This post is by Claudia Azula Altucher of Claudiayoga.com.

Back when I started practicing yoga I did not much care for studios or teachers. I thought I could be self-didactic and learn it all on my own. I was, after all an independent grown woman with a managing corporate job in New York City. How hard could yoga be?

And so I decided on a style I liked: Ashtanga. I mostly liked it because its “Mysore style” is practiced by the student alone, even if in a group setting.

This means that nobody needs to be in the studio at a specific time. No, instead one just goes, places the mat and starts practicing, then the instructor comes around and adjusts or adds or subtracts poses within the confines of a pre-determined series and depending on the student’s level. I liked the independence of that style; I was all about being on my own and doing things my way.

However, a time came in which some of the poses got to be a little uncomfortable. Take kurmasana, for example, the “turtle” pose. Much as I tried, there was no way I was going to get anywhere close to the final form of it and get all the healing benefits.

Also by then, after about six months of going it alone I realized that maybe going to a studio and surrendering to a teacher may not be such a bad idea.

I was in awe on my first visit to a studio. Seeing others struggle or move faster and with much more grace was an inspiration and humiliation at the same time. I was in awe at the advanced students and could see my small progress in those that were just starting. Learning to keep the gazing point just into my practice was a big test.

By sticking to a teacher I learned of the benefits of having a regular human being who is much more advanced than me lead the way. I was able to relax, let the adjustments happen, and the deepening and openings be guided and supported. Not only that, I also learned about my teachers’ teacher, and his teacher in turn. I ended up very curious and traveling to India to the source and eventually tracing the chain to one short man 5’5’ in high: Tirumalai Krishnamacharya.

This man may not resonate as a household name unless you are in a yoga circle, but all of his students, or most of them would. For example, B.K.S. Iyengar, or Pattabhi Jois, Indra Devi, T.K.V. Desikachar—his son—or S.Ramaswami, amongh others, were all students of him. They all got a little piece of the wisdom of this master of yoga who is pretty much responsible for the basics of every yoga class you get on today, including that first one I finally dared take in mid-town New York City a few years ago.

In a world filled with so much yoga, how does one know to trust that this lineage or style? How is one to know that all the students that came from the tradition of Krishnamcharya are indeed good teachers? We do not know. There is no easy answer. All yoga teachers are people, and as with all people, you get all flavors.

There are a few stories of Krishnamacharya, however, that I always love re-reading. For example, in the 1950’s he was teaching yoga in a college in Chennai, but there was a difference of opinion with the management as of how he should be teaching.

Krishnamacharya, who by then was a master who had been studying and practicing the yoga sciences for over 35 years, was not willing to compromise on his teachings and the management threatened to dismiss him. To this he said: “Very well, I will have more time for my own practice.”

Another time Krishanamacharya was conducting a “rare” demonstration-class (he normally taught only one-on-one) where he mentioned that there are thirty-two variations of headstands. The class was silent. A student of him, A.G.Mohan, doubted him but did not say anything; however, the muscles in his face betrayed him and showed his feelings. Krishnamacharya looked at him and said: “What? It looks like you don’t believe me. Fold that mat and place it here”. He then demonstrated the 32 variations of headstand. He was 85 year -old.

These stories come from a book written by that dubious student, A.G. Mohan. Perhaps the most interesting one happens about a week before the time in which the great yogi died. This same student asked him the question: “What is important in life?” to which he replied, “Money is not important. Health, Longevity. A tranquil mind.”

Through these stories I see a dedicated, truth seeking, fierce, and determined practitioner who cares deeply about having a tranquil mind. And maybe these are the best guidelines we can follow when we are looking for a teacher to trust, a style that resonates, a yoga studio where we can surrender and gain all the benefits of yoga.

Finding out that a man of this stature was behind those poses I was doing every day, and that there was a method to the madness made me stop and reconsider, get more focused, trust the system. It gave me faith that through dedication it is possible to attain all that yoga has to offer not just “on”, but also “off” the mat.

I find it important to have as inspiration someone who walked the talk—someone who knew, through years of experience—what the science of yoga was, and could relate it to others.

I wish I had met him, but I never did.

They say that to get good at things, one needs to be mentored. I believe that for any endeavor one might try in life, it’s important to seek the best in the field, then imitate, fake it till one makes it, and keep the faith—not just in yoga, but in any field. Don’t you?

Claudia Azula Altucher has studied yoga for over a decade and all over the world including the Ashtanga Yoga Research Institute in Mysore, India, and at Centered Yoga in Thailand. She writes daily at Claudiayoga.com.

This post is by Glad Doggett of bestlaidscheme.com

How many times have you messed up or made a mistake and immediately lashed out?

“You big dummy! How did you screw that up? Can’t you do anything right?”

Or, how often have you looked in the mirror in disgust and sneered?

