Turn Off Your Mind to Turn On Your Body

March 3, 2011 by

This post is by Sheila Hart-O’Connor of www.writerathart.com.

“I can’t.”

“This is too hard.”

“I don’t know if I can handle it.”

Six months ago when I began attending Spinning classes at my health club, these were statements that often cycled through my head. Not because I inherently lacked confidence or because I had any physical limitations, but because I was scared of pushing myself. Spinning is a tough workout, and for beginners it can be downright overwhelming.

If you haven’t tried a Spinning class before, it’s much like riding a stationary bike, with the added benefits of a certified instructor, a range of riding “courses”, and energizing music to keep you motivated. Typically, the bike is specially designed for Spinning, equipped with adjustable seats, handles, and pedals to give riders maximum flexibility and comfort. Courses can include long, uphill climbs, heavy resistance, intervals, and “jumping”—moving between the seated position and standing—all while maintaining a target heart rate to help strengthen and challenge your cardiovascular fitness.

As I attended more Spinning classes, I noticed that I was able to maintain a faster pace, ride for longer periods, and even work through heavier resistance. That’s not to say the class ever became easy, but I did overcome small battles each time. But even after a few months, I still experienced periods when my mind wanted to control my progress. When my legs started to hurt, my mind told me that I wanted to slow down. When the ride was tough, I thought I wanted to ease up on the speed. My mind was actually convincing me that working harder just wasn’t possible.

If you think you can’t do it, then you won’t

Finally, one day as we closed in on the last challenge of a long and grueling course, the instructor said to us, “If you think you can’t do it, then you won’t.” At once, I realized she was completely right. I started to wonder, what if I just didn’t think of anything at all, and instead focused my energy on simply moving my body?

Suddenly, pushing through the course wasn’t nearly as difficult. Even after 45 minutes of continuous activity, the pain in my legs was replaced with amazing energy. I felt free from my mind. I felt really alive.

Here’s what I’ve taken away from this experience, and what I continue to use as my fitness mantra: If we decide something is true in our minds, it’s going to dictate the way our bodies react. But if we can learn to turn off our minds and just let our bodies do the work, we quickly realize how much stronger we are physically and, as a result, become stronger mentally.

Have you had the experience of breaking through negative thought to find greater stamina? Share your thoughts with us.

Sheila Hart-O’Connor is a freelance copywriter that enjoys helping businesses and individuals build long-lasting relationships with their customers through effective and relevant online communication. Her work and accomplishments can be viewed online at www.writerathart.com.

5 Tips for Managing Depression During Pregnancy

March 2, 2011 by

This post is by Nsmukundan  of Healthmango.

As pregnant women undergo different kinds of hormonal changes during pregnancy, depression can become an issue. Medical research has revealed that around 10% of women experience depression during their pregnancy. There are various simple natural treatments which can be practiced by every pregnant woman to avoid the complications caused by depression. If this problem is left untreated it can end up affecting both the mother’s and baby’s health.

Here are five easy, effective, natural ways to reduce your risk of depression during pregnancy.

1. Stay social

During pregnancy, some women can feel isolated from friends or family, and this can aggravate depression. It’s very important to stay in touch with friends and family, and to keep busy with activities and people who are helpful or supportive. There are various support and information groups for pregnant women, and mingling in social groups like this is a wonderful way to achieve optimism.

2. Stay stress-free

Among the contributors to depression is stress. It’s a good idea for mums-to-be to identify the actual sources of stress, and try to figure out ways to handle them—perhaps with the help of a trusted friend or counselor. As mental health is so important at the time of pregnancy, pregnant woman might also consider maintaining a distance from stress-causing people or activities.

3. Enjoy a healthy and balanced diet

A pregnant women is recommended to have a healthy and sufficient diet not only for her physical health but also for mental health. Diet can affect hormone and blood sugar levels, which can in turn impact our moods. Eating healthily is an essential element in creating a sense of well-being.

