FeelGooder: Tips for Life

Moving In: Your How-to Guide

September 20, 2011 by Emma

Years ago, it used to be that you would get married before you moved in with your partner. Not so anymore, as people everywhere opt to “try before they buy” when it comes to living a deux.

Sure, it sounds like a sensible idea in theory—you know upfront if you’ll be compatible, not to mention the financial convenience of the arrangement—but studies have shown that it doesn’t always work that way in reality:

Psychology Today reports: “To help figure this out, let’s look at what research on living together might tell us. Well, most studies done from 1995 forward showed that couples that lived together before marriage had higher divorce rates as compared with couples that didn’t. Other findings included poorer mental and physical health, including depression, especially for women.

“One explanation for these findings is that the burden placed on women is not compensated for in a living together environment. Since women are known to do the lion’s share of housework, the thinking is that a woman would go from taking care of her own place to having to do the housework and other domestic errands in the two-person apartment or house that she shared with her boyfriend. All this extra work occurs without the benefit of the financial and emotional security that comes with the commitment of marriage.”

I moved in with a boyfriend once. We were both very excited about it—our new little apartment was fantastic. I was barely out of university, and finances were somewhat strained between my measly graduate salary and his fledgling business.

Things were a little tough. But then, they almost always are. The big mistake came when after only three months, he panicked and moved out. We broke up.

Then, when he was at a comfortable distance from me again (i.e. in a new house) he came asking if we could get back together.

The key here, in my opinion, is that we weren’t committed enough to making it work.

There are going to be potholes while you settle in to life together. I think it takes a good six months to iron out the kinks. If you’re not committed to making it through those obstacles, it’s all too easy to cut and run.

Let’s talk about how living together usually goes.

We aren’t always in the habit of talking seriously about moving in first. What is more common is that someone’s lease is up, or someone’s flatmate announces they’re moving overseas and there will be a forced change to the living situation. At this point, of course it makes sense to move in together. You’ve already been spending four nights a week together, someone is no doubt living out of the boot of their car and sick of it and not combining rent payments just seems crazy, right?

Decision made. The truck is hired and the co-habiting can commence.

First there’s the obligatory honeymoon phase: you rush home to cook dinner together and snuggle on the couch to watch movie marathons in your domestic bliss.

Then slowly, the glow fades and it’s all flannel pyjamas and wet tea bags on the sink. You argue about his ugly armchair, her stuffed toy collection, and whose turn it is to do the laundry.

It’s the harsh reality of living with another person, but with a little strategic foresight it doesn’t have to get out of hand. And: it does get better.

Learn to bend before you break

Battles over which way the toilet roll should hang and in what order the cutlery sits in the drawer aren’t massive, life-changing events.

Learn to adapt. Let the little things go so you can save your energy for the real arguments—like scrubbing the shower.

Have a proper discussion about finances

Sit down before you even move in together and come up with a solution for how you will manage your finances.

There is generally a spender and a saver in every relationship. Let the saver take charge of the finances. But the spender should also be very active in the planning and keep an eye on the books as well.

You may want to join your finances, or keep them separate and contribute to a shared pool. Either way, you need to work it out ahead of time to save the arguments—money is the biggest factor in most relationship arguments. For some handy tips on how to budget as a couple, take a look at this three-part series.

Get access the tools you need

Many couples have one thing they swear has been their “relationship saver”—dishwashers, a cleaner once a fortnight, a man cave. If you really are at a stalemate over a particular issue, think laterally to solve it.

Keep making an effort

I found when my now-husband and I moved in together (after we became engaged, as I had learned my lesson the first time) that we became an instant old, boring, married couple. It was suddenly waaay too easy to sit on the couch in our tracksuit pants every night watching mindless television. Dinners went from candlelight at the dining table to pasta in a bowl on our laps.

Keep making an effort with your partner at home. Schedule date nights, cook the occasional gourmet meal, and don’t change straight into your sloppy clothes as soon as you walk in the door.

A little effort goes a long way, and it is your spirit and attitude to living together that will get you through the hard times.

Any other words of wisdom from our readers when it comes to living together? What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned?

FeelGooder Asks: What Are You Doing That You Never Expected?

