This post is by Alexis Bonari of College Scholarships.

From what my dad says, getting me to help in the kitchen was like pulling teeth.

Although the film Ratatouille inspired me during college to try my hand at French and Italian cooking—and now can’t keep me from the kitchen—the first few lessons there were the hardest. I’d never learned them in a family environment! Teaching children early on the rewards of helping out in the kitchen will not only prepare them for the future, it will create fond memories of the past.

Eight reasons to cook with kids

Here are eight reasons to cook with kids—and a few ways to make it work.

1. It’s fun

Generally speaking, younger children want nothing more than to be with their parents. Take advantage of this glued-to-your-side phase and show them that helping in the kitchen can be both fun and rewarding. This way, when they’re older and they can take a more active role in helping around the kitchen and the house, they’ll be happier to do it.

2. Clean hands

Teach children the importance of hygiene early in life (as early as age two). To this end, try buying or making natural, vegetable-based soaps in the shapes of animals to make the activity fun. Also, consider buying nice ribbons or elastics to encourage children to tie their hair back in the kitchen; alternatively, spend some parent-child time together by braiding each other’s hair.

3. Math skills

Teach children simple math by using measuring tools or even counting the number of ingredients that go in a bowl. For older children, fractions and conversions (i.e. two half cups equal one whole cup) will come in handy in math class.

4. Green habits

It’s the perfect opportunity to teach children about the importance of organic eating and why pesticides can harm both them and the environment. If given this knowledge early on, children will be more likely to take better care of their bodies during school lunches, after school, and even during college when you can’t be around 24 hours a day.

5. Say “no” to stereotypes

Go ahead and invite both your son and your daughter into the kitchen. Kick those gender stereotypes under the refrigerator and teach your kids that, no matter their sex, they’re both going to have to cook for themselves when they leave the house for college.

6. Responsibility

Teach children accountability from an early age by asking them to clean up after themselves, put dirty dishes in the dishwasher, and put away clean dishes into the cabinets—whether or not you’re around when the mess is made. Reward them with a fun activity when they clean up without being asked. This way, they’ll clean up after their rowdy high school parties when you parents go away for the weekend…

7. Multi-tasking

Yes, Johnny and Jane take twice as long to set the table and stir the bowls as you do, but consider this: you’re helping them learn lifelong lessons in a matter of minutes. Of course, this heart-warming logic doesn’t compute every evening, so try this: delegate jobs to children they can perform while you’re doing something else. In example, they can still set the table, but have them do it while you’re chopping vegetables instead of waiting until dinner’s out of the oven.

8. Self-esteem

Lavishing children with praise is only going to do so much for their self-esteem if they don’t get their hands dirty every once in a while. Standing side-by-side with a parent in the kitchen, contributing to a family dinner, or making a PB&J all by themselves are great ego-boosts.

8 Ways to Cook with Kids

1. Give each child a different task each time so no one is stuck with a task he or she doesn’t enjoy.
2. Reward children for helpful behavior with activities rather than food (which can later develop into eating disorders in some cases). Go see a movie together, read in bed, spend extra time at the park, or visit the ferrets at Petco on the way home from school.
3. Even though some children may be too young to handle a knife, try giving them a plastic or metal butter knife with which to cut up strawberries, bananas, cheese, and other soft foods.
4. A child as young as two can spread marinara sauce on pizza dough.
5. Have children arrange vegetables on mini-pizzas to make faces.
6. There’s something oddly therapeutic about peeling potatoes. Leave this job for an older child who’s been taught to use a peeler safely.
7. The same goes for watching a bowl of inconsistent, eggy mush turn into a smooth paste. Let younger children (around four or five years old) use a spoon and older ones (pre-teens) use hand-mixers.
8. Instruct children to wash or scrub produce before using them in a dish. This is the perfect opportunity to talk about germs, pesticides, and the importance of organic food for human as well as the planet’s health.

Do you get your kids into the kitchen? I’d love to hear your tips below.