4. Enjoy physical exercise

Regular exercise not only helps a pregnant woman stay fit, but also brings lot of other benefits. Exercise has the power to improve our mood, but it also makes the body more flexible and can be a helpful preparation for the time of delivery. One need not exercise for hours together to handle stress or depression, and pregnant women can enjoy a range of exercise options. For example, prenatal yoga is considered to be highly effective exercise with various benefits for pregnant women.

5. Accessing counseling

At times these treatments may not be all that’s required to lift depression. In such cases, the woman may consider seeking professional support and help to handle their depression. Personal counseling with a professional who has an experience in depression or anger management, and conversation on a regular basis, may help relieve feelings of frustration or depression. This therapy can also help prepare the new mother for the various changes which are on the way.

Have you experienced depression during or after pregnancy? What advice can you add to help other mums?

Nsmukundan is the owner of Healthmango. In his Health Blog he covers all topics related to Health and Fitness. You can find his blog on Twitter @healthmango.

Is Anxiety Killing Your Romance Before it Begins?

March 1, 2011 by

This post is by Brandon Yanofsky of brandonyanofsky.com.

Has the following ever happened to you? You’re on a first date and you begin imagining what your marriage would be like, and maybe what life together would be like. Now you just want this relationship to work, more than anything else. So you call or text the person a few times the next day. No response. So you text or call again. And then you get the dreaded call or text: “I just don’t think it’s going to work.” You realize that if you hadn’t been so eager, things might have gone differently.

This used to happen to me with every potential relationship. But no more.

Here’s how I’ve learned to deal with it. Note that I’m not a relationship specialist. This is simply what works for me and could work for you.

Keeping yourself grounded

The problem is we are letting our thoughts jump out of perspective. How do we know when this is happening? We begin using phrases like, “This is the person of my dreams” right after you meet. We can’t imagine life without this person. We have a constant urge to text or call them.

While these behaviors are all perfectly acceptable as we get further into a relationship, they aren’t acceptable early on. When we first meet someone, we don’t know much about him or her. So what we are doing is projecting what we want that person to be like. We are falling for an imagined version of this person, not for the actual person.

Here’s why this is a problem. When I used to become infatuated with a girl within the first or second date, one of two things would happen:

  • I became so infatuated with her that she was turned off. People need time to feel each other out. And if one person comes on too strong, it can easily turn the other off.
  • I had these images of how the relationship should be. And if we did establish a relationship, it never lived up to my imagination and soon failed.

How can you stay grounded?

When our thoughts are out of perspective in the beginning of a relationship, we need to remind ourselves:

  1. I should get to know this person before making any judgments. Don’t let your mind run wild and create an imagined persona for this person.
  2. Whether I date this person or not, I will be the same person. Don’t let a relationship define who you are. Realize that if it doesn’t work out, you will be no different. And if it does work out, you will still be no different.
  3. The way I’m thinking right now isn’t rational. Sometimes, just reminding yourself that you’re thinking irrationally is enough to bring you back to rationality.
  4. Is this really that big a deal? This is a great way to help relieve the pressure you are putting on yourself. At the moment of the pressure, the situation feels like a life or death situation. Asking yourself, “Does this really matter?” helps bring the situation back into perspective.

Doesn’t this ruin the spirit of love?

You may be saying to yourself, “But I believe in love at first sight.”

I say, “If you want love at first sight to work, you have to keep your emotions in check at first.” Here’s what I mean. An average person who begins dating has their figurative love emotions at a level of 5 (out of 10). When we let our thoughts get out of perspective, our love emotions are now at a level of 9 or 10, and this isn’t healthy.

Telling ourselves such things as, “This isn’t really that big a deal,” can help bring our emotions down to a healthy level.

And don’t worry about becoming numb to love. Using this thought technique will never make your emotions drop below a 5. The gushy, lovey-dovey reason for that is that no matter how hard we try, we can never disrupt true love.

Could this be why your love life isn’t adequate?

If you’d like to read more articles by Brandon Yanofsky, read his blog on anxiety relief.

Why Happily Ever After is Just a Fairytale

February 28, 2011 by

Happily ever after? That’s just a fairytale. And it’s not only Disney that continues to perpetuate the myth. Hollywood has played its part too.

