Living a “Normal Life” with a Mental Illness

This post is by Jade of jadecraven.com.

Not so long ago, I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. It took a couple of years to be able to function on a day-to-day level. It took even longer to combine a “normal life” with self-employment.

All of us face life-changing situations to which we have to adapt. The following tips have helped me find happiness, and get my act together despite having to manage regular flare-ups of my mental illness.

Accept that your goals may take longer to achieve

I used to be really ambitious. I was that annoying kid who always got good grades, and did extracurricular activities. I assumed that academic and financial success would naturally follow.

Wrong. I started showing signs of severe anxiety during my final year. I bombed the exams and repeated the year so I could get into university. I ended up getting kicked out of uni when the anxiety got so bad I couldn’t leave the house.

It was so demoralizing. I had my life worked out. I was going to become a journalist, travel the world and then dabble in business once I had enough financial stability. I really beat myself up about it. My friends were finishing their studies, having kids and starting their corporate careers. I was struggling to get dressed each day and was blogging on the side based on a hunch that it may lead to something.

In the past year, I’ve calmed down. I realized that everyone has their own problems that are holding them back. Bestselling author Bryce Courtenay didn’t start writing until he was 55.

I’ve been able to enjoy day to day life more and I’ve noticed that I’m a lot calmer since I’ve relaxed my goals.

Accept that you can let things go

When I got really ill, I would neglect the housework. At one stage I would only do the washing once every couple of months. It was disgusting. As a result, I became a clean freak once I recovered.

I quickly learned that this isn’t stable. I live alone and have a lot of responsibilities. Having a clean household took energy that I didn’t really have.

I started cutting myself some slack. I’d let the dishes and washing pile up if I had a big work project. I’d neglect the garden for a few days. At first I really rebelled against it but learned to just lose control.

Surprisingly, I’ve been able to get a lot more done since making this change. It’s actually made life a lot easier.

Learn about communication

Having anxiety has the potential to cause friction in any relationship, let alone a romantic one. I’ve noticed I can withdraw for no reason, suddenly lose interest in sex and be somewhat clingy when I feel insecure. I assumed this would cause problems because this is my first relationship.

It hasn’t. I talk openly with my partner so he understands why my behavior has changed. We’ll find a compromise so we both get what we emotionally want without making the other person uncomfortable. We work together to make life that little bit easier.

I’ve applied the same principles to my relationship with my parents. Previously, we used to have a lot of conflict because of misunderstandings between us. Now I’ll ask them to explain their comments if I feel I have misinterpreted them. I let them know when I’m feeling down so that they can give me space. For the first time since childhood, I’ve actually been able to really enjoy my parents company.

Over to you

I’ve had to really change my thinking in order to cope with how my life has changed. Have you had an unexpected situation change your life? How did you learn to adapt to it?

Jade helps you build your influence at jadecraven.com.