Why I Love … Ashtanga Yoga

This post is by Claudia Azula Altucher of Claudiayoga.com.

I was completely intrigued by Ashtanga yoga at first sight, starting with its brutal schedule, but also including its lack of poetry (no “feel the Earth’s energy flow through you” was ever heard in a class) and the mythological superstitions that some forms of yoga employ.

As the years went by and the practice deepened, I fell in love with it hopelessly and for many reasons. Here are some.

1. It’s no-nonsense

Ashtanga yoga plays no games. When I say it has a brutal schedule, I mean it. It is practiced six times a week for at least 1.5 hours. Rest days are Saturdays, full-moon days, and “ladies holidays”. Men have no holidays, sorry! The routine which one practices is pre-set and is called the primary series, which is a set of poses designed to release all toxins and heal the body at its gross level.

At first the practice felt very competitive, which for my western mind was a good carrot on a stick. I wanted to be better, to advance fast, to move to the intermediate series of poses (there are six that grow in intensity). Little did I know how long it would take me to perfect the primary series, how much dedication and discipline it takes, and also that it is not about the next pose, but rather about the amazing changes that the practice brings into the practitioner’s life.

The Guru of Ashtanga yoga, Sri K. Pattabhi Jois said: “Do your practice and all is coming.” I have found this to be a great incentive, and also a deep truth. The “all” in that statement really means all The “do your practice” means more than just the practice of the poses. It means learning to connect with spirit. The rest simply comes—it’s almost like magic.

2. It’s portable

When I first started practicing I had a demanding corporate job that required travel throughout Europe. I would be in London one week and in Spain the next one. I also traveled to Buenos Aires very often. Yet, because the practice is set, it is easy to simply roll out the mat wherever one is in the world. There is no need to find a teacher (although I did that too—and for fun).

I’m known for “doing it” in very odd places. I have performed the whole primary series in my brother’s terrace, and to the curious eyes of thousands of windows above me; in an inborn flight within the kitchenette area and until whenever the flight attendants kicked me out; and in Dubai airport while waiting for the next plane to Bangalore.

3. It is a breathing practice

Breathing is the most important and relevant thing within the practice. There’s no pause: one keeps breathing and flowing from one pose (asana) to the next, and the body is constantly moving while riding the breath.

Starting the day with such awareness of the breath has proven very helpful for my remaining waking hours. For example, I began to notice while in difficult corporate meetings that I could stop the talking and focus on the breathing. Just take a small pause, not a long one obviously, and take one long breath. This, believe it or not, has a psychological effect by which one seems to come across as centered—and that was what I was trying to do (get centered). I have found that by just breathing and not saying anything for, say, three to five seconds, problems have either solved themselves or disappeared.

4. Every single practice is a full body and mind workout

Each class is called a Mysore class because of its birth place in the city of Mysore, in South India. They are self-lead, meaning that one arrives and puts the mat out and starts, and nobody leads (except for specifically designated led classes once a week).

These Mysore classes can get really hot, especially when the rooms are crowded, it is summer, or you are in a tropical place. It is also hard, the poses are not easy, and there is nothing poetic about it. It is what it is, and one deals with it. Perspiration goes hand in hand with daily practice, and it is best to make peace with it, and do some research on good deodorants. I found the learning curve, although steep, very controlled, because a teacher will only add poses one by one, when the student is ready.

Ashtanga yoga is also a metaphor for life. I have noticed that just by attempting a difficult position like kurmasana, I would then dare to do challenging things in life, like planning a trip to India by myself, going for an extended silent meditation retreat, or trying to be kinder to all people.

5. It helps the body relax deeply

Through the new flock of friends Ashtanga brought into my life I learned about the Castor Oil bath. This practice is said to have so many benefits that if you were to believe them all, you’d think it is a potion that comes straight from the Gods.

The main benefit is in the heat that the oil produces in the body, and every time I bathe I feel the warmth. It feels almost as if I had a suit on me that is trapping, extracting, and then releasing impurities. Further benefits among others are the reduction of pain and inflammation, and a healthy glow. It is secrets like this one—traditions that in India have been passed around for generations—that opened my eyes to a completely different way of caring for the body.

6. It gave me the answer

At the most recent conference I attended in Mysore with the head of the lineage (Sharath Jois), I was surprised to see that for every question the students had, the answer was always the same, “do yoga.” Yes there are variations depending on the question, but the main focus is always brought back to this.

“Do yoga” does not just mean do the poses, it means being in touch with the divine within, it means self reflection, noticing where my intentions are, and what is it that I really want in life. It means noticing the areas where I am hoarding, weather it be energy, or possessions, and noticing where I am being truthful in my relationships and where I create intrigue just for self-satisfaction. “Do Yoga” means purifying every action I do.