September 16, 2011 by georgina

Recently I saw an old colleague from overseas. After a few years in Australia, he’d left the company, and the country, to return home to the UK to be with his family.

That was a few years ago. He recently found himself out of work and, conveniently, an opportunity had opened up at the company we used to work for. Now he’s working for the old team again, but from his home country.

It’s funny how things work out: life is unpredictable. His return made me wonder:

What are you doing now that you never expected?

Many of us like to play down our own unpredictability, implying that our lives are dull and lack adventure. But I’ll bet you’re doing something right now that you’d never have expected.

Freelancing: my remote "office"

For me, it’s freelancing. I always thought I’d make a terrible freelancer—all that looking for work all the time, and having to manage clients. Bah! Who needed it when you could sit in a nice office, have the work fed to you, and get paid leave?

Freelancing was something to be done on the side, but not as a single source of income. No way.

Yet here I am, a self-supporting freelancer. How did that happen?

A combination of factors brought this about: restlessness, interest, dissatisfaction, and the appearance of gaps in aspects of my life that had previously been consistent. A number of small changes conspired until the best—if not only—way I could see to live the way I wanted to was to freelance.

The things that had put me off freelancing started to pale in comparison to the monotony of doing the same kind of work all the time. The challenges of job sourcing and client management provided a diversity of interaction that I loved. And then there was the freedom. Somehow, the thing I’d never expected to do seemed like a no-brainer.

What about you? What are you doing that you never expected?

Map Your Path to Nirvana

September 15, 2011 by Guest Contributor

This post is by Sarah Wagner Yost of sarahwagneryost.com.

The body is the clearest way there. It processes information much more quickly than the brain does. Because the body never lies, it is the most reliable divining rod we have. By listening to the yes/no signals bodies regularly dispense, you can get simple and trustworthy messages about how to manage your time, easily tell if your spouse is lying, and even know what and when to eat.

You don’t have to do yoga to get the message

Image by Randy Son of Robert, licensed under Creative Commons

Even if you feel more like a floating head than an integrated body whisperer, you can easily tune into what your body has to say. This exercise will demonstrate how clearly the body communicates.

Imagine doing something you really don’t like doing. Let that grow large in your imagination. Now, notice what you feel in your body. What do you feel in your chest? How about your stomach? Do you feel contracted or expanded? Can you tell if your energy feels fluid, heavy or spiky?

This is the way your body communicates to you that something doesn’t work for you. Martha Beck calls this state “Shackles on.”

Now, imagine someone for whom it’s very easy for you to love. Let that thought grow large in your imagination. Now, notice what you feel in your body. What do you feel in your chest? How about your stomach? Do you feel contracted or expanded? Can you tell if your energy feels fluid, heavy or spiky?

This is the way your body communicates to you that something does work for you. Martha Beck calls this state “Shackles off.”

Your to-do list

Consider several things you have to do over the next couple of days. Think about each item and notice if it feels contracted or expanded. If it feels contracted, don’t do it. Either scratch it off the list, change your thinking about it or ask someone else to do it.

Lie detector

Have you ever just known someone wasn’t telling you the truth but couldn’t prove it? Maybe there was no reason to believe they would lie because either the lie didn’t matter or they were generally trustworthy. Yet, you knew something wasn’t right. That’s because your body was processing subtle, quick signals from them that they weren’t being honest. Your brain didn’t believe it, but the body never lies. So, when your body contracted in the presence of their lie, it was signaling to you that you weren’t hearing the truth.

Diet

Try the body test with the food you eat. Next time you want to eat ice cream, notice if your body feels contracted or expanded at the idea of it. Do the same thing with traditionally “good” foods like fruits or vegetables. Notice how your body responds.

Have you ever listened to your body before? What has it directed you to do? Share your experience in the comments. I’d love to read them.

Sarah Wagner Yost is a mind-body life coach. She runs the Shiny Object School. If bright, shiny objects get in the way of getting your things finished, she can help. You can find her at www.sarahwagneryost.com. Working with her is better than Valium. Get her weekly action item to feel better fast here, friend her on Facebook and follow her on Twitter.

The Most Unnatural Way to Fight With Your Partner

September 14, 2011 by Guest Contributor

This guest post is by Dan Lippmann of danlippmann.com.

