3 Ways Not to Look Like an Idiot at the Gym

Growing up, I was always the “Fat Kid.” When I graduated from High School, I weighed over 400lbs. Then, a couple years ago I decided to take control of my health. Through a combination of low-fat vegetarianism and regular exercise, I lost 175lbs. No surgery, just lifestyle changes.

I’m a professional magician and I wanted to look good on stage. The effect on my appearance was dramatic. Check out these before and after pictures.

Before...

After!

Naturally, I get a lot of questions about this. One thing I hear regularly is, “I don’t like going to the gym! I feel like an idiot!”

If you’re not used to working out, your local gym can be an intimidating place. If you’re really that afraid of looking like an idiot, here’s a handy guide to help you out.

Don’t obsess over how you look

The regulars are there for precisely one purpose: to get a workout in. Most of us have lives outside of the gym and would like to get on with them. Don’t let the movies fool you—there’s nobody on the planet that looks sexy while getting a workout.

I’m not saying you should look like a bum, but every January you’d be forgiven for thinking your gym was a fashion runway instead of a gym. People walk around with matching shoes, shorts, tops, hair ties, and ear buds. Even their iPods match their outfits! It’s not just the ladies that do this. Guys do it too.

Oh, and do you wear makeup? Keep in mind that you’re showing up to sweat! I don’t care if you look like the grim reaper without it. It’s just not practical.

See the buff guy over in the corner with the clean-but-well-used shirt and worn sneakers? I can almost guarantee you he’s a regular.

Be considerate to others

You’re in a room with dozens of other people. This isn’t your living room, so be considerate.

Gym etiquette isn’t rocket science. Nobody wants to work out on a machine that’s covered in your sweat. Wipe it down when you’re done.

I know you’ll take a shower after your workout, but if you stink, please wash up before hitting the gym floor. Your stench will waft through the building until some poor soul (probably me) passes out from it and flies off the treadmill.

If you see a friend and want to have a chat, please talk off to the side—don’t do it while you’re on the equipment. If the gym is busy, chances are there’s a line of people behind you who are getting wicked irritated.

Guys, just because we all change together in the locker room doesn’t mean I want to see your junk. Have some modesty and wear a towel. (I assume the ladies have similar modesty issues, but since I haven’t had the privilege of hanging out in the women’s locker room I don’t know for sure…)

Get some training on the equipment you’re about to use

Most gyms will give you a one-time tutorial without making you pay for personal training. Even if they don’t, do whatever it takes to make sure you know what you’re doing. If you don’t bother, the best case scenario is you’ll look like an idiot. The worst case scenario is that you’ll injure yourself.

I’ll never forget the time I saw a guy just start whomping on a punching bag Jackie-Chan style. He threw out his shoulder and got hauled out in an ambulance. Good times!

If you’re serious about getting fit, you’re going to spend a lot of time working at it. At least take the time to learn how to do it right.

The one thing you shouldn’t worry about…

…is your actual fitness level. Most people have this pre-conceived notion that the gym is filled with beautiful people with perfect bodies. This just isn’t true. The matching-earbud brigade comes the closest, but for the most part there are people of all shapes and sizes there. Every gym has a jerk or two, but everyone else is just trying to live a healthy lifestyle.

Even if you’re really out of shape like I was, don’t worry about it. Many folks are actually silently supportive. I didn’t realize this until a few months had passed and I had shed some of the weight. I started getting a lot of comments along the lines of:

“Hey! I see you here every day… I’m seeing the results! I’m really happy for you, keep up the good work!”

Bottom line? You don’t need to obsess over your appearance or have the perfect body. Just be yourself and be courteous to others. You’ll discover the gym isn’t scary at all, and who knows? You might even find you like it!

Matthew Jones is one of the professional Ohio magicians at Shizzle Dizzle Magic. They provide clean comedy magic for corporate events, festivals, and anti-bullying school assemblies! Check out their blog for more details!

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Comments

  1. Machai Goodman says:

    Great article! I’m always amazed at the lack manners at the gym. People act like idiots sometimes…

  2. Great article hits home actually since I will be in the gym myself in the near future shedding pounds! Was nervous about the whole gym part but now your article helped me see things from a different point of view. Thanks Matthew! Keep up the great work

  3. Martika Martin says:

    Matt, you really have transformed yourself, and doing it by making healthy lifestyle changes instead of going through some fad diet that won’t stick is very commendable! I’m sure it wasn’t an instant magical feat…so way to go for sticking with it!
    I’ve seen more than one individual hurt themselves in the gym too, so definitely great advice to get someone to show you how to use the machines properly.

  4. Good stuff Matthew. One of the things I do is help people get in shape. Usually, I work with athletes, but sometimes, I have a few people like yourself who just want to lose weight or look better.

    The biggest hurdle is just getting in the gym. Forget everything else, just get in there and do it for yourself. Congrats on your weight loss.

  5. I wish that EVERYONE who goes to a gym could read your article – good stuff. I go to an all women’s fitness center and love it. You will always have some that are ‘ flashy ‘ and intimidate. I also run into a few who get together at the gym to ‘ catch up ‘ on their daily lives. They sit on the machines and talk, and talk and talk , do little excercise and then leave. They also talk loud enough for everyone to know their business . You will always have members like this and you just need to ignore them and get on with your workout. Have a good time while you are there, be courteous of others and avoid anyone who will make it unpleasant for you . Keep up the good work Matthew !!

  6. Being on the opposite extreme (the skinny, nerdy kid), I used to obsess about this, until I went to a gym in college and realized most people were there just to work out. Now, 20 years later, that’s something I look for in a gym – not a meet market, but a place where people are really there to get healthy and feel better. Makes all the difference, IMO.

  7. Brad McQuillen says:

    That’s too great about the outfits. I’ve known MANY people who make it a New Year’s resolution to lose x amount of pounds, but secretly turn it into a time to shop for cute workout clothes/shoes.

    Your progress and work is definately paying off. I’ll be looking out for your fitness DVD in 2012. 😀

  8. One other thing to remember is that other people are not really concerned with the way you look. As a *fat* person at the gym, you are way more self-concious than necessary. You think that other people are paying attention to you, but they aren’t. And so what if they are. You do what you gotta do!
    Great work at taking the weight off!
    Bernice
    Are you too busy to be yourself?

  9. It is fundamental to recognize that fitness is crucial to your overall well-being, physical and mental health, and quality of life.

  10. Gyms are good but i don’t have time to go go to a gym anymore so i will workout at home with the TurboFire Workout method.

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    • I love going to the gym but I also have personal fintess equipment at home. I started buying personal fintess equipment to save me some time. It’s a lot easier to jump on the treadmill at home in the morning than it is to make the trek to the gym.But, I love the gym because I can work out with my friends.

  12. Munchkins says:

    Thanks for the article. I randomly googled “looking lost at gym” and this came up. I used to feel pretty at home at gym and would come out feeling proud of myself and super sexy, until about 3 days ago when I trainer came to me and said he wants to train me because I look like I don’t know what I’m doing. From then on I’ve felt like an idiot and a blob, which is why I googled this. Hopefully from now on I can just do my thing without caring what others might think.