In daily life, this has a profound effect. I notice for example that if I lose inspiration on what to write about, or I need guidance on how to handle a situation with my husband, it is by “coming back to spirit”, reflecting, and noticing what I am doing with my energy that brings the best answers.

7. It brought me to India

Any Ashtangi that enjoys the practice is eventually brought to its place of birth in Mysore, South India. The Ashtanga Yoga Research Institute is located on a quiet street in the neighborhood of Gokulam, which is another planet, yet has some of the western comforts as it caters to the myriad of students that pour into it year after year to study at the source.

Coming to India worked within me as a restart button. It allowed me to see a whole different culture, to be bathed in colors, chants, smells, foods, and things that were completely different to anything I had seen before, and hence served as an inspiration. I am writing this article from my second trip, while staying in the household of an Indian family, and I sure hope I will be returning soon.

Practicing at the source, with the main teachers in the lineage, and knowing that they are watching makes people try harder, go a little deeper, focus on the practice (and I do not mean just the asana). So when I return home I feel like I have done more than one month of work.

8. It helped me understand the power of the word

Perhaps the biggest lesson I have learned through yoga is the power of the word. Yoga teaches us to cleanse the body and the mind, so that we can eventually see the shinning light that was within us all along but we had kept covered with dust.

The way we word things is one of those areas that needs immediate purification. Words are powerful, they cast spells, they provoke emotional reactions, they can hurt or nurture others, they can bring peace or discomfort.

A few weeks ago in one of my articles I had a very sarcastic comment from a reader, and I realized that I had a choice, I could continue the hurt by being rude or I could do something different. I replied to his comment by saying two things: one, that I got the sarcasm, and two, that I liked the way he wrote. He was indeed a good writer, he was just using the power of the word in an attempt to hurt. Perhaps the yoga was working for me as I was able to put the attention on what was good about him—the writing—and deflecting the negativity by just acknowledging it.

9. I released 30 pounds and never saw them again

Perhaps a better wording for that would be that I came into my ideal weight, and it was not done by following a diet or any kind of program, or being tough or firm. No, it actually all started by learning to love myself in a rather gentle way.

I used Louise Hay’s exercise, by which one looks into a mirror and says “I love you”. In the beginning I felt very out of sorts, stupid almost. Do you know why? Because I did not believe it. After a while, however, I came to the understanding that maybe I was worth of my own respect, maybe I was deserving of my own love.

I find that loving myself was the first step in bringing about many important changes in my life, not just attaining my ideal weight, but also getting clear about relationships, using my time and energy more effectively, considering the possessions I had which I did not really need, and discerning what good friendships meant.

10. I went down the rabbit hole

As titillating as it is to watch long-term practitioners perform difficult poses, the really amazing part of the practice for me has come through seeing the changes it brought in my life and how they manifested. Coincidences these days fill my days to the point where it feels like a science fiction novel—I follow clues from the plates of cars, images, things I hear, and so on. Clues about the right direction come to me, and I am blessed to be open enough to listen. This happens, of course, as long as I keep the connection with God (however it is that I understand it) alive.

This is what, for me, makes yoga a practice rather than a workout, it has a spiritual deep connection and an element of surrendering and surprise that keeps me wondering and in awe. It is magical.

Have you ever tried yoga in any form? What was your experience of it? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

Claudia Azula Altucher has studied yoga for over a decade and all over the world including the Ashtanga Yoga Research Institute in Mysore, India, and at Centered Yoga in Thailand. She writes daily at Claudiayoga.com.

Are You Loving Your Partner the Right Way?

Are you loving your partner the right way? It’s a funny question, isn’t it? I mean, there is no right way to love someone. I don’t want you to think I have a formula sitting here that you can follow like a recipe.

But there is a right way to love a person: according to how they like to be loved.

You see, everyone responds differently to different love stimuli. Some people like to be told they are loved, over and over. Some people like to be hugged and kissed to be shown they’re loved.

There are, in fact, five different Love Languages that author Gary Chapman has coined in his book, called (you guessed it!) The 5 Love Languages.

Do you know which love language your partner speaks?

Everyone has a primary Love Language that they identify with most, just like a native tongue. We may have secondary languages, but they won’t resonate for us as much as our primary language does.

Sourced from kah045 on Photobucket

We learned our own Love Language through our childhood—usually because that’s the way our parents showed us love. (Sometimes, because it’s the opposite of what they showed us.)

My own mother, for example, was not hugged or touched or kissed a lot as a child. In turn, she decided she would lavish her own children with physical love as much as possible. She used to carry me around in a baby pouch as she did the housework, just so I’d be close to her.