Does every squabble with your partner turn into a full fledged shouting match? Does your desire to vigorously defend yourself come second only to proving how wrong your partner is?

Her: “I thought you said you were going to take out the garbage.”
Him: “I am going to take it out. Just not now.”
Her: “But you’ll forget if you don’t do it right now.”
Him: “Stop bossing me around. I’ll do it when I’m good and ready.”
Her: “Which means never. And, then I’ll have to take it out in the morning. I’m so sick of cleaning up all the messes you leave behind.”
Him: “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Her: “You know exactly what it means. Maybe I’m just sick of you!”

Sound familiar?

So what do you do when all reason goes out the window, insults are flying, and you’ve backed each other into a corner?

Actually, there are several things you can do to restore the peace, but they all hinge on your willingness to do something “unnatural.”

I’m a counselor who spends a lot of time teaching couples how to communicate more effectively. The comment I hear most often when I introduce these strategies is, “This isn’t natural!” I tell couples, “You’re right. It’s not natural. But it’s worth practicing until it comes naturally.”

Would you rather be happy or right?

Partners? Image used with permission

My client Joe described his wife as “hot-tempered and critical.” Whenever she accused him of something, he would vigorously defend himself and tell her she was completely wrong. She would then insist that she was right, and their fights would escalate into three-hour screaming matches that would jump from one subject to another.

I asked Joe what he thought would happen if, rather than defending himself and insisting she was wrong, he found a bit of truth in what she was saying and admitted some responsibility.

He said, “I could never do that! It’s not what a man does! Besides, I like being right.”

So I asked him, “Would you rather be right or happy?”

He decided to give the techniques a try, and we rehearsed some ways to respond to his wife’s accusations.

At the next session, Joe reported that a miracle had happened! His wife had accused him of never complimenting her, and instead of defending himself, he replied, “You’re right. I don’t compliment you enough. I’m going to do that more.” His wife was caught completely off guard and mumbled, “That’s great.” Joe marveled, “That was the end of the discussion. Normally we would have had a three-hour fight.”

The more Joe practiced not always having to be right, the more the relationship improved. Today he and his wife feel closer than ever.

How to prevent disagreements from escalating

The strategies below are likely to feel awkward and unnatural at first. It’s not easy to let go of defensive, knee-jerk responses. But if you persist, I guarantee you’ll have a happier, more loving relationship.

When your partner accuses you, look for some grain of truth in what they are saying – even if it’s miniscule. For example, “You’re right I do forget to take out the garbage sometimes.”
If you can’t find any truth at all in what the other person is saying, just say, “You might have a point there. Let me think about that.”
Even if you completely disagree with the other person’s accusations, you might still want to admit it just to preserve harmony. (This takes a lot of motivation and self-control!) You can always explore the issue at a later time when your partner is calmer.

If you want your partner to appreciate and love you more, then try being right less often!

I’d love to hear what happens when you try out these unnatural strategies. How did you partner react the first time they heard one of these new responses? Please let me know!

Dan Lippmann counsels clients from his two Chicago-area offices and is the creator of the Mood Switch Method, an easy to learn technique that breaks the painful cycle of negative emotions, such as anxiety, down moods and anger. Download his free eBook, Beyond EFT: 7 Steps to Banish Stress, Worry, Fear and Anxiety, and sign up for his weekly tips at www.danlippmann.com.

The True Value of Financial Goals

September 13, 2011 by Guest Contributor

This post is by Shaun of moneycactus.com.

I know what you’re thinking: “just another post about financial goal setting.” Yeah, those are pretty common these days. How much more could I tell you about setting SMART goals, and having them for the short, medium, and long term anyway?

Click! You’re gone … plenty more to read online today.

It’s a bit of a shame for those that have already left, because I’m not really interested in how you set goals, or the number you have and whether you’ll achieve them before midnight on New Year’s Eve. What I want to know is:

why you set them and
how big they really are.

Forget Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time bound goals.

Let’s talk about your dreams instead.

How big do you dream?

Alright, time to be honest here: do you dream about being filthy rich and powerful? How about just well off with the nicer things in life? Perhaps you would just be happy to be debt-free and have more choices and freedom?

There is nothing wrong with dreaming about any of these things. It really depends on how big you want to get and where your priorities lie.

What do you value?