“Time to start a new diet, fatso! You look horrible! You shouldn’t leave the house. What a disgrace!”

Well, according to research by Dr. Kristin Neff, an associate professor of human development at the University of Texas at Austin, and author of Self-Compassion: Stop Beating Yourself Up and Leave Insecurity Behind, self-talk that is harsh and self-critical can lead feelings of depression, anxiety, and worthlessness. Studies show that using shame, guilt and anxiety as motivators is ineffective and potentially harmful to our feelings of self-worth.

A recent story in the New York Times by Tara Parker-Pope revealed that showing ourselves a little compassion, and extending to ourselves the same kindness and forgiveness we give to our friends and family, may be the first step to living lives filled with happiness, success and well-being.

The science shows that when we show ourselves compassion and talk to ourselves they way we’d talk to a down-and-out friend, we activate the areas in our brains that control feelings of being nurtured, encouraged, and cared for.

If kinder self-talk is the key to more successful, happier life, why do so many of us resist it?

Dr. Neff’s research found that people mistakenly believe self-compassion will lead to “self-indulgence and lower standards.” Many people, it seems, believe that harsh self-criticism keeps them “in line.” Most of us have been influenced through social conditioning to believe that self-compassion can lead to slothful, lazy behaviors. In other words, if we give ourselves a break, we let ourselves off the hook.

But, Neff’s research points to opposite findings. She contends that many people “fall into a cycle of self-criticism and negativity … that leaves them feeling even less motivated to change.”

The research shows that self-compassion helps us maintain—not abandon—our standards. It helps us succeed in our pursuits, reach our goals, as well as increase feelings of well-being.

So, how can we build a practice of extending self-acceptance and compassion to ourselves?

The secret is awareness of our inner critic, and taking small steps to challenge the criticisms it unleashes.

Start noticing times when you berate yourself. Begin to notice how your body feels and the thoughts that run through your head. Instead of going on auto-pilot with harsh self-talk, pause and pay attention. Start being mindful of what’s happening to you in the moment.

Make a daily practice of reminding yourself what’s right about you. What qualities do you like most about yourself? Which of your traits make you unique? List the gifts you share with others that make the world a better place. Fostering self-love is a habit we must build every day. Like brushing your teeth, you can’t do it just once and be done with it.

Change your self-talk. Instead of calling yourself worthless, offer yourself the same encouragement and support that you would offer a loved one. Write several affirmations that you can pull out when you feel the pull to criticize.

Try phrases such as, “I’m doing my best and I’m ok with that.”

Or, “I am enough just the way I am right now.”

Building a self-compassion habit may feel awkward at first. You will be pushing against an old, stubborn mind-set that has been your default setting for a very long time.

But, in the end, being kind and loving and appreciative toward yourself will lead you to a more fulfilling, happy life. And isn’t that truly what we all want?

Glad Doggett is a coach who spends most of her time on the blog Best Laid Scheme. She recently launched an eworkshop called re: Turn to You that encourages building a practice of self-love and compassion through exploring, excavating, and expressing what it means to be you.

This guest posy is by Sarah Wagner Yost of www.sarahwagneryost.com.

Have you ever tried to have an adult conversation with someone but couldn’t concentrate because your eyelid was twitching?

It might be a neurological malfunction. It might, as the superstition says, mean that money will cross your hands soon.

More likely, it’s because your jaw is tight. Do you clench your teeth or grind them at night? If your neck and shoulders get tight when you’re stressed, your jaw is probably also involved. You might also feel a weird itch inside your ear or have a runny nose with no cause.

You can make it stop

If muscles are to blame, self massage will take care of it. If it doesn’t, check with your doctor to rule out anything more serious.

A trigger point is like a hot little spitfire of a muscle which wreaks random havoc. It often refers pain and seemingly unrelated symptoms to other parts of the body. That’s why trigger points in your mouth can cause your eyelid twitch.

When working on your own trigger points, press as hard as you can stand but not harder. More is not more. You’ll know you’re on a trigger point because it will hurt but in a good way. It will feel satisfying, like you’re scratching an itch.

Get relief in five minutes

1. You’ll be sticking your fingers in your mouth so go wash your hands.
2. Go on, wash them. This will just take a few minutes.
3. Stick your pointer finger inside your cheek and find the hard muscle near the back. This is the masseter muscle. It goes up and down and is the first hard muscle you’ll feel in the cheek.
4. Move your finger to the top of the muscle, next to the upper gums and press firmly. You’re looking for the spots that zing. Press each spot for about 30 seconds using all of the pressure you can stand, which may be very little for the first few days. That’s just fine. Pressing hard will not make it better faster. It will likely make it worse. Inch your way around the entire muscle, stopping on any tender spots.
5. The next area you’ll work is the gum line above your upper back teeth. Poke around the gumline and massage the zingy areas.