Alexis Bonari is currently a resident blogger at College Scholarships, where recently she’s been researching the best college application essay tips as well as looking at various college grants by degree. Whenever she gets some free time, she enjoys doing yoga, cooking for fun, and practicing the art of coupon clipping.

We spoke last week about Surviving an Affair. I was talking about the topic with a friend over coffee the other day and another great offshoot of it came up: the Emotional Affair.

These are affairs that you may not even realize you’re having. Because technically, you’re not breaking any rules. There’s been no swapping of saliva, no one’s seen anyone naked (except maybe in your daydreams) … you may tell yourself you’re just good friends, even though you know you’re thinking about this person a bit too much.

If this all sounds familiar and you think you’re not doing anything dangerous, you’d be wrong.

Not only are these affairs the precursor to a full-blown, rolling-between-the-sheets adulterous kind, but even if you never get to that stage, you’ve already broken your partner’s trust.

How? You’re getting your emotional needs met by someone else, and in the process you are probably lying to your partner about the nature of this “friendship” you spend so much time on.

According to The Emotional Affair, there are three things every emotional affair has in common:

Emotional intimacy: Transgressors share more of their inner self, frustrations, and triumphs than with their spouses. They are on a slippery slope when they begin sharing the dissatisfaction with their marriage with a co-worker.

Secrecy and deception: They neglect to say, We meet every morning for coffee. Once the lying starts, the intimacy shifts farther away from the marriage.

Sexual chemistry: Even though the two may not act on the chemistry, there is at least an unacknowledged sexual attraction.

An emotional affair often starts as a friendship, perhaps with a co-worker or with a long-lost friend you’ve reconnected with on Facebook.

Your partner may not feel like they have a right to put an end to your “friendship” with this person. They might not even be aware that there’s anything going on. You may have made them believe that their intuitive jealousy is petty.

You may have been telling yourself that you’re not doing anything wrong. But if the above sounds familiar, then you need to stop. Now. Before it gets worse.

Emotional affairs may not be about sex, but you’re definitely looking for something. Instead of looking outside your relationship, pour all that energy back into refocusing on your partner and your connection with them. Before you make a big mistake.

Have you had, or heard of, an emotional affair? What are your thoughts?

This post was written by Dan Blakely of Simplicity Tree.

Do you ever feel like you’re on auto-pilot? A lot of us move through life and simply pass by the moments of joy without pausing, forgetting to unplug. Instead we look forward toward the future. Well, I suggest that the next time your son scores a run, your spouse finishes that piece of art or you see your daughter finally mastering the art of zipping her own coat that you pause for a moment… Look at the expression on their faces and memorize it. Smell the air—is it sweet or fresh? Take it all in.

Creating memories as your currency

Memorize all the salient details of that moment, because these are truly the diamonds of our lives, to be absorbed into the deepest parts of our soul. These are the moments we will look back to in times of grief, the moments we will see in our mind’s eye in times of gentle reflection. These are the memories we will most fondly recall at the end of our days. These are the currency of our souls!

Many people spend much of their lives chasing money or trying to keep up with the fabled Joneses. Do we really need the excessive amounts of money and things that Americans pursue daily? I think you know my answer. Instead, why not spend our time chasing these precious, fleeting moments or arranging our lives so that we create these simple memories with our loved ones as frequently as possible?

This may mean different things—it could be changing careers, reevaluating what is important, or simply eliminating that nasty habit of multi-tasking. Strive for this on a daily basis, and you will be personally richer.

The only investment is you

The simple beauty of this approach is that these memories come at virtually no cost other than the investment of our time, attention to the moment, and dedication to our loved ones. I would argue we owe this to our loved ones anyway. We owe it to them to live in the moment—and we owe it to ourselves to be fully present and absorb the warm richness of these experiences. We deserve these memories. We deserve to live without regrets.

We all have the capacity to achieve this mindset—we just need the right motivation and determination to turn it into reality. However, that motivation and determination are very personal to each of us and they are necessary ingredients for change. You may not have one or both of these ingredients today but as you continue to explore, you will find a time when they do—and you will finally make a breakthrough. The point is that you have to mentally be ready to make this change, and have a reason to persevere.