As it turns out, I’m now a sucker for a cuddle. I touch people all the time when I talk to them (which freaks some people out) and I would happily lash myself to my husband all day, every day, if he’d let me.

Unfortunately for me, he’s not into that kind of love quite so much as I am.

He prefers another Love Language of Chapman’s: Acts of Service. Growing up in a household with European parents, there not many declarations of love, but many more dinners cooked, rooms cleaned, and buttons sewed.

My husband knows he’s loved when things are done for him (which, to be honest, sounded like a cop-out, sexist Love Language if ever I’d heard one, but it’s actually not. Chapman assures us in his book that it’s quite valid.).

So, he loves it when I cook him dinner or do his washing … and if I happen to vacuum the house? My, my is he a happy camper!

In return, he naturally shows his love for me by formatting my hard drive or putting oil in my car.

Of course, I’d prefer a simple hug and a kiss, which is where language discrepancies can come in. He might spend hours poring over my broken computer to fix it. Meanwhile, I may be feeling unloved because I haven’t had a hug in a while and he’s ignoring me while he focuses on the computer.

Doing the Dishes: The Perfect Way to Please Your 'Acts of Service' Type

If you’re not speaking the same Love Language as your partner, then chances are you’re having a miscommunication. Perhaps you keep trying to tell them how much you adore them, when all they want is for you to make them breakfast every now and then.

Let’s backtrack for a minute and talk about the five different languages as identified by Chapman:

Quality Time people need you to set aside specific time to spend with them (date night, anyone?!) and will do the same for you no matter how busy they are.

Words of Affirmation lovers crave constant encouragement from their partners, while Gifts people love to buy and receive little tokens of gift-wrapped love.

The Physical Touch people (like me) crave hugs and kisses, and the Acts of Service types love you to do things for them, and will do things for you to show you their love.

You can probably pick which Love Language you prefer just from the above short description. If not, you can go and take the assessment quiz over at Chapman’s website.

The most important part of all

The important thing to remember is that if you and your partner are speaking different languages, you may find it hard to understand each other.

One of the nicest things you can do for your relationship is truly understand each other.

I urge you to find out what Love Language you both speak, then do whatever is necessary—in his or her language—to make sure your partner feels loved and appreciated regularly. And let them know what your Love Language is too.

It may take some effort, but once you see how your partner glows when you do something for them that truly lets them know they’re loved, you’ll know it’s worth it.

Five Lessons that Teaching Music Taught Me About Success

This post is by Bradford Werner of Classical Guitar Canada.

I teach classical guitar at the Victoria Conservatory of Music in Victoria British Columbia, Canada. I teach about 25 one-on-one students, give lectures on occasion, and coach a few ensembles as well.

One thing I love about teaching is making the study of music a positive experience where learning is exciting, and there is no need to build motivation or discipline because it develops on its own. I think the tenets of this philosophy can be applied with success in other areas of our lives. Let me explain.

1. Just keep practicing

My students have taught me a lot about the importance of routine and consistency. They show up to lessons every week and practice on average 45 minutes to one hour each day. After a year of lessons, they are good little classical guitarists—they’re happy, I’m happy, their parents are happy. All they had to do was practice regularly. They didn’t doubt themselves in their practice sessions because practicing is like brushing their teeth—they just do it every day.

Some of the greatest people in history weren’t the smartest ones or the most talented—they were people who simply did whatever they set out to do. While the rest of us were watching six hours of Star Trek episodes, those guys were out there practicing.

Sometimes when I’m facing challenges in life, I like to think of my students. If I’m being negative or feeling self-doubt I just remember that if I simply do the work I’ll end up with something to show for it.

One of my best students didn’t start as the most promising. When the student came to me she was young, relatively untrained, and rather unfocused too. She joked about in lessons quite a bit and I wasn’t sure she was suited to one-on-one training of the classical kind. But guess what? She stuck with the lessons and so did I. She is now an amazing student and becoming an independent, head-strong musician who practices more than I’d ever ask

In Scott Tenant’s book on classical guitar technique, humorously called Pumping Nylon, he quotes Yoda from Star Wars who sums up the point: “Do or do not, there is no try.”

2. Make your work positive

Youth and adult students often come to the first lesson with fear, insecurity, and a lack of motivation. However, as we get into the groove of weekly lessons, the successful students always find ways to make the grind of practicing enjoyable.

Reward yourself well when you practice or work. It’s not all about self-discipline. Make your practice sessions into something special. I usually treat myself to a gourmet coffee, which I get to drink when I actually sit down to practice. Others might take the time to get away from everyone and have a bit of quiet time just before practicing. Whatever you do, consider making it a habit that will encourage you to sit down and get to work with a smile, because starting is the hardest part.