You don’t have to marry this

Four days is plenty for this technique. Do this for five minutes, three times a day for four days or until you stop finding zingers.

Just working those two spots on both sides should bring pretty quick relief of symptoms. You’ll be surprised at how sensitive you are the first couple of times. The sensitivity will get better fast. You’ll get relief from the twitch, jaw pain and itchy ear pretty quickly.

Do you ever suffer eyelid twitch? Have you tried anything to make it stop?

Sarah is a mind-body coach who helps stressed out moms rock it without guilt. If you’ve ever felt bad for saying no, Sarah’s your girl. Working with her is better than Valium. Grab her RSS feed here and follow her on Twitter.

This post is by Brandon Yanofsky of brandonyanofsky.com.

Mae West said, “Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.”

I completely disagree with Ms. West. Too much of a good thing is not wonderful. In fact, it can be harmful.

Think about it: eat too many apples, you’ll gain weight from the sugar. Sleep 14 hours a day, and you start becoming sedentary. Spend too much time lifting weight, and your body won’t be able to build muscle.

As the cliche goes, moderation is the key, but Epictetus puts it best:

“If one oversteps the bounds of moderation, the greatest pleasures cease to please.”

When it’s too much

A few years ago, I was an exercise beast. I loved exercising. I would train two hours in the morning, and one and a half hours at night. And I did this six days a week.

I was in amazing health. I lost nearly 40 pounds, ran a ten kilometer race keeping a 6:32 minute mile throughout, and was planning on doing triathlons. Exercising was my life.

But then it began taking its toll. Other aspects of my life were suffering: I didn’t have much of a social life, I didn’t have time to work on my business, and I was tired most of the day.

Then, one day, I just stopped working out all together. I went from three and a half hours a day to zero. I hated exercising. I had done so much of it, I didn’t want to do it anymore. Looking back, I know if I had just exercised in moderation, I would have been happier and would have kept exercising.

So, when I decided it was time for me to diet, I didn’t tell myself, “Eat only healthy food all the time.”

Instead, I took Tim Ferris’s advice from the The 4-Hour Body and gave myself one cheat day a week. On that day, I eat whatever I want. I’ll get a pizza, hamburger, jelly beans, coke, a giant burrito. I go all out and intentionally overeat. That way, I’m recharged for the next week of dieting.

Moderating my diet actually makes it enjoyable.

What about you?

So, what in your life could use moderation?

Do you work to much? Do you eat too much? Do you spend too much time in front of the computer? On your phone? In front of the TV? Do you spend more money than you should?

If you feel even the slightest instinct that you might do too much of something, your body is trying to tell you something. It’s time for moderation.

Looking for tips on dealing with stress? Check out Brandon Yanofsky’s blog on stress relief.

This post is by Marly McMillen of NamelyMarly.

One day I took some vegan chocolate chip cookies to the office to share with my co-workers. When people saw the cookies they were thrilled and ready to dive in. Hands were eagerly stretched toward the cookies, mouths salivating, looks of eager anticipation on everyone’s faces. The mood instantly changed when I announced the cookies were vegan. In fact, the word “buzz kill” comes to mind. Those enthusiastic hands were quickly withdrawn. My co-workers now looked at the tray of cookies with doubt; like they might be radioactive or poisonous. It’s as if they thought I had laced those cookies with tree bark.

“Oh well,” I thought, “More delicious cookies for me.”

As a vegan, it’s true that I don’t eat meat, eggs, or dairy. And do you know what? I find being a vegan so liberating!
That’s right. According to a lot of people, my diet is highly restrictive. In fact, when I tell people about my diet they look at me with a befuddled stare and ask, “You don’t eat any meat, or cheese, or ice cream?” And that question is usually followed up with, “What do you eat?”

How could such a “restrictive” diet be freeing? Here are the reasons I think the vegan lifestyle is the best.

Veganism is a freedom diet

When I walk down the grocery store aisle, I’m free from the burden of worrying about so many of choices before me. As Michael Pollan points out, most of the good stuff is in the exterior of the grocery store, not the middle aisles. I’m not a big fan of shopping so this means I get to spend my time in the grocery store happily perusing the outer aisles buying fruits and veggies, whole grains, and the like.

Veganism is a best body diet

I love being vegan because I know it’s what’s best for my body. Yes, vegans do need to supplement their diet with a B-12 vitamin. Some people will use this as a reason to discredit the vegan diet. They suggest that if the diet is so “natural” why do people who follow it need a supplement?

John Robbins explains this very eloquently in his book The Food Revolution, “Animal products have vitamin B-12 because animals ingest plants and/or drink water that are carrying the microorganisms that produce the vitamin. Vitamin B-12 is constantly being produced throughout the environment by bacteria … Our food today is so sanitized that even if there were some B-12 in the dirt in which our veggies grew, we wouldn’t get it.”