We are saturated with images of happy couples at the end of movies—after a few stumbling blocks early on in the relationship, there is a culmination of soaring violins, and a promise that the two went on to live happily ever after, together, forever. Smooth sailing and blue skies, cute bunnies and rainbows.

It’s simply not possible.

Sourced from Djsumma.com

The first problem with this scenario is that it makes us think that if we’ve found “the one,” there will never be another problem again. That person “completes us” and “makes us happy,” and it all happens seamlessly.

So of course, at the first sign of a problem in our relationship we stop, and we begin to question. Maybe this isn’t meant-to-be love. Maybe we got it wrong. Maybe “the one” is still out there somewhere!

So we move on to our next princess or knight in shining armor, looking for the package deal that comes complete with a white picket fence.

Let me tell you now, if you’re looking for perfection, it does not exist. What you may need is a readjustment of your expectations.

Author Lori Gottlieb had the realization too late, prompting her to write controversial piece: Marry Him! The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough.

At 40, Gottlieb found herself still single, mother to a child she had conceived via sperm donation, and still seeking Mr. Right.

On reflection, she decided that any number of men she’d dated in the past would have been suitable for her. At the time, though, she discarded them because they didn’t tick enough of her boxes.

It’s a story repeated many times over in this world: people wait for their perfect match only to discover that person’s never coming. Or they got snatched up by someone else years ago.

Perhaps a little compromise of ideals is in order. It’s almost a dirty word: compromise. But it really doesn’t have to be.

I gave comment on this very subject in an insightful piece, “True Romance,” that Rachel Hills wrote for Sunday Life Magazine.

If a potential love interest checks even 50% of your tick-boxes, then there is potential to build a loving, solid relationship from there. Just because a person isn’t as sporty or as literary as you might have dreamed is no reason to discard them upfront.

There are, of course, some things one should never compromise on. You must have the same moral values, family values, and similar goals in life.

Everything else? That’s negotiable.

No matter who you end up with, you will have to work hard at creating a relationship. There will be ups and there will be downs, there will be happy and sad and frustrating times. But that’s what makes a relationship a journey.

And that’s why I wouldn’t even want happily ever after. That’s the romantic equivalent of a road trip on a straight, flat freeway.  Give me a picturesque mountain range any day.

FeelGooder Asks: Who’s Been in Your Thoughts this Week?

February 25, 2011 by

There’s a lot going on around the world at the moment, so I thought I’d ask:

Who’s Been in Your Thoughts this Week?

The people of North Africa, particularly Libya, have been in my thoughts this week. This latest uprising of civilians striving for true democratic rule is awe-inspiring.

Some children who've benefited from the work of CBM

Here in Australia, we take democracy for granted. It’s easy to forget how important it is, and what it represents for those who don’t have it. The Libyan people, en masse, are willing to fight—really fight—for something that they believe in, as are the people of Tunisia, Bahrain, Egypt, and other countries engaged in protest.

Few of us are lining up to do the same here, but some are.

Someone else who’s bee in my thoughts this week is Darren, who’s off to Tanzania to participate in, and bring attention to, the work of a non-profit organization CBM, which is running a Comprehensive Community Based Rehabilitation program there.

While this is a different example of action, CBM’s and Darren’s work is another inspiring case of individuals being willing to commit to action in order to make a difference.

All these people are now engaged in taking sometimes radical, often challenging steps, and accepting personal responsibility to alter the status quo. I’ve been thinking a lot about these people over the last week. They make this seem a very hopeful time.

What about you? Who’s been in your thoughts this week?

What Running a Marathon Taught Me About Running a Business

February 24, 2011 by

This post is by Suellen Hughes of www.transforme.com.au

As a marathon runner, I often find myself thinking about my business while I’m out training. Using training time to listen to business related podcasts or work through business challenges is a good use of the time and a nice distraction.

Image is author's own

Recently a mentor said to me “running a business is like running a marathon—not a sprint” and that got me thinking about what other lessons I could draw from my running to apply to my business.