Here’s another trick (replace these musical references with your own chosen work or activity): make your practice session positive by working on ultra-small amounts of music, but playing well, and exactly the way you want it to sound. If that means only being able to play one tiny bit at a time, then so be it. Choose your ideal aesthetic and make it happen in your playing.

This is a way to make sure you feel good after every session, and a way for you to know that you’re on the right track. Reach your full potential, if only in small amounts—it will become easier to get through more material at this new high level of quality each time your try it.

3. Collaborate and share

Working with others is like having multiple brains working for you at once. When I play in groups, I get exposed to all sorts of new ideas and fresh perspectives. I often see people wanting to hide their ideas and protect their intellectual activity but they slowly become closed-off and secluded. In my teaching studio, the students who play ensemble music are more dynamic, more inspired, have better listening skills, and continue playing for longer periods of time due to the extra stimulation.

I run a website called Classical Guitar Canada, where I post pretty much anything for anyone about their Canadian classical guitar activities. The site makes virtually no money since I don’t run ads. However, by creating a central place to share ideas, I’ve been introduced to nearly all the classical guitar contacts in Canada. I’m now getting invited to adjudicate festivals all over, and it’s been nothing but fun. Plus, all the ideas and interaction really keeps me interested in my profession.

One of the joys of modern technology is that learning tips from others has never been easier. Sometimes, if I need to find a way of making my practice session more efficient, I ask my Facebook friends or the Classical Guitar Canada friends. They always are dying to share their tips and strategies at practicing.

4. Practicing is problem solving

The best students are the ones who don’t repeat their mistakes. That’s one reason why we have teachers. Teachers teach students to learn how to solve problems, and introduce alternative ways of approaching issues based on their own experience.

When I teach students how to practice, I tell them that they must isolate problems and get to solving them right away. Find out what the aesthetic is (the particular sound, style, or ideal) and try accomplishing it in small amounts. Make a list a of your “problems” and tackle them one at a time. If you have a problem either professionally or personally you need to solve it a.s.a.p. or it will waste your precious time again and again.

5. Be efficient and realize your potential

The great classical guitarist John Williams once said that as a child he only practiced 30 minutes a day. John Williams is one of those flawless players whom I would have expected to have been a strung-out child addicted to practice by age five. But instead, he only practiced 30 minutes a day? I can only imagine that during those 30 minutes he used his time ultra-wisely. I tell my students that you don’t have to practice very much, but you do have to practice very well.

After a student recital last year, I complimented one of my young students on how well they played. It was their first year of playing and first public performance in their life. They were only practicing about 15 minutes a day at the time (now they are up to 45 minutes). They replied to my compliment with, “I didn’t know I could do that!”

My teaching has taught me these tenets of success. What has your experience showed you about learning, improving, and achieving what you want?

Bradford Werner blogs about the classical guitar at Classical Guitar Canada and just started blogging about teaching, life, and the arts on www.bradfordwerner.ca.

3 Steps to Better Running

This post is by Jason Fitzgerald of Strength Running.

Distance running inspires the joy of movement, freedom, and celebration of health. The simple act of putting one foot in front of the other is hypnotic, peaceful, and a powerful form of meditation. Many runners do their best thinking while out running, when they think of nothing but what’s important to them.

Running is what I love to do every day. It makes me feel alive and healthy. Running provides a powerful shot of adrenaline that too many people go without in our modern times. When was the last time you confidently ran over a wooded trail, thinking of nothing but the sounds of nature?

Being able to enjoy running is a precious gift that shouldn’t be taken for granted. It’s true: running can be hard on your joints, as every step shoots impact forces of 1.5–3 times your body weight through your legs. Overuse injuries are common in runners, as more than half of them are injured every year.

It doesn’t have to be this way. You can enjoy running with simple preventative exercises and an approach that emphasizes strength, efficiency, and recovery.

A stronger runner is a better runner

Runners usually have big engines—they need to, in order to run so much! Your engine is your endurance or your aerobic capacity; it’s what enables you to keep running farther than your couch-potato friends.

As you cruise along enjoying the freedom of running, you’re going to need strong legs to help you continue running without injuries. To stay healthy and keep getting as much joy from running as possible, the right strength exercises are a must.

The best strength workouts for runners focus on the basics: compound, multi-joint exercises that train movements (not muscles). Squats, dead lifts, different types of lunges, and hay bales with a medicine ball are my favorites for the lower legs. For your upper body, focus on the bench press, pull ups, military press, chin ups, and dips. Don’t get fancy: get basic.

Run correctly to run easily

There is definitely a right way to run. If you’re over-striding, landing on your heel, or bent too far at the waist then you’re asking for an injury that could prevent you from running for days or weeks. Let’s prevent that—I want you to be able to run every day.