Everyone has a core set of values. These are the things that you place the greatest importance on, and are generally what drive you to do the things you do, live the way you live, and be the way you are. It is really important to understand your values when setting goals—particularly financial ones, as they will ultimately dictate the end result.

If we focus on financial goals, then the associated values are the way we think about our time, money, and lifestyle. If you want to be filthy rich, then you probably value money the most. If you want to be well off, then it is likely you value lifestyle, and if you just want to be debt-free to enable greater choice, then you probably place the greatest emphasis on your time.

People often say they value all of these things, which is perfectly fair, but if you really think on it, it is likely that you place greater value on some aspects more than others.

If you are honest with yourself and identify your values, then developing and reaching your financial goals will get a whole lot easier.

To determine your values, have a think about some of the goals you may have set in the past, or some you might set right now. Are they focused around a central theme? If you were to prioritize them, how would the most important one align with money, time, or lifestyle?

Personally I find the best and most telling way is to look at goals that you haven’t achieved in the past. The reason is likely because they didn’t align with your values.

How strong is your belief?

Once you understand your values, you should know how realistic your goals might be. This doesn’t mean you can’t or shouldn’t try to stretch yourself, but it will help you identify your weaknesses and hopefully improve your resolve if you are truly committed to reaching your goal.

For example: If you value the simple things in life, then a goal to live frugally and save as much as you can might be completely achievable. On the other hand, if you value your creature comforts then this might be a huge stretch.

I think that the ultimate example is the one of becoming filthy rich. After a certain point, having lots of money would cover all of our values wouldn’t it?

Rich and powerful? Check.
Lifestyle and creature comforts? Check.
All the time in the world and lots of choices? Check!

Perfect, right? Well, not really. Unless you win the lottery, you still need to commit to a path that allows you to reach this goal and it will not align with the values of everyone. In fact, it is likely to align with the values of very few because often it means taking big risks with the money you have, committing to a plan without wavering (i.e. having very little choice), and living on less in order to invest more.

The goal of becoming filthy rich therefore seems to be unattainable because no one has values that align with the goal. I’m not going to lie to you—this is a pretty tough goal and not one that many truly want anyway, because they’d have to stretch all of their values at the same time in order to achieve the desired outcome. If this is a goal of yours, then understanding your values and how they will impact your financial goal setting will greatly improve your chance of success. If it is not your goal, you should still think about ways in which you can try to stretch your values and dream as big as you dare.

If you place strong importance on your immediate family/children/closest friends, you might set a goal to double your income in the next 12 months in order to allow your partner to give up their job and stay home with the kids or enrol the kids in a private school/drama classes/music lessons or fly ten of your closest friends to Bali for a party.

Ultimately, your goals need to be about you. Why else would you set them? Find out what you value and your goal setting will get a whole lot easier.

So, what do you value? Share your thoughts with us in the comments.

Shaun is not an accountant, financial planner or life coach, but he writes about wealth creation anyway! Shaun’s motto is “Make wealth, not money,” which fits quite nicely with where he wants to be in life. You can find out more by visiting his blog where he shows you how to do nothing and grow wealthy.

FeelGooder Asks: How Will You Stave Off Cold and Flu this Fall?

September 10, 2011 by georgina

With the changing seasons, it’s all too easy to pick up bugs and get sick. I don’t know about you, but I often seem to forget that the weather’s cooler, and try to get around in my summer clothes as long as possible. Not smart. Inevitably I wind up sniveling on the couch with red eyes, a headache, and a dearth of vitamin C tablets.

So we asked our lovely FeelGooder followers:

How will you stave off cold an flu this fall?

We got some intriguing ideas.

AnJuli advised, “The moment I start to feel ill or sense illness coming on I switch to a diet of fruit and water. All those antioxidants must be good for something.”

It’s a good point: often we “sense” an illness coming on before there are any major symptoms. When you start to feel run down, AnJuli’s advice might just help you out.

Reader Leigh, on the other hand, is a picture of health. “I hardly ever get colds! Maybe three total in 35 years,” she boasted! Lucky lady. She recommends this article from Scientific American, which details research that shows how populations in different regions have differently shaped noses.

My favorite quote from the article comes from Nathan Holton at the University of Iowa, who says “Proper heating and humidification of air in colder climates are important for respiratory health.” Keep that in mind, northeners!