There are some obvious similarities like the need to have a vision, long and short term goals, a plan, and the metrics to tell you whether or not you’re on track.

There are also a few less-obvious lessons to be drawn.

Interval training is uncomfortable but worth the pain

Interval training at its most basic involves running at a fast pace, close to maximum exertion, for a short distance, then recovering for a short while, then repeating a number of times, aiming for the same or better pace. It’s also sometimes called Fartlek training—don’t you just love that word?

What’s the benefit?

The main aim of interval training is to improve cardiovascular fitness or Vo2 Max—the body’s capacity to transport and use oxygen during exercise—which is important for running 42.2kms (26.2miles). Without interval training, runners can end up running at the same comfortable pace and they don’t improve. They become what’s known as “one-pace plodders.”

What’s business lesson?

If you want to improve, sometimes you need to get out of your comfort zone.

To improve and grow your business, you need to try new things. This doesn’t mean embracing innovation or change for the sake of it. What it does mean is: add something challenging into the mix. If your business isn’t growing as fast as you’d like, try something different. You might feel uncomfortable, but if you keep doing the same old things year in and year out, you risk stagnating or, worse still, failing.

It’s hard to fit the training in, but if you don’t, you’ll pay the price on race day

Training for a marathon takes a lot of time. Typical marathon training plans start at least ten weeks prior to the event, with some beginning up to 18 weeks beforehand. Although plans vary depending on the runner’s level and goals, they all include a gradual increase in the number of miles covered each week and the duration of “the long run.” For most runners, training includes for or five runs every week, including a long run of three to four hours. Training sessions need to be scheduled.

What’s the benefit?

Having a training plan to follow means that you can work out when you’ll do your training sessions, how long each session will take, and when you need to juggle to fit training around other life events. The training plan has an end goal and a fixed date: the marathon.

What’s the business lesson?

You need to plan and schedule activities to get it all done.

Solopreneurs and small business owners don’t often have (m)any staff to delegate to. There is so much to get done, and it can be overwhelming. Setting short term goals, then scheduling the activities needed to reach them, makes the unachievable seem doable.

If you don’t schedule, then you’ll end up not doing enough, putting off the hard or unpleasant tasks (like chasing payments), or never finding the time to do the critical but less-urgent activities that require a lot of time and determine future success (like creating new products).

Marathons are as much mental as physical

Sure, a marathon runner needs to be in good physical shape. Without the basic physical conditioning, it’s unlikely that the runner will complete the event. However, as all marathon runners tell you, once you hit the 30-35km (18-22miles) mark, it becomes as much a mental game as a physical one.

What’s the benefit?

Being mentally prepared as well as physically capable will result in a successful marathon.

What’s the business lesson?

Having the right mindset is as important as the right skill or product set.

Running a successful business is not only about having the business know-how and the right products and services. It’s also about being mentally prepared; being self-confident in your abilities; being able to talk yourself through the pain of missing out on that big contract; charging what you’re worth; and standing on a stage and asking people to sign up for your program.

Race day conditions are not always ideal but the race goes on anyway

Marathons take place in all weather conditions: torrential rain, heatwaves, snow storms, you name it. Some marathons are road races, others off track. Some are flat, some hilly. Marathons don’t get canceled because it’s a few degrees hotter than ideal. The same should apply to training. Don’t miss a session because it’s raining—use it as an opportunity to test possible race day conditions

What’s the benefit?

Marathons are about endurance. It’s about competing in an extremely physically and mentally challenging event. It’s about finding a way to push through and cross the finish line.

What’s the business lesson?

We need to make our businesses work even when we’re faced with less than ideal conditions.

We might not have the budget to market our business the way we’d like. We might be feeling a bit under the weather the day we have to make that important presentation. We will have our ups and downs. Regardless, we need to find a way to push ahead. You can’t just cancel a product launch, a major customer event, or a new opening because the conditions are not ideal. Push ahead. Find a way to make it work.