The five best strategies for running effortlessly include having a stride rate of about 180 steps per minute, landing underneath your center of mass, keeping your back tall, running quietly with no foot stomping, and landing on your midfoot.

Don’t try to change your running stride all at once—work on one thing at a time. When you’re comfortable running with a faster cadence, then you can practice another aspect of good running form. Put it together and you’re going to be more efficient and less injury-prone.

Healthy runners are mindful runners

Being mindful of your body is the most important aspect of enjoying the freedom of running. As you run day after day, are you being conscious of how your body is feeling? Take care to avoid the “three toos” of distance running: too much, too soon, too fast.

Increasing your running volume or intensity too quickly can put you at a higher risk for injury that would require you to take time off. Exercise good judgment with introducing a new training stress into your running. Judge how you feel after every run. Take a day off or run more slowly if you need to. Use my motto if you like: “You have to live to run another day.”

Running is a gift—a celebration of vitality that enables us to connect with ourselves on a deep level. By exercising some caution with training increases, skill in running form, and prevention with strength exercises you will virtually injury-proof your body.

Enjoy running for what it is: a powerful expression of what your body is capable of. It’s fun, isn’t it?

Jason Fitzgerald (or Fitz) is the founder of Strength Running, a 2:44 marathoner, and online running coach. He loves running the trails, strong coffee, and cycling. Strength Running unleashes Fitz’s passion for helping runners achieve their best and prevent running injuries. Subscribe to get instant updates from Strength Running.

Feelgooder Asks: What is Romance?

Romance is a tricky thing. We know that most women feel they don’t get enough of it. A lot of men aren’t sure how to go about it. And, above all, everyone has a different version of it. So today, we’re asking:

What’s your definition of “romance”?

Once upon a time—when you were a teenager, perhaps—romance was all stuffed teddy bears and armfuls of red roses dotted with baby’s breath.

Once, I was given a bear on a stick. I’m sure I swooned at the time as my mother snickered at the teenage-boy version of What Is Romantic.

In today’s cynical world, most of those classic romantic gestures can seem a little … oh, I don’t know. Should we say “tacky”? “Cheesy”? “Forced”? They definitely don’t carry much street cred.

It’s a shame the world is becoming so jaded, but then again, you have to move with the times.

While researching a love and romance website once, I read that a great date night with your sweetie would be to spend an hour staring into each others’ eyes at sunset. I don’t know about you, but I think after five minutes of that, I’d want to stick a fork into my eye.

That’s not to say I’m not a romantic. I am! A hopeless romantic, in fact. I still love candlelight and violins and The Notebook. I just happen to think we need to update our definition of romance for modern times.

The key feature of romance is that it’s impractical and flighty. A kiss in the rain, for example, is still a romantic notion (the fact that you don’t care that you’re being rained on, you just want to steal a moment with your sweetie is breathtaking!). Buying your girlfriend a new set of tires for her car, however, is not.

I think romance is also thoughtful. It’s knowing what your partner likes and surprising them with it for no reason at all. Like bringing home their favorite chocolate bar. Or showing up at their work with a picnic lunch.

I’d love to hear your thoughts. What’s the most romantic thing that’s ever happened to you? Do you think traditional romantic gestures have had their day? What’s your definition of romance?

The Perfect Path to Better Health

Image by Thorsten BeckerJanuary is an exciting time for fitness bloggers and Pilates studio owners alike! There’s lots of good energy, and lots of upbeat, hopeful people hoping to make positive changes in their lives. As a person who works in the industry, I love welcoming people into the fold and giving them the tools they need to live even better than before.

There is a pitfall, though: an “it must be perfect” attitude. Size 10 isn’t good enough: it must be a size 4. Pushups from the knees are only for wimps—you must do it from the toes. Not one crumb of “bad food” (whatever that is) has crossed my lips. And so on.

It’s a perfect way to set yourself up for failure.

If you’re on some sort of health journey, you’re thinking about food and fitness. Wherever you were, you weren’t happy about it and you’re incorporating new healthy aspects into your life. This. Is. Gold.

But remember: all the little changes add up. Walking up the stairs instead of taking the elevator is great. Signing up for a fitness class once a week is better than doing zero per week. Skipping the cream in favor of skim milk in your coffee. Having a smaller piece of cake instead of a slab.

These little things add up. Is this approach perfect? No. But it’s good enough.

It’s good enough to see gradual weight loss and smaller pant sizes. It’s good enough to feel stronger and have more energy. It’s good enough to want to be more social with friends and family. It’s good enough so that after a while it’s just habit—and then it’s time to add another little change. And that’s where the gold is.