Veganism is a green diet

I know the choices for my diet are also helping the environment. Jane Goodall points out in her book, Harvest for Hope, “almost half of the world’s harvest is fed to animals to fatten them for human food.”

She explains the devastation this has caused to the environment including the destruction of the Brazilian rain forest. She also points out the irresponsible use of water and summarizes her thoughts by saying, “I believe that the single most important thing we can do, if we care about the future of the planet, is either to become vegetarians or to eat as little meat as possible.”

Veganism is a zen diet

A vegan diet is a more spiritual approach to living. Kathy Freston in her book Quantum Wellness encourages her readers to understand what goes into the production of their food. She explains how today’s factory farm techniques eschew the values of stewardship of the land and accountability to the greater community.

Her book suggests that we can achieve improved health by learning to eat with moral integrity. Ms. Freston explains, “It is prudent that we think about every aspect of how food arrives on our plate – how it’s grown, how the workers who handle it are treated, how it is packaged, and how it is prepared.”

On my blog, I showcase some of the delicious vegan foods we eat, including everything from vegan mac and cheese to vegan sesame tofu. I recently ran a series of posts veganizing some popular and mostly meat-based sandwiches. This series is a great example of how a vegan diet can include mouthwatering, finger-licking good food.

The trick to any sustainable diet is about finding balance between healthy, tasty, and really tasty. We enjoy a wide variety of food, including raw fruits and veggies, but also incorporating treats like those chocolate chip cookies that my co-workers snubbed. To prove that vegan cookies include perfectly normal, safe, and enjoyable ingredients, I’m sharing with you the very recipe I used when taking treats into the office.

As the title of this post implies, being a vegan can be such a sweet life! I’ve found my own personal sweet spot of balance in my diet; a truly enjoyable way of eating that also makes me feel really good … and I like feeling really good. Care to join me?

Vegan Chocolate Chip Cookies

1 cup dairy-free margarine (2 sticks), softened
¾ cup light brown sugar
¾ cup regular sugar
1 Tablespoon vanilla
2 egg substitute (I used 2 tablespoons of ground flax seed mixed with 6 tablespoons of water*, or you can use ½ cup of applesauce, or egg replacer which is sold in most health food stores)
2 ¼ cups flour, sifted
1 ½ teaspoons baking soda
1 ½ teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
12 oz. chocolate chips

1. Bakers, start your engines. That means, get your oven ready by heating it up to 375° F.
2. In a large bowl, beat margarine and sugars with mixer until fluffy. If you don’t want to use a mixer, that’s fine. You can use a little bit of elbow grease (and burn a few cookie calories) by giving it a good stir with a whisk. Add vanilla and egg replacer of your choice and stir well.
3. In a medium bowl, whisk together dry ingredients.
4. Slowly add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients.
5. Mix combined ingredients on low speed until well combined.
6. Stir in chocolate chips.
7. Drop by heaping teaspoon full onto an ungreased cookie sheet.

Have you tried the vegan diet? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

Marly McMillen has a passion for life, family, vegan food, and names. She writes about all of these and more on her site at NamelyMarly. Marly’s podcast, NamelyMarly, can be found on iTunes, where she interviews people about their names. The people she interviews include famous authors, models, and even the people she meets at the park. Marly is also passionate about healthy food and shares vegan recipes as well.

This post is by Jade of jadecraven.com.

Not so long ago, I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. It took a couple of years to be able to function on a day-to-day level. It took even longer to combine a “normal life” with self-employment.

All of us face life-changing situations to which we have to adapt. The following tips have helped me find happiness, and get my act together despite having to manage regular flare-ups of my mental illness.

Accept that your goals may take longer to achieve

I used to be really ambitious. I was that annoying kid who always got good grades, and did extracurricular activities. I assumed that academic and financial success would naturally follow.

Wrong. I started showing signs of severe anxiety during my final year. I bombed the exams and repeated the year so I could get into university. I ended up getting kicked out of uni when the anxiety got so bad I couldn’t leave the house.

It was so demoralizing. I had my life worked out. I was going to become a journalist, travel the world and then dabble in business once I had enough financial stability. I really beat myself up about it. My friends were finishing their studies, having kids and starting their corporate careers. I was struggling to get dressed each day and was blogging on the side based on a hunch that it may lead to something.

In the past year, I’ve calmed down. I realized that everyone has their own problems that are holding them back. Bestselling author Bryce Courtenay didn’t start writing until he was 55.

I’ve been able to enjoy day to day life more and I’ve noticed that I’m a lot calmer since I’ve relaxed my goals.

Accept that you can let things go

When I got really ill, I would neglect the housework. At one stage I would only do the washing once every couple of months. It was disgusting. As a result, I became a clean freak once I recovered.