There are lots of competitors but you need to run your own race

Arriving on race day at the starting area, you are surrounded by other runners. The line up for the Port-a-Loos (Port-a-Potty) is horrendous! Everyone is all kitted out and looks fit. Your stomach is full of butterflies and the adrenalin starts pumping. The important thing is to run your own race!

What’s the benefit?

It’s easy to get caught up in what others are doing and go out too fast, only to suffer later. You need to stick to your race plan and trust in yourself.

What’s the business lesson?

The only way to compete is to be in the race.

There will always be competitors. Some will be better than us. Some won’t make it. Strong competitors give us something to aspire to. Some will sneak up and overtake us. Someone has to come last, but next year, they’ll be better.

The final word goes not to a runner but to cyclist Lance Armstrong:

“Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.”

Suellen Hughes is a wife, mother, fit forty something, lover of life, marathon runner and Chief Kick Starter of www.transforme.com.au. She mentors gutsy, motivated people who are fed up with the daily grind, to kick start their own lifestyle change.

The Simple Secret to Overcoming Life’s Pitfalls

February 23, 2011 by

My last article here turned out to be a great success, so I’m back again. For those of you who missed the post, I wrote about how I was able to completely turn my life around from being broke and miserable to working for myself and loving each day. Though my post may have made it sound like I live some amazing existence, life certainly isn’t all plain sailing for me.

In fact, just like anyone, I certainly go through low points now and then. As we were nearing the end of 2010, a few of mine all collided at once. The first thing that hit me was the inevitable breakup I knew I would have to go through with my long-term girlfriend. As much as I cared about her, I knew she wasn’t the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.

Though the person on the “receiving end” of a breakup will claim it’s definitely the worst side to be on, I think it’s just as difficult to be the person that ends it. My decision had came after thinking about the situation for a long time, and wasn’t just some overnight impulse.

On top of that, I was coming to the end of the lease on my apartment, with no replacement in sight. In the space of two weeks, I viewed over 20 places, and fell in love with many. Three days in a row (I didn’t even know this was possible) when I was supposed to move into consecutive properties, the process fell through on the actual moving day. To say the whole thing was frustrating and stressful is an understatement.

In a glimmer of hope, I ended up finding a place I liked. It was in the area I wanted to be in, came with two swimming pools and was close by to many of my friends. I wasn’t worried that the place was completely unfurnished, as I thought it would be fun to decorate it however I wanted. It seemed like things might be looking up for me.

Then, my bank account was frozen.

I couldn’t access a single penny of my own funds. Since I’m in South Africa, my UK bank closed access to my online banking as they were worried about potential online fraud. Despite the fact that they do this to me once per month, calling them didn’t actually resolve the issue for once. They wanted me to send them a hand written letter, back to the UK.

For two weeks straight, I slept on the floor in my new living room. I had no fridge, no TV, no sofa. Nothing.

Dealing with all of this after the end of my relationship and a frantic two weeks of apartment hunting left me feeling exhausted. Despite these struggles, I wasn’t miserable at all. In fact, those few weeks were some of the greatest I’ve had.

The “old Glen” definitely wouldn’t have felt like this. But the new Glen possessed a secret that helped me get through all of this with ease. The secret is this…

You must just keep pushing forward with something

The things that happened to me would probably get a lot of people down. I know they would have affected the person I was just a few months before the event. I believe the reason for this is that we’re constantly striving to go forward in areas of our lives, so when that forward momentum stops or slows down, it’s a blow to our emotions.

When you come out of a long-term relationship, you feel like you’re back at square one. Was the time you spent with another person completely wasted?

When the apartments I was supposed to move into were out of reach, I felt like I had wasted all of the time putting the deals into place.

And finally, when I was sleeping on my living room floor in pitch darkness, I definitely didn’t feel like I was taking my life in the right direction.

Yet, I was. Because the “secret” I possessed allowed me to keep focusing on going forward with something. As long as you’re taking one aspect of your life in the right direction, then in my experience, it can completely overshadow all of the negativity you’re feeling.