When I get a sore throat I rely on ginger tea—root ginger boiled in water for around five minutes, then sipped—to sooth the situation. What’s your secret cold and flu remedy? Share it with us in the comments!

Fall Food Favorites: Warm Lentil Salad and Super-moist Carrot Cake

September 9, 2011 by Guest Contributor

This guest post is by Jules Clancy of Stonesoup.

As Summer draws to a close and the evening start to get a little chilly, there’s one thing that saves me from getting depressed about the long, cold Winter ahead.

It’s the food.

And the anticipation of getting a decent appetite back.

While I love salads and ice cream as much as the next girl, possibly more even, I find I just don’t get as hungry when it’s warm out and the focus is on keeping cool.

But as soon as the temperature dips and the days start to draw just that little bit shorter, I find my hunger returning. Thankfully, it also brings along the desire to spend more time in the kitchen than the few seconds it takes to toss a Summer salad.

After months of neglect, it’s time to get reunited with my oven and my love for baking. It’s time to start thinking about roasts and slow cooked dishes. Meat that just falls of the bone when you think about touching it with a spoon.

It’s time to start thinking about soups and mushrooms and roasting nuts. Among other things…

Which produce comes into season in the Fall?

After having the whole summer to grow and ripen, it’s not surprising that fall is the season of the harvest. A season of abundance.

Vegetables: For me fall is all about pumpkins and mushrooms. But it also sees the beginning of the root vegetables that really come into their own in winter. Beets and carrots are lovely at this time of year as are parsnips.
Fruit: Grapes and their divine end product, wine are big in the fall. Other fall fruit includes apples, pears, figs, pomegranate and quince.
Meat: For some reason I associate pork with the fall. Probably because it goes so well with apples that are in season. Although it could just be that I’m looking for an excuse to eat some crackling.

7 ideas to get you excited fall produce again

1. Visit a farmers market

With cold storage and the global food chain, shopping in your local supermarket can be so consistent from month to month. Boring when you think about it. Its no wonder we become detached from the seasonal nature of food production.

Fortunately, there’s a super-easy way to get back in touch. No, you don’t need to find a big plot of land and get your green thumb happening, although that might be fun. All it takes is a visit to your local farmers market. Chatting to people who really live and eat by the season, it’s hard not to be infected by their charm.

2. Go foraging for mushrooms, or not…

I have dreams of one day being adopted by an old Italian man who knows how to find the best wild mushrooms and avoid the spectre of death. Unfortunately this is still waiting to be realised.

So in the meantime, I make do with meaty portabello mushrooms from the market. Just roast them with some thyme, garlic and a generous few knobs of butter. Just the thing for a warm salad or a hearty veggie sandwich.

3. Roast some nuts

It always amazes me how a little bit of heat can bring alive the wonderful toasty flavours of nuts. Leave chestnuts for the winter and stock up on hazelnuts and almonds instead. Just the thing to add crunch and some warming, nutty flavours

4. Seduce someone with the worlds sexiest salad

It’s hard to beat a fresh fig when it comes to food for seduction. Except possibly a salad made to be shared with figs, buffalo mozzarella, proscuitto and a handful of parsley for some greenness.

5. Make a pot of soup

Even though one of the best soups I ever ate was in a back alley on a swealtering day in Bangkok, I still think of soup as being about cooler weather. I’m happy to skip them all tougether in favour of salads during the summer. But when fall comes knocking, I’m happy to let him in if there’s a big pot of veggies and stock simmering away on the stove.

6. Bake a cake

Now that it’s cool enough to crank up your oven, get busy with a spot of baking. A super moist carrot cake like the recipe below if just the thing. Or better yet, try theselittle chocolate cakes for a hit of intense chocolatey goodness.

7. Plan a wine holiday or weekend

All the activity with harvesting grapes from the vineyard and fermenting them into the nectar of the Gods makes fall a vibrant time to visit any wine region. The chance to sample ripe wine grapes fresh from the vine is something all wine lovers should experience at some stage. Prepare to be blown away by the depth of flavour which makes table grapes taste like simple sugar water.

[5 ingredients | 5 minutes] A warm lentil salad for fall

Beet and lentil salad (image is author's own)

Serves two.

