Why We Love, Why We Cheat

Today I want to share with you a favorite video clip of mine.

It’s from a TED conference held a few years back. It features Dr. Helen Fisher, who is doing some of the most important work in the world right now on romantic love. I could tell you all about it right now, but of course no one can explain it quite the way she can. So I’m going to leave it to her.

I met with Dr. Fisher when I was in New York last year and was utterly charmed by her as I conducted my interview.

She talks about what happens when she puts people who are in love into a brain-scanning machine, and what happens when they are in love and when they’ve just been dumped. She talks about how love is not an emotion like we may always have suspected it was—instead, she says it’s a drive, and a powerful one at that. As Dr. Fisher says in the video: “People live for love, they kill for love, they die for love.”

The video is about half an hour long but it’s fascinating. Grab a coffee and enjoy…

Why We Love, Why We Cheat

…and let us know your thoughts on Dr. Fisher’s points once you’re done!

About Emma

Emma Merkas is the co-creator of couples' inspiration website $30 Date Night and author of the 'How Was It For You?' relationships and dating column in Australian newspaper, mX. You can also find her at her own blog or on Twitter @30dollardate.


  1. Love is nothing but physical chemistry. There are certain chemicals in human body. These chemicals bring the people closer. These chemicals create urge to like someone intensely who has exactly opposite chemical in someone at certain level. The level of chemicals in the body creates the power of attraction.

  2. True, Amoxil. But romance isn’t quite dead yet!

    When I interviewed Helen, even she said there were some things that science couldn’t explain. Why we love who we love, for example.

    True, we’re drawn to the same kinds of people over and over (based again on hormones and chemicals) but the very strong, loving bonds people have with lifelong lovers still have a certain “something” about them, don’t you think?

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