For me, it was focusing on my business and my health. These are two things that I can work on where the more I put into them, the more I’ll get out of them. For you, it may be learning a language, playing an instrument, or something else you’re working towards.

When a friend of mine came out of a nine-year relationship, she was devastated. Instead of dwelling on the hand she was left with, she hired a personal trainer, renovated her house, and took up weekly dance classes. After a few weeks, I had never seen her happier.

Just a few days ago I received an email from one of my students who is now making $3,000 per month online which enables them to pursue their dreams of being a professional drummer. Absolutely nothing can get me down on days when I receive messages like that. And they’re just a result of me moving forward with something (in this case, my business) in order to help others as much as possible.

So, whenever you feel like things aren’t going your way, just place your attention on something you can dictate. Something that will allow you to see forward progress. Can you start eating healthier? Can you research into ways to make more money? Can you become an early-riser?

It doesn’t matter what the thing is. It just matters that you enjoy doing it, and you see progress happening.

Setting Goals as a Couple

February 22, 2011 by

I believe relationships need to be run a little bit like businesses.

Aside from the weekly meetings (aka “date night”), the lodging of the finances (“You spent how much on shoes?”…“They were an important marketing expense!”), and the internal memos (“Please pick the towels up from the bathroom floor. Sincerely, the CEO”), there is one outstandingly obvious thing that both businesses and relationships need to function efficiently:

A Vision Statement.

Couples—like any team—work best when they have goals to work towards.

Without them, partners tend to flounder around like blind mole rats, bumping into walls, falling by the wayside, and such things.

Whether it’s a wedding, a house, or a dream holiday, I firmly believe couples that have goals to work towards together, flourish. A goal keeps you on the same track, and it gives you a sense of purpose and, ultimately, achievement.

Quite naturally, couples in the early stages of relationships will have regular goals stretching in front of them. Moving in together, finding houses, planning weddings,  and having children are all possible tick-boxes from early on in couplehood.

But after those things have been accomplished, what do we really have to bring us together?

Perhaps it’s time for the annual business planning retreat.

Just to be clear, in life you will have your own personal goals—these should still be honored as your own private things to work on separately from your relationship goals.

A relationship goal is something that inspires the both of you. It’s something big that you can both plan for and look forward to together.

Of course, all good goals are SMART. Be specific about what you’re trying to achieve together, and make sure the end result is measurable (how will you know when you’ve made it to your goal?), achievable, and realistic (nothing is more defeating than not being able to make a goal you set yourself! Make sure you don’t ask too much of yourselves!), as well as timely (when will you have your goal completed by?).

I think ideally when it comes to time frame, your relationship goal should be something you can complete within 12 months to two years. Once it’s been achieved, sit down together and work out a new one.

Participate in a marathon, triathlon, or bike ride

If you’re active types, sit down together and pick an upcoming event—a fun run, a walk, a bike ride, or a triathlon—and set up a training schedule together. You’ll spend time each week working towards your fitness goals as a team, motivating each other, and training together.

The adrenalin rush of competing on the day will last long past the finish line! Plus, think of all the fun you could have with your (very toned) bodies once it’s over!

Plan a holiday

Make it more than just a holiday—plan your dream holiday! Start by dreaming together over a stack of travel brochures … if you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go? What would you do when you got there? How much money would you need to take?

Sourced from Confessions of a Beach Bum

Put all the wheels in motion—set up your goals for the trip, visit the travel agent, and work out what you need to do to make it happen!

And save. Set up a separate bank account called “Our Holiday” and schedule a savings plan. It may not be a reality straight away, but if you don’t start now, when will you?

Learn a language

Pick a language that the both of you would love to learn but never have.

Perhaps a language of love? Italian, French and Spanish are all very sexy choices! Or learn the language of a place you’d love to visit together one day. Sign yourselves up to a community college class together. You’ll be perfect study partners, spending nights on the couch whispering sweet nothings in foreign tongues!

Take a class together

Find a short course in something that interests you both. The options are endless!