If you just implement one little change per month, imagine how far ahead you’ll be by the end of the year. Here are some ideas…

  • Swap one deli sub for a salad with dressing on the side once per week. Drizzle the dressing lightly.
  • Drag your family to the park one day per week and play with your kids—don’t just sit on a bench.
  • Sign up for yoga with your buddy.
  • Change your protein portions at dinner from eight ounces down to five ounces.
  • Add a vegetable serving per day above what you’re already doing.
  • Buy a fitness DVD and commit to it once per week.
  • Brown-bag your lunch one day per week.

Any of these changes is enough to knock ten pounds off your frame this year if you stick to them. Wouldn’t it be nice to effortlessly lose a dress size this year (about ten pounds)? How about two or three dress sizes? Wouldn’t that be gold?

If you feel like the perfectionism thing has really given you a hard time, just stop, give yourself a mental hug and begin again, fresh, today.

How do you beat yourself up when you’re not perfect? What negative thoughts do you need to delete from your mental loop? What positive things can you say to replace them? Share your stories here.

Why I Love … Magic

This post is by Mystical Matthew, one of the professional magicians at Shizzle Dizzle Magic.

Being a professional magician means being a little eccentric. Who else would walk around with a fake goose that can supposedly read minds?

Mystical Matthew, The Great Nancini, and Miss. Cleo the Mind Reading Goose

Why do I love magic? The answer seems obvious … or is it? Most people assume I love magic because I love tricking people. They think I get a thrill out of feeling superior to someone else. That somehow knowing a “secret” makes me smarter.

Nothing could be further from the truth. The reality is a bit more complicated. Let’s start here:

“All men dream but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes to make it possible.”—T.E. Lawrence

As children, the world is a brand new place for each of us. Everything’s a mystery. We embrace the unknown simply because we have no other option. Children are dreamers by design. That’s why they’re so enthusiastic about magic.

Then something happens. We grow up.

Wonder is replaced by fear. We learn that the unknown is a dangerous thing. We discover the hard way that what you don’t know really can hurt you.

We respond by pushing our dreams into the void of darkness and sleep where they’re left to rot. We replace them with the illusion of security.

Somehow we figure that if we can push the unknown out of our consciousness it will stop existing. We go about our daily lives believing that every question can be answered with a Google search.

That’s a pathetic way to live. Dreams are the foundation of what makes us human. They’re powerful things. Look around you. Everything from your car to your cell phone started out as a dream in somebody’s head.

Just because you can’t hold it, see it, or touch it doesn’t mean it’s not real. Those dreams you have that could change the world? They’re real and they’re more powerful than you can imagine.

The only question is whether you’ll embrace them. Let them take over your waking existence. Do what it takes to pull them from your mind and push them into the physical realm.

The first step to doing that is accepting the unknown. Understand that the more we learn, the more questions we’ll have. Accept the danger of the unknown, but don’t let it replace wonder with fear.

I do magic to remind people of this fact. To “jolt them awake.” Ironically, I’m trying to shatter the illusion they’ve built for themselves that their lives are totally in control.

The responses I get are all over the map. Some people respond enthusiastically. They embrace my art because they love the possibilities of their own imagination.

Other people respond negatively. I’ve just shattered their feelings of safety. They don’t like that. They want nothing more than to push my art (and me) out of their minds.

Then there’s a third group in the middle. They start out not really knowing what to expect, but slowly it dawns on them. The feeling of wonder seeps back into their consciousness and they walk away transformed.

These people are dangerous. These people are why I do magic.

I’m not here to “trick” you. I’m here to remind you of the power of your own imagination. I’m here to help you change the world. To make this place better. To leave something worthwhile behind for the next generation.

That’s why I love magic.

Mystical Matthew is one of the professional magicians at Shizzle Dizzle Magic. They specialize in corporate event entertainment. Be sure to check out their blog for that latest about what they’re up to!

Declutter Your Finances in Five Steps

This post is by David Boyd of CreditCardCompare.com.au

Decluttering might not seem like an important item on the old to-do list. However, whilst it can make the world of difference to your living space, wardrobe (closet), and kitchen you might be surprised at the difference a little bit of work can do in the overall organization of your personal finances.

Image by lordsutch

With a little planning, a few modifications, and a couple of readjustments on your part, you could find that dealing with your finances becomes a much more efficient as well as effective process. Here are a couple of tips that could make it easier for you to get a grasp on your financial life.

1. Reduction and combination

By reducing the number of bills and statements you receive, you may begin to get a better handle upon your finances. Items like newspaper and magazine subscription bills and offers alone can begin to inundate you after a while.

Add in items like the Internet, cable, utilities, health insurance, car insurance, homeowners insurance, mortgage, property tax, and lawn service bills, and add to all those the bills and statements for which you might receive multiple issues of for things like phone (if you have several services or providers for your family phones), credit cards, bank and retirement statements, and similar items, and you could be talking about dozens of items each month that you’re having to sort through.