I quickly learned that this isn’t stable. I live alone and have a lot of responsibilities. Having a clean household took energy that I didn’t really have.

I started cutting myself some slack. I’d let the dishes and washing pile up if I had a big work project. I’d neglect the garden for a few days. At first I really rebelled against it but learned to just lose control.

Surprisingly, I’ve been able to get a lot more done since making this change. It’s actually made life a lot easier.

Learn about communication

Having anxiety has the potential to cause friction in any relationship, let alone a romantic one. I’ve noticed I can withdraw for no reason, suddenly lose interest in sex and be somewhat clingy when I feel insecure. I assumed this would cause problems because this is my first relationship.

It hasn’t. I talk openly with my partner so he understands why my behavior has changed. We’ll find a compromise so we both get what we emotionally want without making the other person uncomfortable. We work together to make life that little bit easier.

I’ve applied the same principles to my relationship with my parents. Previously, we used to have a lot of conflict because of misunderstandings between us. Now I’ll ask them to explain their comments if I feel I have misinterpreted them. I let them know when I’m feeling down so that they can give me space. For the first time since childhood, I’ve actually been able to really enjoy my parents company.

Over to you

I’ve had to really change my thinking in order to cope with how my life has changed. Have you had an unexpected situation change your life? How did you learn to adapt to it?

Jade helps you build your influence at jadecraven.com.

When was the last time you received an entire hour of focused unconditional positive regard? Errrmmm … maybe a year ago? Maybe never?

Massage therapy isn’t just just about feeling good. In addition to improving circulation, relieving stress and pain, naturally increasing levels of dopamine and serotonin and a host of other frequently quoted benefits, the most
satisfying part of massage therapy is the skilled, concentrated attention.

I liked massage therapy so much that I went back to school to study it. I wanted the opportunity to make other people feel as good and as cared for as possible. If you’re a therapist your job is to treat the needy. Not always “needy” in terms of money, but needy in terms of “they are sooooooo needy.”

Not everyone who needs attention is “needy.” What’s the difference?

Any type of therapy job will attract those who need attention. However, to actively seek attention in the Western world is culturally constructed as a feminine activity. In fact, it’s seen as admirable not to want attention—to be stoic—the “logic” being that if you were worth something, you wouldn’t have to ask for attention because people would just naturally give it to you. So then we have these terms to describe people who go looking for it: Attention Whore, Needy, Drama Queen, Emotional Vampire, or, as Freud would have it, Goldfish.

Who we are in society can affect how this goes for us as well: very poor people are conditioned not to expect too much attention, or if they get it, it may be negative. The most “needy” are the middle-ish classes, striving for upward mobility: then it’s good to get noticed. Men are less likely to seek help or verbally express “needs”, as doing so could make them appear less powerful. Think about the term “Mama’s Boy”: a man who wants and enjoys attention and affection. It’s not exactly a compliment.

Our culture tends to be pretty clear about when it’s okay to seek attention and when it’s not. But are there really differences in who needs attention?

Who “deserves” attention … and who doesn’t?

The people at the top of the heap, who are the most powerful and control the most resources, also tend to receive the most grooming. This group usually consists of very wealthy white men, and no one ever calls them needy.

The people who massage therapists most often see in the office are the ones who perform the most social grooming in their day to day lives. These are the people who ‘pay’ the most attention- the wives, mothers, and daughters of more culturally powerful ‘others’. Doubt it? Take a look at The Onion’s satire piece from a few years ago, entitled “Mom Hogging Family Therapy Session”. Strike a chord? Did you laugh? If you did, you recognized the underlying current that makes attention a palpable need for a large segment of society.

Of course, it’s not just women who need attention, but they are the ones who are more likely to seek help. When people receive zero social grooming or experience repeated rejection, they tend to behave quite badly. Or, they accept the situation, ignore their feelings about it, and get sick. And then you’ll definitely see them on your table. Everyone needs attention, period. In fact, a new study shows that feelings of social rejection cause the same feelings of “hurt” as physical pain.

That puts kind of a new spin on “attention-seeking,” no?

Massage can help

The beauty of massage therapy is its ability to connect directly with people without requiring them to put into words how they feel. It’s like it ‘magically’ makes you feel better, establishing a physical connection between you and another person without the work of using conversation to try to find common ground. It’s perfect for people who have a hard time verbalizing how they feel.