Photography, music, dancing, wine and food appreciation, yoga … check out your local community college or adult education establishment to see what they offer. Learning new things together sparks dopamine and norephrithrane hormones, patterning the same brain chemistry as when you first fell in love. That means you’ll be high on tummy-butterflies for weeks to come!

Boost your savings

Boost Your Savings

Name a figure you want to see in your bank account, then work towards it! Decide what it’s for, and make it something that you both want, be it a deposit on a house, a big-ticket furniture item, or a car. Sit down and develop a savings plan that works for the both of you.

Make sure that once you hit your dream figure and purchase your goal item, you celebrate in style together! Take some of that hard-earned cash and splash out on a romantic night for two!

Do you and your partner set goals together? What’s been your favorite?

FeelGooder Asks: What Mountains Did You Move this Week?

February 18, 2011 by

Remember the festive season? Doesn’t that seem like it was a long time ago? We’re well and truly into the thick of things now. And I bet you, like I, moved more than a few mountains this week. We’d love to hear about them!

What mountains did you move this week?

For me, this week’s mountain was work-related.

My desk in a rare neat moment

As a freelancer, I have this idea that I’m supposed to get to choose the types of work I do. But sometimes I’ll get sucked into a project that I’m not excited about—without even realizing it.

In the last few weeks I started seeing the potential for this to happen with one of my clients. Many of us have trouble saying “no”—especially in terms of work—and in the last week I had to face that challenge and somehow negotiate my way out of a project without offending a great client or reducing my prospects of working with them in future.

It was tough, but I think I managed it! And I’m really excited about having freed up some time to spend on projects that should be a whole lot of fun.

What mountains have you moved this week? We’d love to hear about them!

Change Your Love Life on Your Lunch Break

February 17, 2011 by

This post is by Dennis Miedema of Win With Women.

Imagine combining work and dating so you could meet your very own Angelina Jolie while you’re still climbing the corporate ladder. Wouldn’t that be a dream come true?

Let’s face it: it’s frustrating to come home to an empty, lonely house, only to realize that your job is so soul-sucking that you have zero energy left to go out and meet women.

But what if there was a way to combine work and dating? Imagine not driving home, but floating home, feeling proud that you put in 40+ hours of work this week and still managed to get a few phone numbers and dates.

Step1: Quit the routines

Do you remember how many people wore red last time you went to the store? No? No one does.

If you repeat any activity often enough, it becomes a routine, and that means you stop paying attention to it. Daily routines, obligations, and morning rituals are all routines.

Routines are bad news if you want to combine work and dating. Why? Because you don’t realize what’s going on around you. You programmed yourself to do one thing, and that’s it.

The result: you walk right past that cute brunette you could have talked to if you were paying attention. You didn’t even see her, did you?

There are lots of times when this happens: on your way to work, during lunch break, on your way home, on your way to the supermarket … The list goes on, and on, and on.

If you want to combine work and dating, then make practical use of your time. Talk to women on your way to work, during your lunch break, and so on.

Cut the routines. Start looking around again. Wake up!

Step 2: Start talking

What do us men do when women look our way? Often, we assume they’re looking at someone or something behind us. Or that they accidentally looked our way. Or maybe even that we must look funny somehow.

The average human eye needs less than half a second to recognize its surroundings. Within a second our body reacts to what we see.

So when that fine lady over there looks your way for longer than a second, it means something. It means she could be interested. All you have to do is smile, and if she smiles back? Start talking.

While you’re worrying about how you’ll feel if you walk up to a woman and find she doesn’t want to talk to you, keep this in mind: most of us human beings feel rejected when we make eye contact with others, and they don’t act on it. It’s worth the risk: I promise. Count the number of times a day when women look your way for a couple seconds. You’ll be surprised—shocked even. You can meet all of them if you want to!

Fellas, wake up and start seeing what’s going on. And do something useful with your lunch time and your commute, won’t you?

Dennis Miedema is known for sharing no-nonsense tips for men to improve their love life and social life on his Win With Women blog, for his coffee and movie addictions, and for his brutal sarcasm that makes even the crappiest moments in life put a smile on your face.

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