If you’d prefer to keep it nut free, a little goats cheese or feta would make a great substitution for the almonds.

I prefer this salad slightly warm, but it’s also great at room temperature.It’s one of those hearty salads that can be made in advance and will sit around happily until you’re ready to eat.

Feel free to either use canned beets or roast your own. Scrubbing fresh beets and chopping into quarters or smaller chunks. Place in a roasting pan, drizzle with olive oil and a little balsamic vinegar, cover with foil and roast for 45 minutes to an hour, or until tender.

For the balsamic onions, just soften a couple of large sliced onions in a generous glug of olive oil and then finish with a few tablespoons of good quality balsamic vinegar.

1 tablespoon sherry vinegar
250g (9oz) cooked or canned lentils, drained
10 pieces roast or canned beets
3-4 tablespoons balsamic onions
optional small handful roasted almonds

Whisk vinegar with 2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil in a large bowl. Season.
Toss in lentils, onions if using and divide between two plates.
Top with beets and almonds.

[5 ingredients | simple baking] Super-moist carrot cake

Serves six to eight.

Almond meal can be expensive, so if you’d prefer to keep costs down substitute the almond meal with some self raising flour or all flour. The texture will be lighter and more traditionally cakey, but it will still be lovely. You probably won’t need to bake it as long either.

This is like one of those wonderfully squidgy brownie recipes where it’s not meant to be cooked all the way through. If you’re a little nervous about eggs not being 100% cooked, by all means do so, but the texture will loose some of it’s pudding-like moistness.

250g (8 1/2 oz) brown sugar
1/2 cup vegetable or peanut oil
3 eggs
250g (8 1/2 oz) almond meal
250g (8 1/2 oz) carrots, coarsely grated

Preheat your oven with a baking sheet on the middle shelf to 180C (350F).
Line a 20cm (8in) spring form cake tin with baking paper. Grease the base and side with a little oil.
In a large bowl, mix together the sugar and oil.
Add eggs, one at a time mixing to combine. Stir in almond meal and carrots.
Pour cake mixture into the prepared tin and level off with a spoon.
Bake for 1 hour, or until the top is golden and feels firm to the touch. Cool in the tin.

What are you favorite Fall foods? Share your recipe ideas in the comments!

Jules Clancy loves food and wine so much she has science degrees in both. She is the author of 5 Ingredients | 10 Minutes and blogs about delicious meals that can be made in minutes over at Stonesoup.

Three Fall Fitness Essentials

September 8, 2011 by Lisa Johnson

Old habits die hard, and once again as September pops up on my calendar, new projects spring to mind. I love the cooling breezes, the shrug of my jacket, and the boundless energy that seems to well up this time every year.

Most of my September projects are successful. I can schedule time, and my little guy is back in school and having his own rush of productivity, so there’s lots of opportunity to get stuff done.

Career projects are crucial, of course, but you can do some personal spiffing as well: a new sport, a new exercise regime, some new fitness gear, and a whole new attitude.

In fact, a new fitness attitude can help you with all of your endeavors. Working out regularly will keep your creativity high, your mind calm, and your focus on tasks to be accomplished. There are dozens of studies that back this up. Here are some ideas for inspiration…

Pick something fun

Don’t choose an activity that will just be a slog to you. Think about a type of exercise or sport that you’ve always wanted to try, then take a deep breath and do it! There is no law that says you can’t have fun while you get fit.

Pick something hard

Test yourself a bit; stretch … and see how far your body will go. Push yourself a little bit (just a little bit) beyond your reach and see if you can get there. You’ll have to work at it, plan how you’ll get there, and maybe get some coaching; all of these activities will stimulate your brain and your body and keep you engaged in that thing called life!

Do it with friends

Include your friends on your fitness journey. Find some like-minded individuals to play with. You can cross the finish line together or boogie and giggle in the back of the dance class. You’ll be deepening relationships and expanding the sphere of people you know who are living healthy lifestyles—both keys to longevity.

So what do you want to do this September? What fitness tweak or adventure would you like to take? Share it with us; we’d love to hear.

Start Saving For Your Winter Getaway Now!

September 7, 2011 by Guest Contributor

This post is by Ali Luke of Constructively Productive.