However, a few words of caution:

1. There is such a thing as a bad massage:
   What makes for a bad massage experience? A tired, unfocused therapist is not good, nor is one who is lacking in social skills or training and understanding. Increase your chances of a good experience by trying to find a skilled practitioner (not just trained in a bunch of fancy modalities), who is perceptive, knowledgeable, and able to focus for long periods of time.
2. You may have a breakdown on the table:
   In the long run this isn’t so bad. It sounds bad, but it’s actually good. That may surprise you, but it’s true. It’s common for people to cry on the table or laugh hysterically when muscle memories are triggered. Depression, eating disorders, body image issues, rape, and trauma—all those stored memories may come rushing back and you may need to find another level of support if that happens to you. The key thing to remember is that being flooded by intense feelings while on the table does not mean that something is going wrong. Starting to experience buried emotions is a part of the process of letting them go.

On a final note, compassionate touch promotes trust. “Being physically touched, whether with a kneading massage or a comforting pat on the shoulder, seems to encourage cooperative behavior,” says author Dan Ariely. Touch is such a basic comfort to us and we tend to seriously underestimate its power to heal and to make us feel connected to other people—an essential part of being human.

The best part of massage is the psycho-social benefit of being well-cared for. So if, like me, you’ve been called needy and if you have, er … issues, get a massage. It may deepen your awareness and just plain help you “feelgooder.”

Have you experienced the benefits of massage? I’d love to hear about your experiences in the comments.

Leigh Stevens is a certified massage therapist, artist, humorist and co-founder of whereapy.

This post is by Claudia Azula Altucher of Claudiayoga.com.

Early in 2008 I set off for a trip to India. When I returned I was 30 pounds lighter and the weight never came back.

A friend who knew me “before” and “after” asked me how this happened, and as I tried to recall, I realized that it was not just because of the yoga, or the trip, or the food, or because I starved myself, and certainly not because I was mean or deprecating to myself in an attempt to discipline my food choices.

None of that had anything to do with it.

Releasing weight can be a drama or not; it can be hard or not; it depends on so many factors that I do not believe one single method can ever work for everyone, but these steps worked for me.

1. Love yourself

There’s no way around it: no matter who says that there is an epidemic of whatever, or that I, or you, may need a diet or blah, blah, blah, it’s all nonsense if we don’t start at the beginning.

Loving and respecting myself enough to sit down and look at what was important in life was the very first step in losing weight.

In yoga this has to do with stopping the leaks where our energy is being wasted. Self-hate (possibly just as much as gossip) is the biggest energy drainer for all of us.

It may sound silly, but I followed that exercise of looking at myself in the mirror and saying “I love you” to my own image. At first it felt silly. You know why? Because I didn’t believe it. But a few weeks into it I did start to believe that I was worthy of my own respect, and it helped me get grounded in acting as if I loved myself. Eventually, I fully believed in it.

2. Daily yoga-asana practice

I find that the release of the weight for me had to do with a “momentum” rather than a “get thin quick” mentality. By the time I took my trip to India, I had been practicing daily yoga-asana for a year (six times a week, one and a half hours each day), and it had taken me three years to build up to such a strong and committed practice.

When it comes to releasing weight, I find that it does not so much matter what kind of yoga one practices, but that one does. The simple act of getting on the mat every day sends the body the message that one cares.

3. Verbal messages

I find that people dismiss this quickly, so much so that I began to suspect it is a very well-kept secret.

When somebody wants to manifest something positive, keeping the vocabulary clean (no curse words, no negativity), is key. It surprises me to no end to see, even in yoga circles, a tremendous denial of the power of the word. There is a reason why I call it “weight release” (except perhaps in the title of this post), and that is because phrasing it that way is more powerful, since when we “lose” something, we usually try to find it again.

4. Cleansings

Weight release can also be thought of as “cleansing”. What is necessary is to take a look at what is coming into our bodies, and how fast it is coming out. If we are not going to the bathroom daily, there’s a problem.

5. Drink water

When you’re hungry, drink water first. A yoga teacher once told me that. Most of us get the signal of hunger when in reality we are not sensitive enough to notice that it is thirst speaking. I know I confuse them.

6. Cook

While in India I felt a little scared about eating in restaurants because the quality of the water is very dangerous for westerners so, for example, eating salads (or anything raw) outside of the house was not an option.

This forced me to start cooking, and I prepared lots of stews and soups with boiled vegetables and olive oil which I served with brown rice. I also learned how to make lentil dal, and kicheri—nutritious and easy meals that are tasty and nutritious.

7. Vacation

Take that overdue vacation, and make it a real one—regardless of how long it is. Taking time for ourselves seems impossible, but it is not. When a body is overweighted, it’s out of balance. When a body is out of balance it needs time for itself, to heal, to have an opportunity to assess what exactly is happening and what can be done to help it.

As long as the time we give to ourselves is dedicated, focused time, it is useful. Otherwise we are not nurturing our soul, and an un-nurtured soul produces an unbalance that usually manifests in us reaching for the ice cream.

I have noticed that people who say that there is absolutely no way they can take time for themselves are actually saying that their priorities do not involve taking time off. Their focus is not on their own wellbeing, but rather on other things.