By doing things such as bundling phone, Internet, and cable services, asking to be billed for certain items on a bi-monthly or quarterly basis, or just ditching some of those items like the magazine and newspaper subscriptions, you can begin to reduce the amount of clutter that arrives in the mail. You will definitely want to consider requesting online notification for certain bills and bank statements.

2. Know your bills

Knowing when your bills and statements typically arrive, as well as when they are due, can help you better keep your financial affairs organized. The fewer items you have to do this with, the easier it makes it to track them, especially when those items arrive on a consistent basis.

If you find that you have a difficult time knowing when you bills are likely to arrive or when they are due, consider using a calendar. This can make it easier to track your finances and help you plan out payment systems or just know what you might need to prepay before you go away on vacation for several weeks.

3. Payroll planning

Sometimes when it comes to your personal finances, it’s just easier to have someone else do the work for you. While automated bill payment can be helpful, it might also reduce your ability to catch errors or know when money is coming out of your account, which could leave you with costly overdraft fees

But when it comes to the items you may be able to have deducted directly from your paycheck, such as health insurance or a health savings account, retirement savings, direct deposit payments to bank accounts, and similar items, payroll deduction could make your financial life much more efficient and easier to handle.

4. Cut credit cards

While you probably don’t want to eliminate credit cards altogether, if you are only using one for the majority of your purchases, it can make it much easier to keep track of purchases as well as help to reduce financial clutter.

Just utilizing one credit card can reduce the number of statements you receive each month, make it easier to track spending and find discrepancies or errors, as well as remember what interest rate or finance charges you are being charged on that particular card.

5. Make a simple spreadsheet

With all the personal finance sites out there to help you get organized by way of the Internet, it doesn’t necessarily mean you need such bells and whistles to help you declutter your finances.

Financial tracking and organizing software may be as simple as a Excel spreadsheet or Google Doc. The main thing is that you understand the software you are using and that it facilitates the decluttering and knowledge of your finances. All the charts, graphs, and nifty graphics in the world won’t necessarily help you organize your finances. Your ability to make efficient use of those items however, can.

These are my tips for decluttering your finances. What others can you add?

David Boyd writes for CreditCardCompare.com.au where users can compare credit cards, including balance transfer offers that help simplify and declutter your monthly finances.

Why Dating Your Partner Should Be Your New Year’s Resolution

Date Night. You know you should. You know you want to.

How long has it been since you and your partner went out alone together for a lovely date? A month? Six months? Maybe a year?

Who has the time, right? Not to mention the energy!

You logged fifty hours at your job this week, then had to jump on your computer once you were home to check your emails and catch up with your colleagues who are in a different time zone.

Or you spent all day with your small children and can’t find or afford baby-sitting for them while you go on date night. Plus: you’re tired. And you feel bad leaving the kids just so you can go have a good time.

Or perhaps you just prefer couch time at night—a great way to relieve all the stresses of the working day. You’re really into the new American Idol, what with their revamped judging panel featuring J-Lo herself, and be damned if you’re going to miss an episode.

We’ve never been busier as a society, but you have to wonder at what cost.

The truth is, if you don’t take the time for date night, you’ll never have the time for date night.

It’s a matter of prioritizing your relationship as an important part of your life—just as important as work, just as important as spending time with your children—which I know is hard to do when we have so many commitments and so few hours in the day.

How relationship ruts happen

Let’s backtrack for a minute, because relationships never start off in a rut.

When we first fall in love, spending time together is no effort at all. We are like magnets, drawn in to each other again and again while we court.

We have boundless energy, talking for hours late into the night about our hopes, dreams, and fondest moments. We are spontaneous, fun, crazy, and drunk with love.

Well actually, we’re drunk on hormones.

That rush of love you experience is a heady cocktail of feel-good hormones, delivering you these surges of energy. It has even been mapped in a brain scanner by Dr. Helen Fisher, who recently discovered the path love takes for every couple.

At any stage between six and 18 months in every relationship, these hormones quietly and quite naturally fade away, making room for new ones. These new hormones are lovely too, but not quite as flamboyant as that first burst of love.

Instead, they act to bond us to each other, make us devoted to and protective of our partner. In short, these are the hormones we need to sustain a long-term relationship. But unfortunately as they creep in, the energy and bounce of early courtship dissipates. We become much more content to sit on the couch and watch television. We become tired easily and turn into a Boring Old Married Couple.

The danger here is that you start to drift apart, spending less quality time together, not engaging or conversing as often, and growing in opposite directions. This leaves you and your relationship vulnerable to arguments, resentment, and affairs. You are less likely to look after each other or support each other.

If you do have a young family, the unhappy marriage creates extra strain on the family unit.