As I write this, it’s late August here in the UK—and the weather is already cold and miserable. By the middle of winter, I know that I’ll be thoroughly fed up of the rain and the grey skies.

If you live in the Northern Hemisphere too, you’ll be watching the days grow shorter and shorter as winter approaches. By December or January, you’ll probably be wishing you were somewhere warmer.

Now’s the time to plan (and save) for a winter getaway, so that you’ve got something to look forwards to as the months get colder.

Why it’s good to get away

You know how valuable a vacation can be. It leaves you refreshed and re-energized for your work; it gives you a chance to spend time relaxing with your family or friends; it may even be a chance to try out something completely new.

In the depths of winter, getting away to somewhere warm and sunny can really lift your spirits. Christmas is often a busy time of travelling to see different groups of friends or relatives, so taking a break in early December or in January can give you some much-needed time out!

Of course, you probably agree with me that a winter break would be great—if you could afford it. After all, with Christmas on its way, your budget might already be looking stretched.

Don’t simply wait until December to see whether or not you have enough money left over for a break: chances are, you won’t.

You need to start saving now so that you can enjoy a guilt-free trip.

How to keep your savings plan on track

You don’t have to save a lot in order to get away. A few hundred dollars might well be enough for a long weekend trip, plus cheap flights (try hunting around online for good deals).

If you saved just $50 per week—$10 each weekday—for three months (13 weeks), you’d have $650. Okay, it’s not going to buy you a month-long cruise, but it’s enough for a refreshing few days away.

Where can you find that $50? Perhaps:

you and your partner go out for a meal twice a week, and easily spend $25 per head
you’re buying a couple of new DVDs or computer games each week
your daily lunch costs you $10—if you packed leftovers from home, or made a sandwich, you’d be paying a fraction of that
you spend $50 on drinks every Friday night when you go out with friends.

If you haven’t got much idea of what you’re currently spending, try keeping a log for a week. Write down every penny you spend. At the end of the week, look for $50 worth of spending that you could cut.

It can be hard to stay motivated to save, so if you’re struggling, try these tips:

Only take the cash that you need when you go shopping—that way, you won’t be swayed by impulse purchases.
Book your trip ahead of time. Then you’ll know exactly what you’re saving towards.
Put your savings into a separate bank account, so that it’s harder to spend them on a whim.
Ask your partner or a friend to keep you accountable.

If you hope to enjoy a winter vacation in three or four month’s time, let us know what you’re planning to do, and how you’re going to make sure it happens! The comments are open…

Ali Luke blogs at Constructively Productive about productivity with perspective. If you’d like regular tips on getting more done, saving money, and—most importantly—finding time to do what you love, then grab the RSS feed here.

4 Cozy Fall Date Ideas

September 6, 2011 by Emma

Fall is the perfect season for lovers. After all the beach weather and parties of summertime, Fall is a great segue into cooler months that mean cozy nights on the couch and comfort food cooked in your own kitchen.

To make the most of this visually spectacular, romantic time of year, here are four Fall date ideas for you to try.

1. Go apple picking

It’s harvest time for this crisp, ripe fruit! Find a nearby orchard where you can take out a basket and pick your own shiny apples.

Once the hard work is done, stop for a cider at the orchard (I guarantee they’ll have a café that makes the most of their wonderful produce there), then head home to bake apple pie from scratch. Don’t forget to pick up the vanilla ice cream on the way!

2. Have a picnic

It’s a shame to let all those leaves put on such a show if no one is around to appreciate it. Rug up, find some extra blankets to snuggle in, and head to a picnic spot among gorgeous trees.

Take mulled wine or hot chocolate in a thermos, some pumpkin pie and gourmet cheeses. Make some time to build piles of leaves and jump in them while you’re at it.

3. Enjoy football season

Football is back! Spend a night watching your local college team play while huddled in the bleachers under a blanket with some burgers and fries. Even if football isn’t your thing, pick a team and cheer hard. Getting into the sporting spirit is guaranteed to warm you up.

4. Scream!

Get into the Halloween spirit early with a classic horror movie marathon at home. Snuggle on the couch with popcorn and candy while you shiver at the likes of Hitchcock and Kubrick.

All that adrenalin may just get your heart racing … in more ways than one!

How do you like to spend cool Fall days with your sweetie?