8. Trust your instincts

Train yourself to trust your own instincts. Before every meal ask: “What is the most nutritious thing I can eat right now”? Trust the answer, and let your body have it. Remember moderation, of course, but do go ahead. It may be decadent chocolate mud pie today; it might be baby spinach salad with fresh olive oil sprinkled with raw almonds tomorrow.

Be with yourself, forget what others think, let it be your own intelligence that guides you, because it wants to.

9. Choose the middle path

Trying to eat only spinach or only drink water with lemon for days, or going completely raw overnight, or any other extreme is not only unrealistic, it is also dangerous. It’s almost guaranteed not to work because we are fighting against a very powerful force of nature: our own natural psychological tendencies. And these inclinations have been ingrained into us over a period of, well, think about your age—that long!

Change does not happen overnight, it happens one day at the time.

10. Attend a 12-step meeting

There is a cathartic effect in admitting our vulnerability to other people, as for instance when someone confesses to a group of people that he or she ate two pints of ice-cream the night before, or when someone says: “I am powerless over this”.

12-step meetings work because they are simple steps that demand enormous courage, of the type that can only be navigated with help from others who also happen to find themselves in a similar setting.

The benefit of 12 steps is that they open people up, and reconcile people with their own humanity. Through them we find that what we think is “crazy” in us is just as normal as it is in any other person. We all share a common humanity, we are all one, and I have yet to see a form of therapy that is more effective than people being brutally honest in a group, under very specific regulations for sharing, with proper boundaries and respect.

11. Practice patience

Recovering a healthy body may take time, but every day things speed up, there is a momentum that is generated by slowly adding more and more healthy habits and releasing the old ones that don’t serve us anymore.

So what if it takes six months, or a year, or three? I have seen with my own eyes fellow yogis practice for five years and then all of a sudden release an enormous amount of weight. In the end, the recovery of the original, healthy body also happens by grace; we put all the healthy and nurturing elements in place, and then surrender to divine intervention, Gita style.

12. Surrender

Our bodies are determined by our genes and ancestors. It is important to respect nature. Yoga and these principles can restore our body to our original blue-print, to what our bodies would be like if completely healthy, but they will not transform us into super models.

The real miracle in weight release happens when we shift perception, when we can accept our body as it is and treat it well, with respect, providing good nutrition for it, so that it can function at its peak—which also means “at its ideal weight.”

Have you used any of these principles to help release weight? I’d love to hear your experiences in the comments.

Claudia Azula Altucher has studied yoga for over a decade and all over the world including the Ashtanga Yoga Research Institute in Mysore, India, and at Centered Yoga in Thailand. She writes daily at Claudiayoga.com.

This post is by Dr. Peter J. Meyers of 30GO30.

It’s funny how even a small passion can change the course of your life. I know, tea isn’t exactly bullfighting or climbing K2, but discovering a love for tea has led me on more adventures than any expedition could. Here are a few ways that igniting even the smallest passion can have an amazing impact.

I discovered variety

Growing up in Illinois farm country, tea meant Lipton in a bag, probably buried in the back of the cupboard. Even coffee only came in two varieties: regular and Methodist decaf (regular with an orange lid, just in case someone asked for decaf). Hot drinks were a purely utilitarian exercise, designed to keep you awake in the morning and warm in the winter.

Imagine my surprise when I learned that tea didn’t always come in bags or Lipton boxes, and it could be green, white, red, or dozens of shades in between. A quick count on online tea retailer Adagio.com shows 130 varieties, and that doesn’t include herbals or blends (for you purists). We all need a little variety to keep life interesting.

I left the path

Variety doesn’t just find you—you have to go looking for it. My love for tea got me to wander Chinatown and leave the beaten path of dim-sum restaurants and bubble-tea stands. I’ve never fought any Triad bosses, but the herbalists and tea shops have their own intrigue. One of my favorite tea memories is buying $130/lb. rose-petal tea out of an engraved metal drum in the back of the store. Maybe it was just $20/lb. tea with more showmanship (I’m not sure I would’ve known back then), but isn’t showmanship half the fun?

I sought rarity

It’s fantastic to have instant access to so much online. We can buy spices and fine silks in ten minutes—with overnight shipping—that nations once warred over. Still, it sometimes takes the fun out of shopping. We’ve lost touch with the rare and exceptional when everything is just a click away. Being passionate about something makes you a connoisseur. That doesn’t mean you have to be a snob, but you start to appreciate rarity again. It’s exciting to have to work to find something truly unique.

I found adventure

When my wife and I traveled to Taiwan a couple of years ago, she asked me what I wanted to do there, and I had two requests: see a baseball game and go to a tea plantation. We ended up finding a homestay in the mountains connected to a tea plantation (pictured above). The mountains were gorgeous, but it turned out that the homestay owner was also an incredible tour guide. We discovered all sorts of hidden local treasures, including sunrise over Alishan mountain.