What’s the good news?

The good news is that we can do something about all of this. Experts agree that the way to keep your marriage a priority is to spend time together.

A regular date night is the most obvious answer. Make date night a ritual. A habit. This date night should be treated like any of your work commitments: given priority and booked in advance.

Here are four easy steps to help you start your date nights as a couple today.

1. Get your partner on board

Let your sweetie know you’d like to spend more quality time with them.

You can sit down and have a frank conversation at home if you think they’ll respond well. Or you can really back up your actions and take them on a surprise date, then talk to them about it there.

Perhaps call them at work and ask if they’d like to have dinner/a picnic/go to the movies with you. Have them meet you at the destination if you can—it will re-conjure memories of your early dates together. See if you can inspire them to agree to make regular date nights happen, no matter what.

2. Decide which night will be date night

Whether you decide together that date night should be every week, every fortnight, or once a month, make it a regular time you can stick to. Then you will know that every Wednesday, for example, should be kept free for date night. Make that time sacred.

Nothing should get in the way of date night—remember, your relationship is now a priority too.

If you absolutely have to schedule something else on date night, call your partner immediately to ask if you can reschedule date night to another night that week.

3. Both of you take responsibility

Take it in turns to organize the night’s activities so that you are taking each other on dates, and not just having one partner do all the work.

4. Do new things every time

Visiting the same old favorite restaurant every week, ordering the same dish from the menu that you know you love? I don’t think so!

What we now know is that simply spending time together is probably not enough to keep your relationship solid. In 2008, Arthur P. Aron found that it is doing new things together as a couple that keeps our relationships alive. Novel experiences shared with your partner spark the same brain chemistry as when you first fell in love—all those exciting, spontaneous hormones we talked about earlier can actually spike again.

It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture every week. Try a new restaurant, a new cuisine, go for a picnic, go ten pin bowling, play pool in a seedy pub … as long as it’s not something you always do, go for it!

Make date night your resolution

Many couples I speak to love the idea of a regular date night, but don’t seem to think they can make it work for them. Or with great intentions, they begin regular date nights but can’t sustain it longer than a few weeks. If there is one New Year’s resolution you keep this year, let it be date night. And if a week or two slips by and you miss a date, don’t worry. Just jump back on the date night horse! Your relationship will thank you for it.

Do you and your partner date each other? Do you think you should? What difference do you think it makes in your relationship?

Cabin Fever Antidotes (Or: How to Feel Great About Your Accomplishments)

This post is by Kirsten Simmons of Multi-Passionate.

Last week, five inches of snow topped by an inch of ice kept my movements confined within a 500-yard radius of my front door.

Image by Dennis Matheson

We’ll pause here so those of you from colder climes can laugh at the large metropolitan city that went into a winter storm with a grand total of ten snow plows and no salt. Done now?

As I was saying, Atlanta’s ice storm singlehandedly cleared my week.

At first, I was excited. “I’ll finish the layout for my new ebook, write the sales page, set up a guest posting campaign to market it, write enough blog posts to get me through the next semester, and go through that book on infectious disease modeling and research that website my supervisor wants me to make,” I thought.

Then, round about mid-week, I hit something of a low. “I still haven’t sent those pitch emails, the modeling book is buried under papers on my desk, I’ve hit a dead end with the website, and I haven’t had a substantial conversation with another human in over 24 hours!”

This continued for about a day, until I realized what was going on and did two things that made all the difference.

I went out and found some human contact

I watched the parking lot until I saw someone come out, then suited up and picked my way across the ice to say hello. We ended up talking for a good twenty minutes, and it turns out he owns a local jewelry gallery and gave me some great advice on marketing my line. But even if it had just been a ten-minute conversation about the weather, the roads, and the continuing lack of ice removal, it would have had the intended effect—I needed human contact to anchor my own life in reality.

I made a list of everything I had done.

You know what? It was a pretty long list. I finished creating a value packed ebook with a snazzy layout; I wrote my first ever sales page, and created a website and a banner to go with it; I reached out to the only other person in my niche to discuss a potential partnership; I read two books and my backlog of Bloomberg Businessweek and National Geographic; I cooked so much food that I ran out of Tupperware; and I spent some time participating over at the Third Tribe forums, where I appear to have made some connections that will last me well into the future.

Not too shabby. And that was just the list from the middle of the week—with four more iced in days to go.

So the next time you feel like beating yourself up about what you haven’t accomplished yet, make a list of what you have. You may well find that your accomplishments add up to more than you think they do.

Kirsten Simmons is the polymath behind Multi-Passionate and Written Insight. Her new e-book, The Multi-Passionate Resume Manual teaches polymaths how to use their passions to create a compelling job application and bypass the entry level.