments, and ways to cope, the better equipped you’ll be for my third suggestion, which is….

3. An empowered approach to treatment

When I first got sick I did pretty much everything my doctors told me to do: often the options sounded awful and counterintuitive to me, but I was really scared, and they always threatened surgery or worse if I didn’t take their advice, leaving me feeling helpless, trapped, and out of control.

After a lot of research and trying many different things, I’ve arrived at an approach to managing my illness that I’m comfortable with. I’m aware that things could change causing me to have to refigure things, but at this point I feel equipped to make informed decisions that incorporate several therapeutic approaches, including the conventional system.

You’re the only one who can decide what approach is the best for you; having support and information are really key pieces in being able to carry this suggestion out.

Heather Gaskill has a Masters degree in Social Work and has worked as a trauma therapist, educator, researcher and hospital social worker. She is the content editor for Whereapy, a website that builds relationships between people seeking therapy and independent therapists.

Developing a Mindset for Social Good

This post is by Angela Irvin of Chrysalides.

Social Good, a term often used by organizations, refers to the ideals and actions that promote a greater benefit for society. In addition to being socially responsible for the societal and environmental effects of their products and services, many organizations become involved with social issues for which they provide philanthropic solutions.

However, we should be reminded that organizations are not inorganic entities; they are human collectives, comprised of individuals. Therefore, the foundation for social good actually starts with the individual.

joining hands

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The concept of social good goes beyond the idea of simple charity. It is an encompassing mindset that stems from an empathetic desire to improve the human condition. However, empathy alone will not lead to a mindset for social good, nor will it always compel an individual to take action.

There are several concepts that are common (and perhaps necessary) in the belief systems of people with a social good mindset.

Interconnectedness

Interconnectedness is a worldview that is rooted in Buddhist philosophy. It is the belief that everything on earth is interrelated, and nothing exists independent of relationships to other things.

A social good mindset embraces the understanding that a problem affecting one segment of society will ultimately affect the whole of society. We are also connected in the sense that each individual reflects the humanness of every other individual. This is the basis of empathy, which allows us to see ourselves in others.

Interconnectedness also applies to our surroundings. Humans are inextricably interdependent with the environment. Abuse of its resources, or disregard for the creatures that exist within it, triggers a domino effect that ultimately affects human life.

Assets vs. limitations

Consider the following quote:

“I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do.”—Edward Everett Hale

The key point is not to devalue ourselves by focusing on limitations. Instead, acknowledge the value of what we do have to offer. Even if limited financially, we have natural strengths and talents—which in themselves are valuable. Therefore, every person on earth has a charitable asset base.

The social good mindset is not deterred by limitations, because there is always an asset to offer. In other words, we should do what we can with what we have – and if we can’t do a lot, then do a little.

No action is too small

We don’t need give a grand performance in order to make a difference; small actions matter. Many people are deterred from acting due to the erroneous belief that their actions are too small to make a difference. However, it is important to think in terms of collective actions and understand that small actions contribute to a larger cause.

For example, if we visualize the vastness of an ocean, one act can be likened to a drop. However, though only a drop, each drop is a necessary component of the whole. Therefore, to understand the impact of a drop, simply imagine the outcome if there were no drops—the ocean would cease to exist.

The social good mindset is not concerned with the size of an act. In addition to the power of collective actions, we should remember that in the ocean, even a lone raindrop makes a ripple.

Spheres of influence

Whether we realize it or not, we influence the world on a daily basis. The social good mindset recognizes that regardless of occupation or social position, each of us is centered within a personal sphere of influence.

We’ve undoubtedly influenced many, even if only by sharing our experiences and insights. Kind actions tend to have a ripple effect, and we should keep in mind that our actions are often paid forward without us realizing it.

Internal locus of control

A high sense of internal control is vital to the social good mindset.

A person with an internal locus of control believes that success or failure is within their personal control and is determined by their skill and effort. By contrast, individuals with a high external locus of control believe that success or failure is determined by something outside of themselves, such as fate, luck, or powerful others.

In a recent study,* researchers compared the personality variables of Holocaust heroes (non-Jewish civilians who risked their lives to save others) to the traits of bystanders who offered no assistance. The study found that those who risked their lives to save persecuted neighbors had a higher sense of internal control than those who did not offer assistance. Additionally they found that those with an internal locus of control also possessed a stronger sense of social responsibility.