Without that bit of culinary passion to drive me, we would’ve missed out on a real adventure. Of course, I also had to bring back some tea.

Dr. Peter J. Meyers (“Dr. Pete”) is a cognitive psychologist, accidental entrepreneur, and aspiring non-procrastinator. He recently founded 30GO30, a site dedicated to finding out exactly how much you can accomplish in 30 days.

This post is by Dirk from Upgradereality.com.

Sometimes it’s just not your day or your week, and all of life’s daily obstacles—the problems that you usually handle without blinking an eye—seem to have the power to drive a dagger into your heart and make you want to give up on everything.

Everyone feels vulnerable, sad, and lonely from time to time but if you know how to cheer yourself up, then you’ll get through many of those tough moments just fine. In fact, you’ll learn to appreciate the sad moments because when you experience them, you know you’re alive and life has both ups and downs. That’s what makes life so great.

Here I’ve listed 17 different ways that can cheer you up when you feel sad, and you’ll be sure to find at least one way that will put a smile on your face when everything else makes you frown.

1. Breathe

Take five minutes and consciously breathe. Count your breaths, inhale and exhale. When you focus on breathing, you will notice that you become more relaxed and your worries and troubles melt away.

2. Take a long walk

Even if you have big troubles, usually a long walk through a scenic environment like a forest, park or mountain will take your mind off your worries. Nature is beautiful. Let it soothe you.

3. Watch an episode of Friends

I have probably watched every episode of Friends, the sitcom series from a few years ago, ten times and it always gets a smile on my face. Feeling down? Just watch an episode or two and your mood will lift.

4. Listen to Arnold Schwarzenegger

Just Google “Arnold Schwarzenegger switchboard” and you’ll see what I mean. It’s an online switchboard with recorded clips from Arnold and his awesome accent. Guaranteed to make you feel better!

5. Browse Saying Images

Since I found this site I’ve been in love with it.

No essays or articles, just unique and original pictures with a message. Very cool.

6. Pig out on ice-cream

Stuffing yourself with your favorite flavor of ice-cream always does wonders. It might not be healthy, and it might not be a solution, but damn, it tastes good—and makes you feel better!

7. Play with a dog

Dogs never seem to have big troubles. They are always energetic and up for fun. Ask someone who has a dog if you can borrow it for a couple of hours, or the day, and take your new best friend for a run.

8. Take a bubble bath

Draw a nice warm bath full of bubbles and bath salts. Relax and soak your troubles in the water—and leave them behind when you get out.

9. Paint

Get a canvas or a wall or something that you can paint on, and let your emotions flow. Let the paintbrush and colors flow freely and your mood will lift.

10. Sing

You may not be in the mood to sing, because generally people only sing when they are happy. But put on your favorite song and sing along. You will begin to feel better, and it might even change your mood completely!

11. Create something

I mentioned painting earlier, but you can do anything you want. Pottery, drawings, carpentry, paper-mache, a song, and Lego are just a few ideas. Be artistic and just make something with your own two hands! I wrote a post on how to be creative if you need inspiration.

12. Make a list

Get a pen and paper and make a list of something. It can be a list of why life is awesome, a list of goals you want to achieve, a list of your favorite things in the world … you name it.

13. Bake a cake

Even if you never bake, baking a cake once in a blue moon can be fun. It can be cool to whip up all the ingredients and create something delicious—especially when you are feeling a little down. And you can devour it to make you feel even better (or at least get a sugar rush…)!

14. Enjoy friends, food, and movies

Ask your best friends to come over for the night, get some good movies and great food, and just hang out. You don’t even have to say anything to each other—just enjoy the movies, food, and each other’s company.

15. Buy yourself flowers

A fresh bouquet of beautiful flowers always cheers me up. They smell amazing and look so pretty. I can often notice a big lift in my mood when I have flower in front of me for a few hours.

16. Blow bubbles

It’s so simple, and yet so fascinating. Dip the little stick in the soapy water and blow on it to make a bubble that floats through the air. See how effortlessly it floats and let that take your mind off whatever is bothering you.

17. Happiness comes from within

Even though many of these suggestions will cheer you up and put you in a better mood, true happiness comes from within. The only person who can ultimately make you happy is you.

If you feel down because of other people, remember that it is you who gives those other people the power to let you be down. If you allow them to hurt you, they can … but not always. I find that the less I rely on other things or people for my happiness, the easier it is to be happy. Don’t you?

Dirk was born in Amsterdam but now lives in South Africa where he writes about personal development on his popular blog Upgradereality.com. Get his free ebook with 117 proven tips to change your life for good here.