Be Present—Starting Now!

This post was written by Dan Blakely of Simplicity Tree.

Do you ever feel like you’re on auto-pilot? A lot of us move through life and simply pass by the moments of joy without pausing, forgetting to unplug. Instead we look forward toward the future. Well, I suggest that the next time your son scores a run, your spouse finishes that piece of art or you see your daughter finally mastering the art of zipping her own coat that you pause for a moment… Look at the expression on their faces and memorize it. Smell the air—is it sweet or fresh? Take it all in.

Creating memories as your currency

Memorize all the salient details of that moment, because these are truly the diamonds of our lives, to be absorbed into the deepest parts of our soul. These are the moments we will look back to in times of grief, the moments we will see in our mind’s eye in times of gentle reflection. These are the memories we will most fondly recall at the end of our days. These are the currency of our souls!

Many people spend much of their lives chasing money or trying to keep up with the fabled Joneses. Do we really need the excessive amounts of money and things that Americans pursue daily? I think you know my answer. Instead, why not spend our time chasing these precious, fleeting moments or arranging our lives so that we create these simple memories with our loved ones as frequently as possible?

This may mean different things—it could be changing careers, reevaluating what is important, or simply eliminating that nasty habit of multi-tasking. Strive for this on a daily basis, and you will be personally richer.

The only investment is you

The simple beauty of this approach is that these memories come at virtually no cost other than the investment of our time, attention to the moment, and dedication to our loved ones. I would argue we owe this to our loved ones anyway. We owe it to them to live in the moment—and we owe it to ourselves to be fully present and absorb the warm richness of these experiences. We deserve these memories. We deserve to live without regrets.

We all have the capacity to achieve this mindset—we just need the right motivation and determination to turn it into reality. However, that motivation and determination are very personal to each of us and they are necessary ingredients for change. You may not have one or both of these ingredients today but as you continue to explore, you will find a time when they do—and you will finally make a breakthrough. The point is that you have to mentally be ready to make this change, and have a reason to persevere.

Tips to get in the moment

I am confident that each of us can do more to be present in the moment and live more. However, making changes stick takes time and patience. The good news is that here, the rewards really are unlimited. If you are having a hard time thinking about how to live more in the moment, here are a few ideas that might help you get started.

Live in the present moment and focus on details

There were times in the past when I’d arrive at work and couldn’t remember the commute, or I’d attend a school event for one of my kids and just think about when it would be over. This is mostly a thing of the past for me, but I still slip at times. When I do, I simply take a deep breath and refocus on the world and people around me.

I try hard to stay intent in the moment and these days, I notice details that a couple of years ago I would not have: the smell of a fireplace on a foggy morning, simple colors on the horizon on a crisp spring morning, or my daughter’s beautiful smile as she talks to her friends after school.

Be emotionally available to others

My wife often tells me that I have to take the time to take care of myself in order for me to take care of others. (She’s smart! I knew I married her for good reason!) Point is that I often get into ruts of not taking the time to recharge my own energy levels. Over a period of time, that can drain my energy and make me negative and impatient.

I now take time to rejuvenate my mind and body so that I can be available for others.

Foster relationships based on love, compassion, and openness

Closely tied to the idea of being emotionally available is our approach to the people around us. For me, this really boils down to being positive, patient, and thoughtful about the circumstances that others may unfortunately find themselves in. It means holding back judgment of others and trying to grasp a better understanding of their particular situation or point of view.

I try to avoid the haters and trolls, as those types of people just pull me into a place that I do not want to be.

Approach life from a perspective of abundance

Being raised in a competitive environment, I operated for much of my life from the belief that everything in life was a competition. You were either a winner or loser, a have or a have-not. Although true with sports to some degree, it does not have to be that way in life.

In the past I would have thought there was only one promotion and I had to “win” it, but now I look at the world differently. That promotion is just one of numerous choices and if I do not get it, there will be other opportunities.

Have a singular focus to absorb the beauty of these fleeting moments

I now avoid multi-tasking and stay in tune with what I am doing. This singular focus has been key for me—I am more efficient and more productive, and I output higher quality results. In the past, I had been known to have my Blackberry in one had responding to an email while having a conversation with my wife. Not any more. Now I work hard to do and focus on one thing at a time.

These are just ideas though—it’s what works for me. This is a home-cooking recipe so mix it up to meet your needs and your personality.

The art of being present needs to be mastered by you based on your personal situation. However, the most important ingredient that must always be there is you must focus on being present in the moment. Not on your cell, not on your laptop, not watching TV—you need to be engaged with the humans around you.

Are you present in your life?

This article was written by Dan Blakely. Dan is the author of Simplicity Tree—a simple living blog focused on living in a simple, thoughtful and sustainable way. You can follow Dan on Twitter at @SimplicityTree.