A person with a social good mindset believes they can accomplish great things through their own efforts, and they don’t wait for someone else to save the day.

Sense of purpose

The most important characteristic of the social good mindset is that it stems from a sense of purpose. Purpose is the primary motivation for the social good mindset. It shapes our thinking and guides our actions toward higher goals. When our purpose directs us toward social good, we become energized toward that pursuit. Therefore, we don’t look for reasons of why we can’t do something; we see only that we must do something.

Finally, the social good mindset doesn’t ponder the reasons for human existence, because it intuits the following answer:

“We’re here to put a dent in the universe. Otherwise why else even be here?”—Steve Jobs

How many of the listed characteristics and beliefs do you embrace in your own life? What other characteristics do you think are important?

*Reference: Midlarsky, E., Fagin Jones, S. and Corley, R. P. (2005), Personality Correlates of Heroic Rescue During the Holocaust. Journal of Personality, 73: 907–934

Angela Irvin is motivational blogger with a background in psychology and philosophy. Her writings stress the themes of thought-awareness, personal development, and purposeful living. She holds a degree in Health Administration and is currently pursuing an additional degree in Clinical Psychology. You can read more of her articles at her blog, Chrysalides, or in the Happiness Community on Wellsphere.com.

On “Fatherless Children”

Fatherless children have been getting a lot of bad press lately.

The British PM, David Cameron, blamed the London riots on a lack of solid male role models and has declared himself ready to “tackle fatherless children.”

In the increasingly-heated debate about same-sex marriage, the conservatives are holding up the same card, claiming children without fathers are much worse off.

This was most recently seen in the case of Australian Senator Penny Wong, who shared the happy news that she and her partner are expecting a baby, only to be met with vile comments from conservative religious groups about gay parents violating a baby’s “human rights” and saying that children “generally did best if raised by a mother and a father”—to mention a few.

Actually, they’re wrong.

A first-of-its-kind study from 2010 showed the exact opposite—two mothers equates to well-adjusted, better behaved, smart children. Sometimes moreso than in the traditional nuclear family model.

Regardless, words like those the above are not fair on single parents around the globe, who are doing their best to raise children on their own when there’s no option for a second parent to be involved.

I was raised by a single mother from the age of seven after my father died. I am not rioting in the streets. I am not suffering from behavioural issues and I was not a difficult teenager.

Children do not need fathers. Or mothers, for that matter. They need love. And the more of it they have, the better.

A family is what you make it.

My family was just us girls—my mother, my little sister, and me. We loved each other and looked out for each other.

My extended family—godparents, uncles, aunties, surrogate mothers, and fathers—all stepped in. I never felt alone. I never felt the need to rebel, and certainly never to set things on fire.

Rather than twist the research to serve prejudiced views, I think we can extrapolate a little further to say:

Children fare best when their parents take an active interest in their lives, when they feel supported, and are encouraged to flourish. It doesn’t matter who that comes from, so long as they are loved.

FeelGooder Asks: How Do You Stay Positive?

It’s been a wild few weeks. Between the US economy’s rollercoaster ride, Britain’s riots, and ongoing unrest in other countries, I can’t be the only one to wonder if the world’s gone mad.

How do you stay positive?

When we’re faced with—or living through—such difficult news, it can be hard to stay positive. We might be worried about newly laid-off friends, or fearing for the safety of loved ones caught up in the mayhem. We might log onto a news site and feel instantly overwhelmed. We might wonder where in heck things are heading.

UNHCR

The UNHCR homepage

Sometimes a balanced approach is a good way to handle those feelings. I try not to get too caught up in the news reports, the phone-cam-videos and real-time, on-the-ground reports—I reason that once I know what’s going on, there’s no real need to pore over every detail of the turmoil.

I also try to focus on the good I can do here and now, for the people I care about. That can help stave off the feelings of helplessness, and remind me not to take friends and family for granted. If I can, I’ll usually give to an appeal, like the UN Refugee agency’s Libya appeal, in the hopes that it might help someone I don’t know. We’re publishing a post next week that will discuss these kind of contributions in detail—keep an eye out for it.

Do you do similar things to stay positive in the face of such terrible news? I’d love to hear about your approach in the comments.