Tips to get in the moment

I am confident that each of us can do more to be present in the moment and live more. However, making changes stick takes time and patience. The good news is that here, the rewards really are unlimited. If you are having a hard time thinking about how to live more in the moment, here are a few ideas that might help you get started.

Live in the present moment and focus on details

There were times in the past when I’d arrive at work and couldn’t remember the commute, or I’d attend a school event for one of my kids and just think about when it would be over. This is mostly a thing of the past for me, but I still slip at times. When I do, I simply take a deep breath and refocus on the world and people around me.

I try hard to stay intent in the moment and these days, I notice details that a couple of years ago I would not have: the smell of a fireplace on a foggy morning, simple colors on the horizon on a crisp spring morning, or my daughter’s beautiful smile as she talks to her friends after school.

Be emotionally available to others

My wife often tells me that I have to take the time to take care of myself in order for me to take care of others. (She’s smart! I knew I married her for good reason!) Point is that I often get into ruts of not taking the time to recharge my own energy levels. Over a period of time, that can drain my energy and make me negative and impatient.

I now take time to rejuvenate my mind and body so that I can be available for others.

Foster relationships based on love, compassion, and openness

Closely tied to the idea of being emotionally available is our approach to the people around us. For me, this really boils down to being positive, patient, and thoughtful about the circumstances that others may unfortunately find themselves in. It means holding back judgment of others and trying to grasp a better understanding of their particular situation or point of view.

I try to avoid the haters and trolls, as those types of people just pull me into a place that I do not want to be.

Approach life from a perspective of abundance

Being raised in a competitive environment, I operated for much of my life from the belief that everything in life was a competition. You were either a winner or loser, a have or a have-not. Although true with sports to some degree, it does not have to be that way in life.

In the past I would have thought there was only one promotion and I had to “win” it, but now I look at the world differently. That promotion is just one of numerous choices and if I do not get it, there will be other opportunities.

Have a singular focus to absorb the beauty of these fleeting moments

I now avoid multi-tasking and stay in tune with what I am doing. This singular focus has been key for me—I am more efficient and more productive, and I output higher quality results. In the past, I had been known to have my Blackberry in one had responding to an email while having a conversation with my wife. Not any more. Now I work hard to do and focus on one thing at a time.

These are just ideas though—it’s what works for me. This is a home-cooking recipe so mix it up to meet your needs and your personality.

The art of being present needs to be mastered by you based on your personal situation. However, the most important ingredient that must always be there is you must focus on being present in the moment. Not on your cell, not on your laptop, not watching TV—you need to be engaged with the humans around you.

Are you present in your life?

This article was written by Dan Blakely. Dan is the author of Simplicity Tree—a simple living blog focused on living in a simple, thoughtful and sustainable way. You can follow Dan on Twitter at @SimplicityTree.

This post is by Bernice Wood of Living the Balanced Life.

When you come up against negative things in life, what do you do? Most of us react. We do the first thing that comes to mind. It’s probably not the right thing. We may also feel rising negative emotions that can get the best of us.

On the other hand, if we are a little more secure, with a degree of emotional intelligence, we will probably respond instead of react.

“What’s the difference?” you may ask.

According to Dictionary.com:

• to react: to act in an opposing or contrary manner
• to respond: to react favorably

Let’s look at a common way these words—respond and react—are used.

Image by taiyofj, licensed under Creative Commons

When you take an antibiotic for an illness, you are hoping for your body to respond to the medicine: to act accordingly, to have a positive effect on your body, to create change for the good.

If, however, your body reacts, or has a reaction (sometimes known as an allergic reaction) to the medicine, it is rebelling against it. It doesn’t want it, it is rejecting it, and acting harshly because of it.

Now, obviously, we can’t control whether our bodies respond or react to medication. We would all hope for response rather than reaction.

However, we can have control over whether we respond or react to the negative things that come our way.

5 Ways to respond instead of react

1. Take a deep breath and tell yourself this is not a personal attack.
2. Realize that what has happened has already happened, and you cannot change that fact. All you can do is move forward from this point.
3. Decide what your next steps or words will be in this situation.
4. See if there is anything you need to do differently to avoid this in the future, or is there something you need to learn from this experience?
5. Release the occurrence to God, the universe, or whomever you need to, and move on.

Understanding this process has been very helpful to me as I work to overcome a mental meltdown last year and lingering anxiety. One short sentence has helped me very much:

Whatever is, is.

What helps you to respond, rather than react?

Bernice Wood is Mom to 4 young adults and Nana to 7 grandchildren. She began blogging to journal her personal struggles and life changes, and she recently launched Living the Balanced Life to help others avoid the pitfalls of stress and burnout and learn to live a more healthy life.

This article caught my eye last week. The writer’s close friend has found out her husband is having an affair. Instead of kicking him to the curb like most people around her are advising, she has decided to fight for their marriage.

She doesn’t have much support in this decision from her family and friends. It’s understandable—I often find that, in matters of the heart, your nearest and dearest are more loyal to you than you are to yourself. But then she is the one that loves her husband, and sometimes love is not able to be rationalized.

She has decided to try and forgive, which blows me away. Not least because I don’t think I could do it.

What a huge job this woman is undertaking.

Not only does she have to try and rebuild trust with the man that already did her wrong (harder almost than starting a new relationship, and trusting someone new with your heart) but she also has to rebuild her own self-esteem.

On one hand, they have children together, and many experts say that if the partners really can work it out and move on to a future relationship that isn’t full of hateful conflict, it can be better for the family in the long run than cutting your losses and leaving.

Some experts even maintain that a marriage can be stronger and better for having recovered from an affair.

To stay or to go is obviously a very personal decision. I think most people have an instinctive and knee-jerk reaction to infidelity.

I’ve always, always said adultery is a deal-breaker for me. Reader comments on the article reflect others with the same opinion. “Denise needs to get some self esteem,” says the first one off the bat. In the past, I would have tended to agree.

But the more I read into Denise’s story, and the more I started researching, the less sure I am about the cut-and-run approach, and the more impressed I am at her courage to stay.

Her story reminded me of that of Laura Munson, who refused to let her husband divorce her even though he wanted to leave the family.

Online, I found another woman who had been through adultery describe it: “He decided to leave me for a season of our marriage.”

I liked the connotation—marriage is a long, convoluted journey. For one season, her husband wasn’t up for the commitment. He has since recommitted and they seem like they’ve moved past it. The marriage endures.

Dr. Gary Neuman has found that the number one reason men cheat is because of an emotional disconnect at home. It’s not about the sex, or that the mistress is younger, or more attractive, it’s about them being dissatisfied with the emotional state of their relationship.

While Dr. Neuman hasn’t done studies on why women cheat, many websites cite the same reason. Emotional disconnect, feeling unloved, and feeling rejected.

In light of that, I think most people who have experienced infidelity could probably look at that and say. “Yes, my relationship could have done with some work to keep it stronger.” Or, “Yes, we did let the intimacy slide.”

They say it takes two to tango. That isn’t to condone the adulterous behavior, but if you can identify a reason for that infidelity, and one that you, personally, have some control over, you might begin to see how you could work it out together.

For anyone who finds themselves having to deal with this unfortunate situation, then one thing I would absolutely recommend is seeking professional help to deal with it. Adultery is simply too big and too complicated to tackle alone.

Without knowing what you’re supposed to do next, it can become bigger than you. Every fight can turn into: “Well, who cares what I did because you had an affair!” and that’s not forgiveness—that’s resentment.

Both partners have to want to rebuild, and both have to commit to working at it.

The most important thing to remember, if you find your partner is cheating, is that you don’t have to make a decision abut staying or going right away. Not today, and maybe not even tomorrow.

Take the time to vent, hurt, cry, and scream. Release all the grief that comes out. And then you will have a clearer head and can make a more rational choice about the future of your relationship.

Then you need to open the lines of communication, with help, and start to rebuild from the ground up.

Do you think you have it in you to forgive an affair?